DEAR MISS MANNERS: I recognize that the general rule is that it is polite to pay attention to those people actually in one’s presence, and not chat on a mobile phone when you have live people right there with you.

But what about the instance when you are intentionally off alone, on the phone, and others come up to you and interrupt the conversation?

I am thinking of a situation in which I was waiting for my significant other to fill out some forms at his new job. We had driven together because we had some mutual errands to run after he finished. I happily spread out on a blanket under a tree, rather far from the office building, got out a snack for myself, and, once done eating, called my brother on my cellphone to inquire as to the health of my sister-in-law, who was quite ill.

We were discussing whether I should come visit, when all of a sudden, I barely heard my name being called from afar. It was my significant other and his new boss, waving at me and calling out; apparently, she expected to meet me! So of course, I got up from my blanket, crossed the field to the building and shook hands with her, telling my brother to hold on a minute and apologizing to her for being on the phone.

But I wondered ever since what the proper protocol was. Is there a polite way to say, “I’m sorry, but I’m on the phone just now” (which obviously can’t be done with a boss)? Or is it always rude to ignore those right in front of you, even if they have interrupted you when you were quite obviously trying to have a conversation in private?

GENTLE READER: So many people are, understandably, irked at being ignored in favor of a companion’s telephone that Miss Manners welcomes a reminder that the underlying etiquette is more concerned with seniority than technology.

Your brother comes first, not because he is family, but because the conversation with him preceded that with your partner and his boss. And this would be true whether the interruption was from your spouse’s new boss, or his old barber.

In either case, it is important to convey to the interloper that he is intruding -- while acting as if the rudeness was unintentional. If in close proximity, the correct response is, “I’m sorry, but I was just in the middle of a call,” but mouthed, so as to be only barely audible, and accompanied by your free hand pointing at the phone.

The theatrical delivery is meant to dramatize for the newcomer that this is an interruption not only of the call, but of an actual person. In your case, the same delivery could have been used, albeit less effectively, once you had closed the distance -- although you could have also used the travel time to tell your brother you would call him back.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been invited to a family wedding with a plus-one. A few months before receiving the invitation, I ended my long-term relationship, but I was fairly private about it and did not make it widely known.

The family member who invited me had met my former partner, and I believe that she extended the plus-one expecting he would attend, not knowing I am no longer dating him. The invitation was addressed to myself “and Guest.” I worry it might be deceptive not to let my relative know about the breakup and offer her the chance to rescind the plus-one.

I would like to bring a date (and have one ready and eager to join me), but I wouldn’t want to do so if it’s a breach of etiquette. Should I inform her, or can I bring any date I like?

GENTLE READER: Harboring a strong dislike for the “plus one” invitation, Miss Manners is resisting the temptation to say that those who issue anonymous invitations have no one to blame but themselves when strangers appear on their doorstep. If the bride was hoping your former partner would attend, then she might have troubled to learn his name.

No matter. Your own dilemma can be resolved by telling the bride how much you are looking forward to the wedding, as is your new friend, whom you cannot wait for her to meet. This is meant to warn the bride of the change, not -- and this is important -- to give her the opportunity to commit the rudeness of rescinding an already-issued invitation. It is to forestall any such attempt that this enthusiasm is being conveyed.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I received an email that was sent to a distribution list of everyone in my division of the large company where I work. It was from a co-worker that I have never met, telling us that his young son, who had been ill, passed away the night before.

I can’t imagine how difficult this is for my co-worker, and my heart goes out to him, but I don’t know whether or how to respond. Replying to the email to express condolences seems crass, especially since hundreds of other employees might do the same. The email includes no address information.

I suppose that I could Google around to see if I can find an address where I can send condolences, but that seems intrusive. Ignoring the email seems cold and insensitive. What is the polite way to handle this message?

GENTLE READER: What you have received is a death notice, albeit as an electronic communication from the principal mourner rather than a printed obituary in a newspaper. The etiquette is identical if you think of the company as the newspaper’s readership.

Etiquette does not require you to take any notice for someone you have never met, particularly in a large city (company). This does not mean that Miss Manners does not appreciate your feelings for your bereaved co-worker, nor does it bar you from sending a handwritten note (to an address your company can provide) that you are under no compulsion of etiquette to pen.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I admit it: I am not a user of social media. I care not at all if some self-absorbed celebrity is, or is not, breastfeeding. Nor do I believe one’s every thought needs to or should be broadcast to the masses in an early morning tweet. How does Miss Manners view social media and the apparent complete abandonment of civility?

GENTLE READER: Social media did not invent bragging or celebrity gossip; it is only a system for distributing them widely. (It did, however, commit the crime of inventing “Please admire my lunch!” photography.)

Still, Miss Manners notices that participation remains voluntary. You no more need to be on social media than to hang on the back fence listening to neighborhood gossip.

The reward is a lot of free time to do more interesting things, although admittedly some of it must be spent explaining to your real-life social circle that if they want to reach you for an announcement or an invitation, they must do it another way.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I got an email from a niece informing me that she was pregnant. She made an improvident marriage about six months ago to a man with limited education and no ambition. He has a criminal record, and two children.

Now he has insisted that the two children come and live with them, although his ex is too poor to pay child support. The couple lives in a small apartment, and they have no prospects of getting a home because he does not earn much. My niece just finished college, and I was hoping she’d get a good job so they could eventually buy a home.

I feel this decision to have a child dooms them to poverty, and that it was incredibly poor judgment on their part. I also believe it is wrong to bring children into the world if you cannot provide adequately for them. I have not answered the email because I honestly can’t think of anything positive to say without being two-faced. Any ideas of what I could say while being true to myself?

GENTLE READER: “I wish you all the best”? And when the baby arrives, it would be kind of you to offer to help.

Miss Manners realizes that you think that such a response would be an endorsement of an unfortunate, not to say reckless, situation. But your niece is not asking you whether she should have a baby, any more than she asked you if she should marry a criminal.

This child, who will be your relative, is on the way, regardless of your opinion. Your disapproval will not change that, or serve any purpose other than adding to the burdens your niece seems already to be carrying. Surely your hope should be to subtract from them, if that is possible.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What type of gloves should be worn at a tea? Long or short?

GENTLE READER: Short, as teas are held during the afternoon. But Miss Manners whispers that you can get away without any, as gloves must be removed before you partake of tea.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)