DEAR MISS MANNERS: For nine years, I have been seeing a mental health professional who has been treating me for depression and anxiety. I have a good relationship with the doctor but feel it is time for a change.

The chief reason for considering leaving is that his fees have become too expensive. Many other mental health care professionals' fees in the area are much less. The doctor I am seeing is a one-man operation who leases out a small space in an office building. His education level and experience is not much different than the other doctors I have been researching.

Should I tell him the chief reason I am leaving his practice is the expense, or just that I need a change?

GENTLE READER: Your dealings with professionals such as therapists (and hairdressers) are not social relationships, and their cessation does not require the same amount of care by way of excuses in order to spare their feelings. Miss Manners does not, however, object to the professional courtesy of telling this gentleman that his prices are not competitive. This will also give him the opportunity to counter the offer -- and not wonder forever what he did wrong.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When tipping in cash at restaurants, I have a habit of handing the cash to the waiter or waitress who is serving us after our bill is settled. I have a fear of someone stealing the cash if we leave it on the table, especially if the restaurant is busy. Is this proper etiquette, or should I do this a different way?

GENTLE READER: There is no strict rule to this, as long as you can do it without making a show of it, embarrassing the staff or looking like an illegal trade is being made. If you are unable to manage that, Miss Manners recommends folding it in the leather bill holder or hiding it under a saltshaker.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My mom's friends and I are split on the issue of grandparents and other adult relatives (other than the child's parents) at children's birthday parties.

Some of us have very kid-themed parties (at the playground, for example) and still invite grandparents, while others believe that adults (other than parents of the young attendees) should not be asked to attend parties that are too childish for them to enjoy. The latter group holds two birthday parties for their children each year, one for adult relatives of the child and the other for the child's friends.

We're curious about what etiquette states about this. Those who have been inviting adults to kid-themed parties will mend our ways if we are told we have been erring badly. Some of those who have been holding two parties would like to stop if they are told that just the kid-friendly party is sufficient for everyone.

GENTLE READER: You may be surprised to hear that Miss Manners' only firm stance on the number of children's birthday parties is that they be age-appropriate in activity and provisions (for both adults and children, whether at two parties or one two-layered party), and that you do not tax anyone with feeling obligated to attend multiple parties with multiple presents. Also, no clowns who might scare children (or adults). Other than that, know your audience and invite accordingly.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNER: More and more, I see TV newswomen wearing dresses made mostly or all of lace. I always thought lace was for evening. Am I wrong?

GENTLE READER: What time are they delivering the news? Or what era? Before World War II, even radio newscasters wore evening clothes, although not lace, as they were men.

Miss Manners is reluctant to pass out fashion citations for minor infractions, but delicate lace is indeed traditionally reserved for after 5 p.m. Courser lace, such as eyelet or crochet, is acceptable for daywear. All lace must be accompanied by the proper undergarments and -- if one is a being photographed or filmed -- due attention paid to any nefariously intended lighting effect behind it.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband saw an acquaintance of ours who said to him, "(My wife) says to tell you to have your wife call her. It's our turn to have you to dinner."

Both of us are somewhat new to our city. We had them to dinner once about six months ago, and neither my husband nor I enjoyed the evening as much as we might have, although it wasn't disastrous. She is more interested in material things than we are, and he is somewhat argumentative -- although not obnoxiously so.

Some weeks later, they took us to dinner at a very nice restaurant. We were not aware that they intended to pay for the dinner, but after making the appropriate efforts to share the bill, we accepted their insistent generosity with thanks. That evening was no more pleasurable than the first, although there was nothing odious about either dinner.

The issue is somewhat complicated by the fact that the gentleman and I have been in the same discussion group for about a year, so I will see him again on a casual but professional basis.

I wonder if I'm correct in thinking I should not call said wife. First of all, I think they should call us if they want to invite us, but -- more to the point -- we really don't want to develop this acquaintanceship any further.

GENTLE READER: Calling people to remind them to issue you an invitation is not the way invitations work. It is also infinitely harder to decline an offer that one has oneself initiated.

Tell your husband to ignore the request. If he is questioned by the other husband, he may say, "I got confused by all the pronouns. Please tell your wife that Mary Pat is happy to receive her call."

At which point, Miss Manners assures you, you may decline using whatever excuse you wish. Except for the truth: that the couple is "meh" and not really worth your time. Because even if that is more to the point, it is not the point that will get you out of this politely.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Who are windows for? I think they are to look out to the world from, let in light without wasting electricity, and to keep an eye on one's property.

Our neighbors have children who constantly look in to all our windows. If I am simply facing my window, even from another room, they stare and put their hands on their hips as if I have no right to look outside when they are there, which is very frequent.

I find this very uncomfortable, yet I feel I am entitled to have my shades up. I think it is rude to look in to others' windows. How can I solve this problem?

GENTLE READER: The window undeniably belongs to you. But the real question is who owns the view -- or views, as what you are seeing is different than what your neighbor's children are looking at.

You are seeing the outside world, which Miss Manners, without benefit of a law degree, declares is public property. Your neighbor's children have no reasonable expectation that no one will ever look at them from inside the house.

The children, however, are looking in to your home. This is a private space, sometimes intensely so. But before some wag appropriates this reasoning to make a public display of himself from the comfort of his living room, it is important to remember that the act of opening the shades is also a tacit, if only partial, waiver of privacy. You are always entitled to look out; the child can sometimes be excused for a passing glance, but steady watching habits need to be reported to their parents.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a high school teacher who has a ninth-grader in one of my classes who has never been taught social graces. One of the most egregious things she does is chew with her mouth open -- it's horrible. She also grabs food others are reaching for (she's not thin, so she's not starving), spreads her class material out so that it encroaches on other students' areas, etc.

Conversely, she is happy and eager to learn, and she has great, great potential. Her lack of social skills will ultimately hold her back.

I don't know what to do! I nag her constantly about her horrible diet (she lives on fast food, won't touch a vegetable), her erratic sleep schedule, and the fact that she's late daily for school. I'm afraid if I start on her social skills, it will just be too much. I've thought of sending her to a "finishing school," but I don't think they exist. Plus she doesn't need to be "finished" since she hasn't even started. I would be willing to pay for her to go to some kind of class -- I really believe in this student's future.

GENTLE READER: Although she must often remind people that it is rude to correct another person's manners, Miss Manners observes that the ban does not apply to parents and teachers. (At least not when acting in their official capacity: Being Olivia's mom does not give you jurisdiction over Zoe.)

As parents do less and less parenting, schools have been forced to take over. This is not ideal, but it may be necessary: Your school administration and fellow teachers may be willing, if not eager, to support or sponsor some mini-lessons on basic etiquette that you rightly link with the future success of your pupils.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)