DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am in trouble. I made a mistake. I was deeply surprised to see that a colleague served Thanksgiving dinner to her guests using aluminum pans, paper plates, paper napkins and plastic flatware. I posted a reaction to the photos of her dinner.
She is now angry and calls me a hater. This has stuck in her craw, because she keeps texting me. I suggested to her, and to others, that the holidays should be the time when we clear out china closets and use our very best china, stemware, flatware, etc. to serve our guests.
I admit I am biased. Growing up, my mother used the best of everything she had for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners. I follow her standard. It is a matter of hospitality, and demonstrates to your family and friends that you went over and above the usual because they are special.
Apparently, my mother’s standards are no more. I know I was wrong to criticize. Should I apologize?
GENTLE READER: Is that all your mother taught you about the meaning of Thanksgiving and Christmas? “Use the good china”?
Yes, you must apologize, publicly and profusely, for having publicly humiliated someone who showed hospitality. Even so, Miss Manners doubts that she, or anyone who saw your posting, will ever invite you again.