DEAR MISS MANNERS: When we go to my wife's sister's house in Florida for two weeks in the winter, she thinks I should spend all my free time inside in front of the TV with them. That is their main entertainment most days.

My wife has no problem doing this. She is not happy that last year I spent so little time with them in front of the TV. To me, if you are with family, then let's do family stuff: games, coffee, talk time etc. Can't do much talking when the TV is going.

They have a great screened-in porch with a pool that is heated. A great view of stuff going on. Great seating with nice chairs and table. I do lots of reading on the porch. I love reading and do 30 books a year, so it isn't something I just do there.

Should I waste great warm weather eight hours a day in front of the TV or just an hour or two?

GENTLE READER: If this were about youngsters passing their lives staring at screens, Miss Manners would say that it was imperative to call in the adults. How sad that this is about adults.

You have presumably tried prying your relatives away with suggestions of games or other family activities. So all Miss Manners can hope to do is to rescue you.

With your hostess putting in full days watching television, the household is probably not running entirely smoothly. As a long-term guest and relative, it would be kind of you to offer to help. Many such offers, such as running errands and gardening, would take you out into the sunshine.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My brother is getting married this year for the fifth time. How much do I spend on a gift?

GENTLE READER: Traditionally, presents are given only for first weddings, but try telling that to serial bridal couples.

Of course, there is nothing against doing so anyway if one is so inclined. If you are, Miss Manners can only admire your optimism. However, there have never been any rules about how much to spend.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I often have business colleagues stay with me in my home when they are in town for meetings. Sometimes there are multiple people, such as when the main colleague brings a student, assistant or technician.

These people may be romantically involved with each other, but I don't know them well enough to be aware of it. Sometimes there seems to be some borderline relationship and/or I'm just not clear about it.

I have two spare bedrooms, and of course I don't care if they share a room or if they want two separate ones. I just don't know how to show them to their room(s) without assuming one way or another. "Here are two spare rooms, do as you will" isn't really appropriate, nor is dancing around a simple question. I'd appreciate some words to use that will neither make me seem like a prude nor embarrass unattached colleagues.

GENTLE READER: Give them the two rooms, and stay out of the hallway.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I married my husband last May, however I have yet to change my last name. At first I used our honeymoon and the need for my passport to match my ID as a reason. Then we bought a house and I didn't want to delay our closing due to our documents not matching my name.

Now my husband keeps asking me when I am going to change my name, and I have run out of excuses. This has caused me to do some self-reflection, coming to the conclusion that I am afraid to give up my last name. I am in my early 30s and have established myself firmly in both politics and my career in the metroplex where we live. I don't want to switch my middle name for my maiden name because my sister picked out my middle name.

What is the proper etiquette for marriage in your 30s and changing your last name? Is it OK to keep both last names? Should the last names be hyphenated?

GENTLE READER: What you call yourself is entirely up to you -- not Miss Manners. What etiquette does care about is that you not chastise or lecture others for getting it wrong.

However, tact and sensitivity when presenting your decision to your husband (and sympathy for your children, if they have to juggle multi-hyphenated names) are always appreciated.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My parents frequently host longtime friends and neighbors for dessert and a chat after dinner and a movie night. Dessert is frequently cake or pie.

My mother often slices the dessert in advance of the event. I personally would prefer to see the dessert being cut, as it offers the illusion of freshness. I commented that I think she should wait until the guests have arrived before cutting so they may offer input on how big of a slice they would prefer.

She replied that since the guests are seated in the other room and the dessert is not presented as a whole, it does not matter. She added that restaurants do not usually display the entire cake before bringing you a slice.

Our friends and neighbors host my parents for the same event on alternate weeks. I asked my mother whether they wait to cut the dessert. My mother replied, yes, and that it takes almost 10 minutes. Time considerations aside, when is the correct time to cut the cake?

GENTLE READER: Before it is eaten and after it cools. Miss Manners agrees with you about seeing a cake in all its majesty and avoiding waste. But she does find it tedious to hear guests ask for "half of that", "no, half of that", "no, smaller", "no, smaller than that" until the desired crumb is achieved.

There is something about bringing out slices that makes one imagine a decoration disaster in the kitchen, or that leftovers are being served. Miss Manners suggests cupcakes or individual desserts as a compromise.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: On a flight where there were small children in business class, the business people did not appreciate the wiggling, screaming, crying, kicking of seats and overall disruption. The business people were trying to either rest or work. In their opinion, they purchased a premium ticket to avoid the calamities of flying coach.

After one business class passenger talked to another passenger parent about his disruptive child in first class, the parent retorted, "I purchased a ticket just like you did. My kid has every right to be here. My kid is a kid and can't help it."

Mr. Businessman snorted back at the parent, "How would you like it if I brought my grandfather, who has dementia, and seated him next to YOU in business class? He also yells, screams, soils his pants and drools. He can't help it, either. I'll also lay Grandpa in the middle of the aisle and change his diaper just like you do with your kid. I bet you wouldn't think it cute."

It got ugly, and the airline staff came to calm the situation. I did not engage in either side of the argument, remaining wide-eyed and silent, but I could see points as to why each side thought themselves correct.

I've always thought that business class was the equivalent of the "grown-up" table at Thanksgiving -- that one had to earn through proper manners and decorum the right to sit there. My personal belief is that if one is not conscious of the decorum expected in first/business class, they have no "business" being there, no matter what the age of the passenger may be.

Others believe that they paid a premium for additional space in business class and it does not matter if their child, mentally challenged companion, whatever, disrupts others. Others say to suck it up, as it's public transport.

Miss Manners, please help society with some guidelines on expected decorum in first class. What should we tolerate? We realize that we are flying at 40,000 feet in a tube with no escape hatch. We realize that some people paid a premium for extra space in business class for their wiggly young ones, and some people paid a premium for a business class seat for peace and quiet. Co-existing for these two polarities is getting on passengers' raw nerves.

GENTLE READER: Very little is succeeding in not doing that nowadays. People have gone so far as to bring their emotional support rodents to deal with the stress of it all. Miss Manners cannot help but be amused by the image of irate business class passengers seated next to actual rats, rather than imagined ones. They might start to appreciate human children.

It is public transport: There is nothing prohibitive about who sits in which class except for the cost itself. And while it is to be hoped that no diapers will be changed outside of the restrooms, your examples provide evidence that rudeness knows no age limits.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)