DEAR MISS MANNERS: I work at a small company. Ten folks in my office: seven males and three females. Daily, when lunchtime approaches, the males (including our boss) pop into various offices saying, “Who wants to go to lunch today?” -- ALWAYS excluding the female co-workers.

I find this practice extremely sexist and want to scream from the treetops! Their ages are between 28 and 43, not that it should make a difference. Am I being too emotional in being so offended by this practice, or should I speak up?

GENTLE READER: Are you seriously telling Miss Manners that the females are sitting around waiting for the males to invite them out?

Of course you should speak up. Not to berate your colleagues, but to ask them who wants to go to lunch.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Invitations to my grandson’s wedding were sent out a few weeks ago. The envelope contained two invites and an RSVP card. One invite requested our presence at the wedding reception at 6:30 p.m. The other, in a small, open envelope, said “CEREMONY: please join us at 5 p.m.” Same place, same day. The RSVP card, which I already handed to the bride-to-be last week, asked if we were attending, and how many.

I had assumed that all who received invitations, received “all” the invitations. I just found out the other day that many did not receive the one to the ceremony.

Is this something new? Some guests are invited to the ceremony -- same day, same place -- and some have to wait around and just attend the reception? When I discovered this just the other day, I learned that my other son was not invited to the ceremony, even though he and my daughter-in-law are paying to fly in to attend the wedding.

GENTLE READER: You are a young grandmother, Miss Manners gathers. And thus you do not remember that, far from being a new custom, this is an old one that has been abandoned for sensible reasons.

Before most weddings were the huge pageants they are today, held in exotic and usually expensive places, it was not considered offensive to hold a small wedding ceremony and invite guests only to the reception. Or even to invite people to the ceremony, but not the reception. The guests lived in town, and were not devoting their entire day, much less vacation time, to the event.

But now so much more is expected of wedding guests in the way of time, money and travel that excluding them from the ceremony, which could involve stranding them in a strange town, seems insulting.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Please help resolve the following. In an effort to be a “true gentleman,” shouldn’t a man open the door for all ladies in his presence, be it the car door or any other door?

GENTLE READER: Yes, but good luck getting to the car door before the lady hops out. Miss Manners guesses that a scarcity of gentlemen has taught ladies to fend for themselves -- or spend the evening in the parking lot.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a 31-year-old man who works in a midsized office comprised mostly of women. I am the only unmarried and childless man in the office. I am also gay, but not obviously so, and I am generally not lumped in as “one of the girls.”

These are facts that I have used so far in my career to avoid many of the aspects of office culture that do not interest me. However, some obligations are harder to avoid than others.

There will be a baby shower for a co-worker who is a member of my team. Although our team is small, the entire office will be participating in the shower, which will be held in the office during the lunch hour.

Under most circumstances, I would quietly have some food and try to enjoy myself. But unfortunately, the catering will be Thai, and I am severely allergic to peanuts, tree nuts, cilantro and seafood.

I like my co-worker, but I am not a fan of showers of any type, and Thai food is an absolute no for me. I refuse to be the person who demands that others change pre-existing meal plans to accommodate my life-threatening allergies, and I am especially not inclined to do so in this case.

Should I bring my own food to the shower? Or might I feign male ignorance, contribute to the office gift and eat out alone, as per usual?

GENTLE READER: “Forced socialization” at the office is always a bad idea.

However, rather than blame your entire gender, why not feign work obligations instead? If said graciously (“I wish I could attend, but I am afraid that I have gotten behind on the Gramberry account”), it makes a much more valid point about not spending office time engaged in seemingly mandatory social activity. Just make sure that the mother-to-be is not also working on the Gramberry account.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am hosting an informal cocktails and hors d’oeuvres affair for 25 people. I have sufficient glassware for cocktails; however, even if I mixed all of my small plates together, there would not be enough to go around, and the same applies to flatware.

I had thought to use high-quality plastic plates (the ones that look like cut glass) and matching flatware. This would enable my guests to enjoy their food with fresh plates as needed.

However, one person in this group has, in the past, has been critical of a previous hostess for doing the same, saying that using plastic serving ware is tacky. So, should I buy more dishes, pare down my guest list, or stick to my original plan?

GENTLE READER: Mismatched serving ware is perfectly acceptable, and can even be charming. Disinviting guests is not. (Nor, for that matter, is criticizing hosts.)

If you are unable to procure additional plates, then rent some -- or ask close, invited friends if they would not mind lending theirs. Miss Manners assures you that guests will be much more forgiving of contrasting plates than of ones that fall apart in their hands.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Friends of ours invited us to a pancake breakfast at their high school, a fundraiser for the boys’ basketball team. Even though we live in a different school district, we wanted to go because we support our friends, and we really like pancakes.

As we were getting ready to go, my husband emerged wearing our own school colors. His shirt, jacket and ball cap were emblazoned with our school mascot; there was no question where our loyalty lay.

I told him that unless we were going to a sports competition, it was in poor taste to dress like that at another school’s event. He said that at the next pancake breakfast, he will dress however Miss Manners suggests.

GENTLE READER: Why was your husband trying to ruin everyone’s pancakes? Particularly when he is kind enough to say he will follow Miss Manners’ instructions.

You were guests in this school’s house -- and Miss Manners agrees that dressing to show hometown loyalty is somewhat aggressive and impolite. It is also, you might point out, often the reason that tourists get such bad reputations.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a sweet, loving, well-mannered dog. When I am walking her on her leash, strangers look aghast at her, and me, and tell me my dog should be muzzled or on a chain, not a leash. They ask why I am “bringing a dangerous dog out in public,” etc. In case you can’t guess, she is a pit bull.

What would be a polite response?

GENTLE READER: “I can assure you that my dog is not dangerous, and I would never allow her to hurt anyone. Nor,” you may say pointedly, “to approach and insult a stranger unsolicited.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am sick and tired of receiving no response to my text messages! I have recently learned this is called “ghosting,” which leaves one in limbo, never knowing why the other party does not respond.

Perhaps nowadays, people feel entitled to a sense of digital anonymity. They don’t bother to respond because they feel they don’t have to. But I feel we should give others a response to messages we receive via email or text, even if it is just to say “I no longer wish to participate in this discussion.”

Could you please give me a link that I can send to these ill-mannered people that politely tells them what I think of their inconsideration?

GENTLE READER: What makes you think that people who will not even respond to a text a few words long will click on, and read, a whole link?

Texting can produce a false sense of urgency and intimacy. While it is rude to not answer at all, expecting others to do so immediately, or on your time frame, is equally unreasonable.

Miss Manners recommends that if the matter in question in these texts requires a response, you find an alternate means of communication. If that produces similar results -- within a reasonable timeframe -- unfortunately, you may consider that these people are no longer your friends.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)