DEAR MISS MANNERS: We received a wedding invitation from my niece’s son addressed “to whom it may concern.”

We met him only once, several years ago, and have never heard from him. We have not heard from his mother, my niece, in about two years. We will not be attending the wedding, as they live in California and we live in Ohio.

Would a card sent with our regrets and best wishes be appropriate to send, without a gift?

GENTLE READER: “To whom it may concern”?

You have no idea how sorely Miss Manners is tempted to say it is no concern of yours. She humbly acknowledges that your solution is the gracious one.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I very much enjoy hosting small dinner parties in our home. Good company is, of course, the reason for these get-togethers, but I also really enjoy making a lovely and creative meal and setting a beautiful table for the people I care about.

I am known as a very good cook and baker, and I am as certain as one can be that it is not false flattery, based both on how quickly invitations are accepted and how often I am begged to cater important events in friends’ lives.

We are frequently asked to join friends at restaurants, but hospitality is never reciprocated. I was told by a frequent guest that she and others in our group feel so guilty about not offering us hospitality, but it is just too intimidating to try to cook for me, after the elegant meals I have been providing for so long.

I was shocked, and felt absolutely terrible! Where on earth did they get the idea that this was a competition? Or that hot dogs on paper plates would not be lovely, combined with good company and lively conversation?

I cook for the love of cooking, and above all for the love of my friends and family! How do I make this right?

GENTLE READER: If they are inviting you to restaurants as their guests, they are reciprocating. But they are not going to realize how offensive their explanation is unless you tell them. They actually think that they are offering you a compliment.

As they seem to be good friends, you should be able to say gently, “You know, it’s not a competition. I enjoy many styles of food, and would be honored to be invited to your house.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: It seems I can hardly open my mouth these days before the person I am talking with says “Got it!” or words to that effect.

I am careful about not telling long and/or boring stories, and I don’t think I drag out my speech, but very often I am being cut short. Is communication only about getting quickly to the point?

I am tired of saying, “Please let me finish.”

GENTLE READER: Then don’t. In fact, don’t say anything.

Miss Manners has found that the best way to deal with people who anticipate what one is going to say is to let them say it and then to refrain from speaking at all, as they seem to want to handle both sides of the conversation. Eventually, they do notice the silence.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My best friend recently texted me that she was going to buy a pregnancy test, but that she was not very excited. I saw her later that evening for a kickball game, where she told me again, “I’m not very excited, but I’m pregnant.”

Since she did not tell me this excitedly or even with a smile, I really didn’t know how she wanted me to react to the news. I told her she should get ready and start preparing for the baby and tell her husband, who I knew would be excited.

A few days later, she sent me a message saying that I had said insensitive things and really hurt her feelings because I wasn’t excited about her being pregnant. I apologized to her and told her that was never my intention, but also explained that because of the manner she told me, I wasn’t sure I was supposed to be excited.

Is there a way I could have known that she expected me to be excited about her news?

GENTLE READER: This was a trap. Your conflicted friend wanted you to have the feelings that she did not yet have the presence of mind to muster.

Miss Manners recommends that you be forgiving and chalk the discrepancy up to early pregnancy hormones. But be mindful that your indulgence does not turn into extended emotional misuse -- or perpetual free babysitting.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: If you are walking in a narrow hallway (residential) and another person enters the hallway out of a room, should that person step back into the room or shove their way past you?

GENTLE READER: It depends. Which of you is bigger?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I used to be close with a girlfriend of mine. We did a lot of things together like going to concerts, and she would stay at my apartment.

She ended up getting a job that takes up a lot of her time, so we grew apart. We kept in touch now and then on social media. She got a boyfriend somewhere in that time and never told me. All I saw was a text that said, “I got engaged.”

I didn’t know she was dating, let alone getting married. She invited me to the wedding, but if I haven’t seen her in over two years, I probably won’t see her ever again. I want to send a card. I don’t want to be cheap, but I don’t want to give money. Is giving a card without money mean?

GENTLE READER: Although no one seems to be listening, Miss Manners will never tire of asserting that money is not a polite wedding present -- and presents are not required if you do not attend the wedding.

But she is further baffled by your anger at your friend’s attempt to acknowledge your past relationship by inviting you to her wedding -- interpreting it instead as extortion. She hopes that at the very least, your response will include your best wishes, acknowledgment of your past closeness and regrets for not being able to attend -- and not your current feelings, which seem to be, “Happy Wedding. See You Never.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My brother-in-law and his family have far-right political leanings that are not in line with many of our friends and my family, including my husband. On all occasions, even at a recent memorial, my brother-in-law dresses in jeans, camouflage gear and an NRA “gun rights” baseball cap.

I am hostessing a wedding for my son and future daughter-in-law at our home. How do I tell this person that this attire is not welcome at the wedding?

It does not appear my sister-in-law understands how to guide him in this area, and naturally he does not read the wedding invitation instructions, nor care to. Any guidance is appreciated to navigate this issue without creating family drama!

GENTLE READER: Clearly, that is not a concern for your in-laws, who seem to be actively courting it.

“I do hope, for the sake of our happy couple, that we can put aside any political statements” is what you need to say. If they disregard you and come dressed for combat anyway, Miss Manners recommends that you ignore them and greet them as you would any other (properly attired) guest. This will likely annoy them much more than the chance to argue their politics.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A longtime friend and I had a falling out, with responsibility equally split between us. I moved away for 15 years with no communication.

Now I have moved back, and I ran into this friend face to face. We chatted pleasantly and she asked for my phone number. I was hesitant to give it to her, but to avoid being rude, I did. Four years later, I received, via the U.S. mail, a computer-printed invitation to dinner at her home.

My husband and I have no interest in rekindling a friendship, so I declined via handwritten note. In my note, I provided no reason for the decline, only thanking her for the invitation, regretting we could not attend, and wishing her the best. My husband said I should have provided a reason for the decline. There was no reason other than not wishing to see her again. Should I have made up a reason?

GENTLE READER: Sigh. Miss Manners has made it so easy to avoid any unpleasant social situations, if only helpful people like your husband would not try to assist. If we all could just stick to the phrase: “I am so sorry, but I am afraid I cannot attend” and not follow it up with excuses of real or invented sickness, dislike of the hosts, dislike of the guests, better use of funds, not feeling like it, a better invitation, itchy feet, a bad hair day or preferring to watch TV, Miss Manners would happily allow you to indulge in all of those things without remorse.

Please tell your husband that your answer was sufficient -- and perfectly true. A made-up excuse would not be. And following it up with an “honest” explanation would not only unnecessarily hurt your already-former friend’s feelings, but likely rekindle communication. Neither of which you -- or your husband -- claims to want.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)