DEAR MISS MANNERS: My roommate clips his fingernails into the sink and washes the cuttings down the drain. I’ve asked dozens of people over the years, and not a single one has expressed anything less than disgust. Another factor is that it clogs the sink drain, which he takes care of ... eventually.

Now, this is a good friend of mine, and we generally get along really well as roommates. He doesn’t handle confrontation very well, though, and is often resistant to change. So I’ve swallowed it; he doesn’t need the stress over something that really is a minor issue. No big deal.

But it’s still a little ping of irritation in the bathroom once in a while. It just seems so gross and weird to me (and everyone else, apparently). I’m not sure I’m looking for solution, but I’d be interested in your thoughts on the matter.

GENTLE READER: All sorts of disgusting things go down the drain. That is what it is for. Miss Manners does not advise you to get into an argument about the relative disgusting-ness of everything down there.

But surely you must want a solution. Small irritations, repeated often enough, lead to the breakup of civility, if not of households.

And you have two grounds of argument against your roommate’s practice. One is the danger of these clippings clogging the sink. Not being a plumber, Miss Manners is not certain of this possibility.

But there is no doubt that you are annoyed. The outlook is not bright for people who live together in a state of annoyance. This should be the sole grounds on which you appeal to him to stop. Not that it’s “gross and weird,” nor even that when sufficiently provoked, you might turn violent.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My next-door neighbor’s daughter died at just 16 years old. My family and I feel so bad, but what do you say to someone when they are experiencing a child’s death?

I don’t like doing what other people do, as I would like it to be sentimental. Do you have any ideas and what is the appropriate etiquette during a turbulent time like this?

GENTLE READER: Of course you want to be sentimental, in the sense of showing genuine sentiments (as opposed to the exaggerated quality the word often implies). And you don’t want to reel off the mechanical “thoughts and prayers” response that has become so automatic.

Yet the ways to express genuine compassion to the bereaved are conventional. You want them to know that you feel for them, and the greatest comfort is to speak to them of the importance of the person they have lost. Miss Manners cautions you not to be afraid of doing this in the customary ways: letters, visits, flowers, food. Do not try to guess or predict their feelings or offer false comfort. People say such hurtful things -- typically “I know how you feel,” “You’ll have other children” or “It’s time for you to pull yourself together” -- when they try to be original.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m a woman who has done a fair amount of online dating, on a few different sites. After messaging back and forth, arrangements are generally made to have a phone call, assuming both are interested.

I always review the man’s profile before the call, because it may have been several days or longer since I read it. It seems like the polite and prudent thing to do. That way I can mention things that he said, and ask about his job or places he’s traveled.

However, in some cases, I can tell that the man has not done the same, because he is asking me very basic stuff that is in my profile. I don’t expect him to memorize everything or know everything, but doing a little homework shows the other person some respect.

Is there a polite way for me to comment on this? I’m afraid it would sound snarky if I said, “Did you even read my profile?” Or, “Well, Joe, all that information is in my profile.”

GENTLE READER: “As I mentioned in my profile -- sorry if I am repeating myself -- I do love fly fishing and the changing autumn leaves. I think you said in yours that you preferred cheese-rolling on grassy hills?”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I asked my recently widowed neighbor and friend if she would like to come over for a drink. She inquired about the time, and I told her, “about 5 p.m., or whenever you get here.”

She arrived at 5:12 p.m. with some sushi she had purchased. I made her drink of choice and we chatted while we snacked. There was no mention of dinner during our happy hour.

About 6 p.m., I turned on my stove to start cooking. My neighbor asked what I was preparing. I told her, and she finished her drink. That is when she asked my wife, “Will we be eating here or in the dining room?”

Caught off-guard, I did not know what to say. Neither did my wife. But after a moment or two of raised eyebrows my wife said, “In the dining room.”

While I was deboning the chicken breasts, our neighbor came over and grabbed one of the bones from the breast and started chewing on it. We are still speechless. How should we have handled this?

GENTLE READER: “5 p.m. or whenever you get here” is a difficult drinks-only time to maintain when you eat dinner at 6 p.m. As clear as you believe you made your invitation, the timing of it right before a meal was confusing, particularly as you went ahead and prepared it right in front of your guest.

True, there is no excuse for her to gnaw at food uninvited -- even domesticated animals are roundly reprimanded for that -- but as with animals, food that is enticingly laid out in front of them seems logically intended for their consumption.

Miss Manners recommends that you do your level best to regain your speech and set an earlier time for a drinks-only hour next time. And refrain from making dinner in front of guests with whom you don’t plan on enjoying it.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am single. Very often, when I ask married friends or potential friends to meet me for a meal or another event -- either with the spouse or without -- I get an enthusiastic response, followed by, “Let me check with (spouse) to see if we have anything else planned.”

And then I never hear a response back. This happens even when I throw several dates out, or I tell them to let me know what night they are free.

My instinct is to think they really were not interested. I do not follow up, because I do not want to make them uncomfortable. But perhaps they simply got busy and forgot. Either way, my feelings are hurt.

Is there a polite way to address this? Or should I cross these people off my list of potential friends?

GENTLE READER: More likely, their spouses gave them a similarly vague response and they got tired of asking.

While this practice of non-response is clearly rude, Miss Manners recommends that you attempt at least one follow-up before you start eliminating friends: “I hate to nag you about nagging Dirk, but if you are not able to use the concert tickets, I might attempt to nag another friend’s husband. Please let me know.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Since my 48th birthday last year, I have had at least three restaurant clerks put a “senior discount” on my bill without even asking. The standard minimum age for senior discounts is, I believe, 55; however, I am less bothered by the “you look old” assessment than by the guilt over accepting something I don’t officially merit. I do try to correct people when it happens, but they just shrug it off and say, “Keep the discount.”

Wouldn’t the polite approach be to wait for the customer to request the discount herself -- or at least to ask if she wants one, rather than automatically putting it on the bill?

GENTLE READER: At least the restaurant did not issue the discount while saying, “Here you go, young lady!”

Forgive Miss Manners. She finds it necessary to count blessings when it comes to the condescending treatment of senior citizens. Since you are not currently one, you may politely correct these helpful clerks -- resisting the urge to laugh at their youthful folly.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We will be soon be hosting our daughter’s fifth birthday party. We always include food for all attending (children and the accompanying adults). Most parents do not eat at children’s parties, but we have always gotten them to join us for the pizza and cake and absolutely love it!

How do I tell my guests that while they are waiting for the children to finish playing, they can help themselves to coffee/tea/lemonade? The drinks are free and already included in the cost, and we do not have to pay extra. The venue is a family fun center where they will have to walk up to the counters and ask for the drinks.

GENTLE READER: “Please help yourself to drinks at the counter. Tell them you are here for Eliana’s party.” The clerks at the counter, if not the guests, will know exactly what that means.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)