DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m a woman who has done a fair amount of online dating, on a few different sites. After messaging back and forth, arrangements are generally made to have a phone call, assuming both are interested.

I always review the man’s profile before the call, because it may have been several days or longer since I read it. It seems like the polite and prudent thing to do. That way I can mention things that he said, and ask about his job or places he’s traveled.

However, in some cases, I can tell that the man has not done the same, because he is asking me very basic stuff that is in my profile. I don’t expect him to memorize everything or know everything, but doing a little homework shows the other person some respect.

Is there a polite way for me to comment on this? I’m afraid it would sound snarky if I said, “Did you even read my profile?” Or, “Well, Joe, all that information is in my profile.”

GENTLE READER: “As I mentioned in my profile -- sorry if I am repeating myself -- I do love fly fishing and the changing autumn leaves. I think you said in yours that you preferred cheese-rolling on grassy hills?”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I asked my recently widowed neighbor and friend if she would like to come over for a drink. She inquired about the time, and I told her, “about 5 p.m., or whenever you get here.”

She arrived at 5:12 p.m. with some sushi she had purchased. I made her drink of choice and we chatted while we snacked. There was no mention of dinner during our happy hour.

About 6 p.m., I turned on my stove to start cooking. My neighbor asked what I was preparing. I told her, and she finished her drink. That is when she asked my wife, “Will we be eating here or in the dining room?”

Caught off-guard, I did not know what to say. Neither did my wife. But after a moment or two of raised eyebrows my wife said, “In the dining room.”

While I was deboning the chicken breasts, our neighbor came over and grabbed one of the bones from the breast and started chewing on it. We are still speechless. How should we have handled this?

GENTLE READER: “5 p.m. or whenever you get here” is a difficult drinks-only time to maintain when you eat dinner at 6 p.m. As clear as you believe you made your invitation, the timing of it right before a meal was confusing, particularly as you went ahead and prepared it right in front of your guest.

True, there is no excuse for her to gnaw at food uninvited -- even domesticated animals are roundly reprimanded for that -- but as with animals, food that is enticingly laid out in front of them seems logically intended for their consumption.

Miss Manners recommends that you do your level best to regain your speech and set an earlier time for a drinks-only hour next time. And refrain from making dinner in front of guests with whom you don’t plan on enjoying it.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am single. Very often, when I ask married friends or potential friends to meet me for a meal or another event -- either with the spouse or without -- I get an enthusiastic response, followed by, “Let me check with (spouse) to see if we have anything else planned.”

And then I never hear a response back. This happens even when I throw several dates out, or I tell them to let me know what night they are free.

My instinct is to think they really were not interested. I do not follow up, because I do not want to make them uncomfortable. But perhaps they simply got busy and forgot. Either way, my feelings are hurt.

Is there a polite way to address this? Or should I cross these people off my list of potential friends?

GENTLE READER: More likely, their spouses gave them a similarly vague response and they got tired of asking.

While this practice of non-response is clearly rude, Miss Manners recommends that you attempt at least one follow-up before you start eliminating friends: “I hate to nag you about nagging Dirk, but if you are not able to use the concert tickets, I might attempt to nag another friend’s husband. Please let me know.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Since my 48th birthday last year, I have had at least three restaurant clerks put a “senior discount” on my bill without even asking. The standard minimum age for senior discounts is, I believe, 55; however, I am less bothered by the “you look old” assessment than by the guilt over accepting something I don’t officially merit. I do try to correct people when it happens, but they just shrug it off and say, “Keep the discount.”

Wouldn’t the polite approach be to wait for the customer to request the discount herself -- or at least to ask if she wants one, rather than automatically putting it on the bill?

GENTLE READER: At least the restaurant did not issue the discount while saying, “Here you go, young lady!”

Forgive Miss Manners. She finds it necessary to count blessings when it comes to the condescending treatment of senior citizens. Since you are not currently one, you may politely correct these helpful clerks -- resisting the urge to laugh at their youthful folly.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We will be soon be hosting our daughter’s fifth birthday party. We always include food for all attending (children and the accompanying adults). Most parents do not eat at children’s parties, but we have always gotten them to join us for the pizza and cake and absolutely love it!

How do I tell my guests that while they are waiting for the children to finish playing, they can help themselves to coffee/tea/lemonade? The drinks are free and already included in the cost, and we do not have to pay extra. The venue is a family fun center where they will have to walk up to the counters and ask for the drinks.

GENTLE READER: “Please help yourself to drinks at the counter. Tell them you are here for Eliana’s party.” The clerks at the counter, if not the guests, will know exactly what that means.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was checking out at my local supermarket when the woman behind me noticed the price tag on the wine I was buying.

“I’m sure it’s worth $4.99!” she exclaimed. When I turned to look at her, she explained, “I’ve studied wine for 40 years.” She added, by way of consolation, “I’m sure it has alcohol in it.”

I said nothing, but tried to exchange looks with the checkout attendant, thinking the rudeness of the remarks was self-evident. Might something have been said? If so, what?

GENTLE READER: The rudeness was indeed self-evident, as would have been the urge to respond “Please mind your own business.”

Miss Manners prefers a less direct (and more mannerly) approach: An appreciative laugh would have deflated the woman by demonstrating an indifference to the criticism. But if you lack the energy, or the acting ability, aloofness will do.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My soon-to-be ex-wife and I separated a little over a year ago, and are still in the middle of what has turned out to be a messy divorce from a 25-year marriage. Both she and I now have live-in significant others.

She has severed ties with my family completely, but I have remained in contact with her brother and sister-in-law and their grown children. My nephew and his fiancee visited with my girlfriend and me at our home and things were pleasant. We’ve been close for 30 years.

I’ve recently received an invitation to my nephew’s destination wedding addressed to me only. It was stated that it was OK if my girlfriend came to the destination, just not to the ceremony or reception. I’ve learned that my soon-to-be ex received a similar invitation.

While I am honored that I am being asked to attend the ceremony, I am also hurt that I am being asked to leave my girlfriend out. I am conflicted about whether or not to attend. My girlfriend is offended, can’t see how I would consider going, and thinks I should sever relationship ties altogether.

But there is a lot of history between us, and I would like to continue a relationship with my nephew regardless of my ex’s involvement. What do I do?

GENTLE READER: Your nephew’s invitation reminds Miss Manners of King Solomon’s ruling on a certain baby. That judgment was not deemed Solomonic because it was, in itself, a good solution, but because it was a bad one -- the self-evidence of which forced the petitioners into revealing hidden truths.

Your nephew has captured the unpleasant aspect of this famous case. Let us hope it was not his intention to ensure that no one attended. You, your girlfriend, your soon-to-be ex-wife and her boyfriend have all been offended by the assumption that you cannot be counted upon to behave yourselves. The slight of inviting you without your partner is not mitigated by the suggestion that she might be allowed to look in the window as long as she does not actually eat.

If you can merely decline without addressing the issue, perhaps your nephew will acquire wisdom before it is necessary to sever relations.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)