DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am the parent of a vivacious, bright, delightful toddler. She just celebrated her second birthday at a small family get-together (five adults, including myself, as well as my daughter and toddler niece). A not-insignificant part of the decision to skip a large party was that I would rather mark occasions with experiences, rather than things. The party, and playing with her cousin, was a blast!

The issue arose when we had cake and gifts after dinner. My mother loves her granddaughters, but by her own admission does not relate to them very well. As such, she tends to overindulge them a bit. This is fine by me occasionally, but I strive to make sure that my daughter is not materialistic; her gift from me was a baby doll she’d been coveting.

So I was a bit surprised when she opened a gift (one of seven) from my mom and it was a tablet! I politely thanked my mother, as did my daughter, who had no idea what it was, and promptly asked to be excused to go play with her doll.

While I respect people’s choices to give their toddlers technology, it’s not the way I choose to raise mine. She watches TV, but it is always with one of her parents, and it is never used as a babysitter. There are times when I come home after work and would love to disappear into my smartphone and shut out the world, but I work hard to teach my daughter that our time together is precious and remain fully engaged.

My mother meant well with this gift, but she went way overboard, and I am unsure how to handle it. Is there any way to bring this up to her without coming off as incredibly ungrateful? I worry about this becoming a precedent, and what future Christmases and birthdays will bring!

GENTLE READER: How adorable. Miss Manners is, of course, talking about you, not your daughter, although she is sure that your daughter is, too.

Congratulations on encouraging your child to socialize, rather than being dominated by technology -- and in foregoing materialism in favor of ... baby dolls? (Rather than what, Miss Manners is not sure. What would be more material for a 2-year-old? A car?)

Forgive Miss Manners’ cynicism. She is in total agreement with you that these are worthy goals for child-rearing, and sincerely hopes that you will be the first parent in the history of modern America to enforce them successfully.

Barring that, however, she reminds you that grandparents do not take kindly to being told what they may or may not buy for their grandchildren -- and will likely share Miss Manners’ cynicism about your rearing a child who completely eschews technology in favor of socializing.

Miss Manners warns you that these conversations will likely be irksome to you, if you choose to have them. She recommends instead that you spare all parties, thank your mother, and make rules about technology that you have the ability to enforce when your daughter is old and aware enough to show interest -- which she soon will be.

In the meantime, enjoy your new tablet. Miss Manners is certain that your gratitude to your mother will be genuine the next time you are on a long journey with your child and find yourself suddenly eager to share it.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My pregnant daughter and her husband live in my backyard, in a charming but tiny apartment they made out of my office and garage. My son-in-law’s parents recently visited from out of town, and subsequently sent the kids a gift of a toaster, a microwave and a coffee machine.

They can’t have missed the lack of available space in the kids’ apartment, so I assume they intended these objects to stay with me, in my house. I was not pining for these appliances, wouldn’t have picked them in this color, and suspect they’ll get little use by me.

Must I thank his parents for the gifts? Or is the kids’ thanks adequate? I am a poor liar.

GENTLE READER: Then do not poach your kids’ presents.

As these appliances were given to them, it is up to them what they do with them -- and that might be returning them for something more practical, cramming them into their tiny home or putting them in storage until they have a bigger one.

Thanks are required only from the direct recipient of presents. And that is just as well, because stating that you appropriated theirs and being unable to disguise your dislike are not seemly ingredients for a letter of thanks.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A few months ago, I received an emailed wedding invitation from someone whose email address was not familiar to me. The wedding date was almost six months away.

There was no mention of any name in the invitation, just a photo of the couple, then the place, date, time and a link to click to reply. I had no idea who this person was, and puzzled for a few seconds, before enlarging the photo and seeing that the future groom looked vaguely familiar. I figured it must be the son of a friend who I heard was engaged.

Since I would be on vacation at that time, I sent my regret. Later, a few friends mentioned that they’d had the same difficulty figuring out who the wedding invitation came from. One of them contacted the father of the groom and was told that the invitations were sent early because the families wanted to weed out the ones not coming so they could invite the next “wave.” She was discouraged from accepting the invitation, because “the overnight stay at this remote location might be a bit much for her and her husband.”

She said she decided not to go because she felt a bit insulted, but will send a gift. My feeling is that the whole thing was an insult, and I would not feel obligated to send a gift. Do you agree?

GENTLE READER: If the “first wave” friends do not recognize them, Miss Manners is baffled by what the second one will look like. But that is not your problem. Neither, you will be pleased to hear, is getting a present for an event that you are not attending and involving people you hardly know.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it disrespectful to bring an ex-girlfriend to see her ex-boyfriend, in front of the current girlfriend, while the ex-boyfriend is in his last days of life?

GENTLE READER: One should comply with the wishes of the dying, if possible.

This often requires restraint on all sides, and possibly discomfort. It certainly requires knowing what those wishes are -- which is not evident from your question.

The ex-girlfriend does not have a right to a final visit, and so must make a request. If a visit is to occur, the current girlfriend could be gracious by excusing herself. Miss Manners is unclear of the identity of the person “bringing” the ex-girlfriend, and reminds him or her that this is not an area in which outside judgments about what is fitting will be welcome.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a question about sit-down social events, such as weddings or large dinner parties, when there is more than one table of guests. If, after everyone has finished eating, one member of a couple excuses themselves (e.g. restroom), does the other person have to wait until their spouse/partner returns to the table to also leave the table?

For example: Everyone has eaten and plates are cleared, some guests are still seated, drinking coffee and chatting, and others have excused themselves to dance or socialize. Does the spouse/partner left at the table have to wait until the other person returns?

GENTLE READER: Although couples are treated as a social unit for invitations and seating (when they should be separated), not everything can be synchronized. So long as you are not looking to make a getaway without saying goodbye -- or, in a restaurant setting, paying your share of the bill -- both members of a couple are free to excuse themselves at any point for a bathroom visit.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a friend who asks numerous times to see me, but declines every situation I propose to make a visit happen.

I have offered to go to her, to have her come over, to bring her husband, to meet somewhere publicly -- and she declines every option. She always comes back in a few weeks to ask when we can meet, and the cycle continues.

How do I respond to her next request? I am confused by how much she approaches me to spend time together, only to decline every option I can think of to meet her.

GENTLE READER: Contrary to popular belief, the scourge of casual interactions is not “How is your day going?” but, “We should get together.” People have learned not to fall for the former -- realizing that they are not being asked for a detailed report -- but the latter still deceives.

That you have made numerous offers, and that all of them have been rejected, is a clue that your friend is not serious about getting together. Miss Manners has an easy solution, which is to respond in kind: “I’d love to; why don’t you suggest something?” This can be repeated over a course of years if necessary.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)