DEAR MISS MANNERS: We attended a doggie birthday pool party with our dog, and we’d like to reciprocate. However, the hosts’ 150-pound male Newfoundland dog relentlessly tried mounting our 130-pound female, and they did nothing to intervene.

After an hour of this harassment, we decided to leave the party early, rather than risk a hip problem or other injury to our dog.

There were several other giant dogs at the party who were well mannered, and we’d like to get together with them again. The previous hosts are sure to find out if we exclude them from our gathering to protect our dog. Is there any polite way to request that the previous hosts keep their dog under control?

GENTLE READER: “We would love to include Chimera at our get-together, but I am afraid that Pixie is a bit afraid of him. I wonder if there is any way to keep them apart so that she is free to attend to her other guests.” And then Miss Manners recommends that you keep them all out of the birthday cake.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is one to do about friends and relatives who are “bad leavers”?

My husband and I have three kids. We often socialize with friends and family, who also have kids, at our house, which we have set up with lots of fun, kid-friendly spaces. My issue is that it sometimes takes these parents what seems like hours to get their kids out the door when it is time to go home. So we all have to watch while the parents ask the kids to stop doing the activity, like jumping on the trampoline, multiple times, ask their kids to find their shoes multiple times, etc.

When my brother and his family spent the weekend, I asked him several times on Saturday when they planned to leave on Sunday. He said they were definitely leaving by noon because they had to be somewhere else. But they didn’t get out the door till 3:30 p.m.

It is agonizing to watch their slow process and poorly behaved kids, but it seems to be rude to yell at their kids or get out the vacuum. It is getting to the point where we want to say “yes, you can come, but only if you leave on time.” What to do?

GENTLE READER: The problem you describe is not unique to children. And there is, unfortunately, a limit to what can be accomplished by end times printed on invitations, surreptitious glances at your watch, or clearing the dishes from the dishwasher.

After the above have failed, more serious measures may be necessary. These do include vacuuming, as well as thanking your guests for coming, putting all the toys away, and pleading an outside appointment or an early flight.

They do not include turning out the lights or going to bed. If your brother is the perpetrator, a private conversation should be possible. But the only sure solution for non-relatives is one that Miss Manners laments can merely prevent future problems, not solve the current one: When they finally do leave, do not invite them back.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: About once every two or three years since I turned 18, my parents decide to give me money for my birthday. While this was OK in college, it quickly became annoying.

I’ve always told them I don’t need money from them; I make sure to say this (nicely) several times, every time they send one of these gifts, but they blatantly refuse to take me seriously: “Oh, don’t be silly, one ALWAYS needs money!”

I’m now in my 30s, and I have a well-paying, stable job and a lot of my own money in my savings account. Frankly, at this point, their money “gifts” feel outright insulting. Not to mention that the money is sent via mailed checks, which then become a huge contention point. Every time, they spend weeks afterwards doing nothing but nagging me in increasingly annoying terms -- via phone, email and now text, too -- to deposit the check.

Frankly, a gift that I really never wanted is just not going to be at the top of my priority list out of all the other things I have to do daily.

My parents do not actually care about the huge headache these unwanted gifts bring me, and end up on occasion getting nasty and confrontational, claiming that not depositing the checks promptly causes THEM great inconvenience, and openly berating me over my own birthday gift.

Their behavior causes me a lot of stress every time this happens, exacerbating my lifelong anxiety condition. What should I do about this issue without getting outright rude and severely damaging my relationship with my parents?

Shouldn’t accepting gifts and what to do with them be up to the recipient? Especially clearly unasked-for and unwanted gifts? Shouldn’t they have gotten the message by now, after all the many times this situation has repeated itself, and finally quit mailing me checks?

GENTLE READER: Forgive Miss Manners, but after decades of letters from Gentle Readers asking for her permission to extort money openly, she is somewhat shaken by someone’s asking her how to get rid of it as an insulting nuisance. She needs a moment to collect herself.

That said, the annoyance that you feel seems out of proportion to the alleged crime. As it is unlikely that your parents will change, and as your admonishments --presuming that you are able to contain your anger and indignation and state them politely -- are to no avail, why not donate that money to a cause in which you believe? Doing so may make the tiresome act of depositing checks more palatable -- and if not, modern technology has made it easier to do it from home.

Or, pick a recipient that your parents might find disagreeable: “I do wish that you would realize that your generous monetary gifts are unnecessary. But if you insist, I have decided to donate them to Cousin Irksome’s inventions fund. I hear his latest undertaking is squirrel-cloning.”

You may find the problem quickly solved.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I recognize that the general rule is that it is polite to pay attention to those people actually in one’s presence, and not chat on a mobile phone when you have live people right there with you.

But what about the instance when you are intentionally off alone, on the phone, and others come up to you and interrupt the conversation?

I am thinking of a situation in which I was waiting for my significant other to fill out some forms at his new job. We had driven together because we had some mutual errands to run after he finished. I happily spread out on a blanket under a tree, rather far from the office building, got out a snack for myself, and, once done eating, called my brother on my cellphone to inquire as to the health of my sister-in-law, who was quite ill.

We were discussing whether I should come visit, when all of a sudden, I barely heard my name being called from afar. It was my significant other and his new boss, waving at me and calling out; apparently, she expected to meet me! So of course, I got up from my blanket, crossed the field to the building and shook hands with her, telling my brother to hold on a minute and apologizing to her for being on the phone.

But I wondered ever since what the proper protocol was. Is there a polite way to say, “I’m sorry, but I’m on the phone just now” (which obviously can’t be done with a boss)? Or is it always rude to ignore those right in front of you, even if they have interrupted you when you were quite obviously trying to have a conversation in private?

GENTLE READER: So many people are, understandably, irked at being ignored in favor of a companion’s telephone that Miss Manners welcomes a reminder that the underlying etiquette is more concerned with seniority than technology.

Your brother comes first, not because he is family, but because the conversation with him preceded that with your partner and his boss. And this would be true whether the interruption was from your spouse’s new boss, or his old barber.

In either case, it is important to convey to the interloper that he is intruding -- while acting as if the rudeness was unintentional. If in close proximity, the correct response is, “I’m sorry, but I was just in the middle of a call,” but mouthed, so as to be only barely audible, and accompanied by your free hand pointing at the phone.

The theatrical delivery is meant to dramatize for the newcomer that this is an interruption not only of the call, but of an actual person. In your case, the same delivery could have been used, albeit less effectively, once you had closed the distance -- although you could have also used the travel time to tell your brother you would call him back.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)