DEAR MISS MANNERS: I used to be comfortable about responding to invitations and announcements, but some recent ones from longtime friends have left me wondering:

"We would like to invite you to a wedding concert with some informal dancing (date, time, location). NO PRESENTS, but please bring a potluck finger food that does not need refrigeration plus a bottle of champagne to share. Please do not tell others and RSVP ASAP so we can fill your spot if you cannot come." No mention of any wedding for this decades-long co-habiting couple.

"Please join us at our son Englebert's graduation ceremony (date, time, location). Although he will not be able to attend, we look forward to sharing this event with you."

"Penelope died yesterday -- no services, and PLEASE, no flowers or condolences."

"A baby shower for Lulu and Axelrod (people we have never heard of) is being given by their friends (who are not identified by names or any return address). No need to attend -- just mail a gift card to the home of her parents (whose identities are also unknown to us)."

"We've moved! Housewarming gifts may be sent to (new address). We look forward to seeing you sometime in the next year or so!"

How should I respond to each of these?

GENTLE READER: Why would you want to?

If you share Miss Manners' belief that not answering invitations is a high crime, she thanks you. But these are not exactly invitations. The wedding concert is a suggestion that you prepare yourself a picnic. The graduation is a ceremony that even the guest of honor has declined. The death announcement has allowed no opportunity to mourn. The shower and housewarming request contributions without attendance.

If you actually know these people, it would be kind to send congratulations or condolences, despite their not having expressed warmth or offered hospitality.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: It has always been my understanding that it is common courtesy and common knowledge that one should keep to the right when walking along sidewalks, stairwells, hallways and other public walkways. However, over the past several years, I've increasingly noticed that many people seem to walk to their left and even refuse to yield when other pedestrians are coming toward them from the opposite direction.

Were the rules changed without my knowledge?

GENTLE READER: Are you asking Miss Manners whether the Etiquette Council met, when everyone was marching smartly to the right, and ordered them all to the left (except for those who got special permission to meander)? Or whether there was a hostile takeover from the British branch?

No. You are just running into people who don't follow the rules. Or they are running into you.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it still correct to congratulate only the groom and give the bride best wishes, or has that rule changed?

GENTLE READER: That one hasn't changed, either, but nobody knows it and violating it does no harm.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am someone with rather striking features. While my parents brought me up to believe that one should compliment people on their accomplishments rather than on any immutable characteristics, I'm generally OK with compliments and can usually find a way to thank them and promptly change the subject.

What I'm less OK with is the set of follow-up questions. "Where are you from?" I was born here. "No, but where are you from?" I'm even less OK with the "What ARE you?" question.

No, I'm not part X. Nor am I East Ruritanian. And NO, I did not model when I was younger. Is there a way to gracefully dodge this question?

When faced with actual rudeness, I can muster up a scandalized expression and an "I beg your pardon?" But what about the well-intentioned?

Until now I've mostly deployed a wan smile and changed the subject. If pressed by a complete stranger, I will sometimes offer up some wholly false ancestral information.

But it becomes even more problematic when I'm accompanied by my nephews. Both of them are of mixed ancestry and look absolutely nothing like each other. While I can usually brush off the occasional intrusion, they are much too young. My nephew, when asked, has stated that he's a fireman, which I think is an excellent response. But what does Miss Manners recommend?

GENTLE READER: Listen to your nephew. His approach hits just the right tone -- lighthearted, but confusing enough to cease further inquiry.

In less volatile times, Miss Manners would have recommended a quizzical look followed by, "I am American." Unfortunately, now those seem like fighting words. The nonsensical response to offensive fishing expeditions of "what you are" might work best. A young friend of Miss Manners' suggests a gummy bear.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wife's grandson is getting married. She has been married four times and her husband cannot make the trip. Her kids asked her to walk in with her first husband. Is this acceptable or bad taste?

GENTLE READER: That depends. Is her first husband the children's father -- or simply their favorite? If the former, it is acceptable. If the latter, in poor taste. Her fourth husband might point that out.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a colleague (a subordinate) who is terminally ill with ALS, and her condition is rapidly deteriorating. When she notifies me and her other supervisors by email that she will take a sick day, I have no idea how to properly respond.

With anyone else (not terminally ill) I would say, feel better soon, get well, etc. I feel these are not appropriate, as she is not going to get better. Just saying message received or not responding at all seems rude.

What would be the appropriate way to acknowledge that she is out sick in this situation? I care about her, having known her for about 15 years, and this whole situation breaks my heart. We cannot call her, as the disease has impacted her speech and she no longer answers the phone.

GENTLE READER: Respond to the email professionally, but compassionately saying, "Thank you for letting us know, as we are all concerned about you. One of us will email to check on you to see if there is anything you need."

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it OK to enclose a little note with a baby shower invitation asking that guests wrap gifts in clear paper -- or go green and not wrap them at all?

GENTLE READER: Wouldn't it be easier to skip the middle man and just grab the presents out of your guests' hands as soon as they are purchased?

Miss Manners is not impervious to saving the environment, just dismayed at the utter lack of mystery -- and completely transactional nature -- the art of present-giving has become. Not wrapping the gift gives the effect that it just fell off the truck -- and clear wrap serves no real purpose either way; it's just lazy. Surely there are recyclable materials that your guests could use, but that is not yours to suggest. Reusing or recycling the paper whenever possible is the best, most polite recourse.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a young woman living at home with my parents due to health issues, and am unemployed. It is common for new acquaintances to ask me, "What do you do?"

While I do not mind sharing some of this information if the person seems receptive, generally speaking, it seems inappropriate to mention medical woes to a perfect stranger, who is most likely just making polite conversation. And if I am meeting many new people at a party, it feels especially awkward to have mentioned to everyone in the room that I am not well.

However, simply saying some version of, "I'm unemployed and I live with my parents" (no matter how graciously I try to word it) often leads to awkward pauses or even winds the conversation down to its demise, as they often appear unsure how to respond. Turning the question back to them only works if we have not already covered them.

Am I missing a better way to answer the question and put the inquirer at ease, without accidentally stepping into TMI territory?

GENTLE READER: Yes, because Miss Manners notices that you are interpreting "doing" as meaning only paid employment. If you reply something like, "I am tackling Proust at the moment, and I find the theme of involuntary memory to be fascinating ...," you will be off and running. Or they will be.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I've always been told that a guest shouldn't wear a white dress to a wedding so you don't look like you're trying to compete with the bride, and you shouldn't wear a red dress so you don't look like you're trying to take attention away from the bride.

Do these rules still apply when the wedding is between two gentlemen?

GENTLE READER: Do you really want to be the one to explain to Great Aunt Anastasia that you are not the bride? Or, for that matter, to the bridegrooms that you are not seeking attention?

Best to stick to convention. Miss Manners reminds you that it is the purpose of having a wedding in the first place.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)