DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m a single woman in my early 30s, and many of my co-workers are younger than myself. They’re very worldly, many of them married and having babies, or at least in committed relationships.

Sex and relationships are big topics of discussion amongst these co-workers, and are topics that I am uncomfortable discussing with people that I am not particularly close to. I barely discuss these things with my family and friends. I feel that my history and perspectives would not be respected or understood by this group.

However, they feel it is OK to press me on these topics. They seem to find it odd that I do not express interest in being married or wanting to be in a relationship. Almost everyone seems baffled by my reluctance to jump into relationships -- or beds, for that matter. It seems that love and marriage are goals that must be achieved immediately after a career has been established, and that society expects this.

I am reticent to disclose my (very nonexistent) romantic past when pressed. I know they make their own assumptions at my reluctance to share. I also know that they speculate about why I am not eager to be in a relationship.

I am happy with my life as it is. I am shy, conservative and have a set of morals not compatible with modern ideas about dating. Thus, I am not at all interested in the modern dating scene.

I find it stressful to have to listen to the teases and offers of matchmaking with their acquaintances -- quite honestly, a set of people I very much doubt I would have anything in common with. I feel embarrassed at the idea of people being forced into my company, and vice versa, for the express purpose of forming a romantic attachment, and the expectations that come along with that.

I received a message from a co-worker who I have not seen in some time, offering to set me up with a man she believes would be “perfect” for me. I debated how to reply in an off-the-cuff, jokey, “Thanks, but I’m OK” way. I have left it for so long that now it is too late to respond. I do not know how to acknowledge her text when I see her again. I know, 100 percent, that she will broach the subject.

What does a single girl do when faced with so many pushy matchmakers? And how do I respond to their inquiries about my love life without alienating myself from my co-workers? I enjoy working with them, as long as they leave my love life out of the discussion.

GENTLE READER: “That’s kind of you, but I am not available.” And to the inevitable follow-up question, “It’s not something I want to discuss.”

Miss Manners realizes that your colleagues will assume that you are having a clandestine affair with someone of such prominence as to be protective of their public reputation. Or that your heart is in someone’s premature grave. Or that you have taken secret religious vows.

But don’t mind that. As long as you keep responding cheerfully but firmly, they will eventually have to give up.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: While traveling, my husband and I decided to stop for the night. I called a large, mid-priced chain hotel. While talking, the clerk asked to put me on hold. It was a long while, but I figured she had to wait on someone at the counter.

A few minutes later, we got to the hotel. The same woman was at the desk. In the middle of our discussion, she excused herself and went to the back. It was, again, a very long wait, and when she finally came out, I asked if something was wrong.

“I’m sick,” she said. I asked her if she meant her stomach. It was. I asked if it was contagious, and she said, “I hope not.” I was horrified and pulled back from the counter, saying that I did not want to get sick. She said she understood and would ask her manager to wait on me, then went to the back again. I waited and waited and nobody came out. I guess she was vomiting again.

I told my husband that I just wanted to leave. He was very annoyed with me, but we left. He said I was terribly rude and had embarrassed him with the way I physically reacted.

My main concern was not catching whatever she had. Besides standing right in front of her, she would have been handling my credit card, the room keys, the pen and paperwork that I would also handle.

Was I rude? I just did not want to get sick. How else should I have handled the situation?

GENTLE READER: With at least a semblance of polite concern for the person who is actually sick, before becoming consumed with the remote likelihood of your own illness.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What does “elegant shades of white” mean for wedding attire?

GENTLE READER: That the bride is the highly unusual combination of dictatorial, yet willing to be upstaged.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: If a gift is given, is it ever appropriate for the giver to tell the recipient that more time and effort went into the gift than would possibly meet the eye? (“Believe it or not, it took all day to find just the right one for you.”)

On one hand, since it is the thought that counts, the recipient might want to know the amount of thought (“That was so nice of you!”). On the other hand, such disclosures may tarnish the gift and come off like crass fishing for thanks.

Even if there is direct inquiry (“How long did it take you to make it?”), is it permissible to respond directly, or is deflection (“Oh, it was no trouble, really”) the preferred response?

GENTLE READER: “Oh, I had so much fun finding/ordering/whittling this present for you. I do hope that you enjoy it.” If asked for more detail, Miss Manners will allow you to indulge modestly. Indulge, not luxuriate.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband asked me if I would hand him a specific item from his sizable work bag, which was across the room. I brought him the entire bag instead of removing the requested item.

His response was to angrily snap at me that I might as well have not done him a favor at all, and went on to imply that if I’m too lazy to do a favor in the manner requested, that I should say so and he would just do it himself.

I was floored at the rudeness of it all and stubbornly stood my ground, saying that he should be more clear. He maintains it is common sense that I should have brought him the specific item requested, not the entire bag, and that it is not unreasonable to expect a favor to be done precisely as it was worded.

He apologized for his overreaction, but he wants an apology from me -- for angrily telling him that the only proper response when someone does you a favor is “thank you” and that his argument is absurd.

I just can’t bring myself to apologize for doing him a favor. I have a feeling this argument is going to stay around until I break down and apologize, but fear it will set a precedent wherein asking for favors will become a dreaded question.

GENTLE READER: At the risk of getting herself embroiled in this volatile dispute, Miss Manners will say this: Her own dear mother taught her never to look inside anyone else’s belongings and to just hand the whole bag over, as you did. She permits you to relay that to your husband. But for the sake of the marriage, you might preempt it by saying, “I am sorry that I got angry, dear, but ...”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve quit drinking alcohol, and now drink tonic water in social situations. Is it rude to bring a bottle to a dinner party where I know a lot of different wines (but no other drinks) will be served? Or should I stick to water, as my friends don’t usually have tonics on hand?

GENTLE READER: Stick to water -- for the moment, at least. Bringing your own beverage should really only be relegated to potlucks and fraternity parties. However, if you request the drink enough times when asked for your preference, Miss Manners has high hopes that eventually it will appear.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My mother recently gave me a photograph in a frame. I had given her that photo and frame 20 years ago. Her gift was hurtful to me, since I thought it was a meaningful gift when I gave it to her.

Is it necessary to thank someone for a gift you originally gave to them?

GENTLE READER: If it happens again, you might watch for memory loss. But Miss Manners will allow you to say, “Funny. Our tastes are so similar. How meaningful for us to have the same photograph in both of our homes.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)