DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a young woman finishing up her degree at a local community college. I must admit to being very fond of my cellphone; I read the news on it when I wake up, play games while waiting for the bus, listen to music during my ride and so on.

However, even I’m surprised by the number of people who pull out their phones in (what I believe to be) wholly inappropriate situations.

Not only do people take out their phones in class (distracting me and other students who are trying to pay attention to the lecture), but worse, there seems to be NO place they won’t take out their phone.

For example, I was in the locker room after my aqua yoga class, changing back into regular clothes. All of a sudden, I heard a camera shutter go off. Frightened, I pulled my towel around myself tightly and turned around to locate the noise.

As it turned out, it was simply another young woman (fully clothed, thankfully) taking a selfie in the large locker room mirror. After getting my wits about me, I managed a pointed “Do you mind?”, which she seemed baffled by.

Leaving alone my fear at the sound that someone was specifically taking pictures of women in the locker room, Miss Manners, what if she had gotten me in the background of her shot? What if she had not cropped it out? I would be horrified that such a picture of me existed.

Was I wrong to call her out? Was there something else I should have said, either initially or after she didn’t seem to understand my upset? And finally, could I please implore other Gentle Readers not to take photos (or do other public business, such as phone or video calls) in such a private environment?

GENTLE READER: If common sense is not prevailing, you might ask the establishment to post a sign: “No cameras in the locker room -- without a warrant.”

Miss Manners sees nothing wrong with your quite understandable reaction. If you felt the need to explain --and potentially avoid a repeat experience -- you could have said, “I am sorry for my reaction, but I was startled. I do not think that people want their pictures taken when they are in various states of undress. At least not without signing a waiver first.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I was young, I was taught by nuns in elementary school. And when I went home at night, my mother was there to control and teach me.

The nuns would never have allowed the language I hear from children today. I’m not sure how happy they would have been to hear it from the parents, either. I’m increasingly bothered when I hear “oh my God.”

Is there any way to get people to stop? I see videos online of parents saying it, children repeating it. I find it so offensive. Especially that the parents are not teaching the children that they are too young to decide to use such language. They could at least learn to withhold it in public.

GENTLE READER: Or cloyingly abbreviate it.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter and I disagree on a very touchy subject. She thinks that it is appropriate to call someone out on something that they have said that is racist or bigoted in any situation. I feel that there is about one time in 20 where it is not appropriate.

I think that if you are at a social event with co-workers and your boss says something in this manner, you should turn and walk away. She says that I am not standing up for others who are different. She thinks it’s worth losing your job over. Who is doing the correct thing in this situation?

GENTLE READER: Gone, thankfully, are the days of saying “that’s just the way he is” as an excuse, or of shrugging about a boss’s being “old school.”

However, Miss Manners is not unsympathetic to people who need the work -- and there is a time and a place to fight one’s battles. But if one is willing to quit a job, it behooves that person to quit in a responsible way that gets the point across, but is also professional.

“I am afraid that we do not see eye-to-eye on several issues, so I think it best that I leave the company. I hope that you will make your next employee -- no matter what their race, religion or sexual orientation -- feel welcome.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I sent out invitations for a small party, quite some time in advance, and received prompt RSVPs declaring that almost everyone would attend. In the week leading up to the party, almost everyone has revoked their RSVP, for various entirely plausible reasons.

Of the 15 or so who agreed to come, only three now intend to grace me with their presence. Those who are no longer attending are chums of mine of various stripes.

I am confident that I am not being shunned for any reason, and I don’t want to stir things up by holding a grudge. However, I do not know how to politely respond to suggestions that they “swing by at the end” without seeming passive-aggressive. My instinct says I should tell them not to bother, as I will feel embarrassed if they show up and find such a small crowd -- or, worse, everyone already gone. But this feels rather like rescinding the invitation, which I do not want to do.

GENTLE READER: Just because your guests have issued themselves new invitations does not mean that you have to honor them. Your party was for a certain time. Sadly, if they cannot make it, that is their misfortune.

Miss Manners cautions you that allowing them to show up “whenever” would be rewarding bad behavior, however well-intentioned, and virtually ensuring that it continues.

Try saying pleasantly, “Oh, I am afraid that we might not be going that late. But I am sure that we will have another party one day and will try harder to suit your schedule.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My ex-husband and I have been divorced for almost four years. His new wife has now announced their fifth “dating anniversary” via social media.

With simple math, it was obvious to me that they actually did have an affair during our marriage, even though he denied it for years.

He and I are not “friends,” but my youngest child commented on the status, so I saw it in my news feed. Our daughter didn’t realize the timeline conflict, and I did not point it out to her.

I am angry. I am hurt. I thought I was over all the pain.

Is there an appropriate response? Should I confront him? I’m loath to bring up the past, but he really was a jerk. And he’s lied about it for years, too.

GENTLE READER: Etiquette advises you not to respond. So does Miss Manners, who adds her approbation for not explaining the math to your daughter. Your daughter will be doing her own homework on the subject soon enough.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am connected on social media with several out-of-state relatives. During the last election, my uncle posted an article and his opinion about a controversial topic. I wrongfully assumed he brought up the subject with the intent of public discussion.

When I offered a very polite but opposing viewpoint (that much of our family shares), he became so offended that he deactivated his account for several days. He finally returned to social media, saying that he wanted to remain in touch with family and friends.

Wanting to avoid further trouble, I refrained from commenting on any new posts that did not concern a family milestone or event. For several months, we were on civil terms.

He has since, without warning or explanation, completely blocked me. I can’t even find him on the site, but I know from other relatives’ activity that he still has a profile he regularly uses to interact with them.

I’d like to resolve the situation and at least have some communication with him again -- we’re family, after all -- but I’m also afraid of making things worse. Would it be a good idea to contact my aunt or cousins and ask what I’ve done to offend him so, or should I just let things be?

GENTLE READER: Many people these days are making loud, controversial statements with the avowed purpose of provoking a response -- and are then unhappy when they receive one.

Miss Manners cannot explain (or defend) such behavior, but she sees it all around. If you wish to repair the relationship, you must first suspend close inquiry into the rights and wrongs. Write a charming, handwritten apology, hoping that you can avoid political discussions and concentrate on family. This approach is more likely to achieve your goal than attempting to convince your uncle he was wrong, either to be offended or in his political views.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)