DEAR MISS MANNERS: I work from home and live in a city known for vacations. I have a friend who visits every year so that we may attend a yearly sporting event on a particular weekend.

This year, she arrived a few days before the event, and gave no indication of when she planned on leaving. She stayed for a full week after the event (she does not work). This disrupted my work schedule, as she had nothing to do. She tried to be quiet, but sat next to me reading as I tried to work.

Is there a delicate way to inform her that, next year, I would like her visit to be of less duration? I do not want to offend her, as she is an old friend, but an unlimited visit is difficult.

GENTLE READER: Judging from the number of Gentle Readers who are stuck like this, it does not seem to be widely known that it is hosts, not guests, who determine the limits of a visit.

This is best made clear at the time of the invitation: “I’m so glad that you can come for the game weekend. Come Friday, and I hope you can stay until Monday morning.”

Miss Manners knows that it is harder when the guest is already planted there, but it is not impossible: “It’s been wonderful having you here, and I hate to see our little holiday come to an end. But it’s high time I got back to my routine, as I’m sure you must want to get back to yours.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I just went to the doctor for an X-ray. As I returned my paperwork to the receptionist, I was stunned to find a glass jar labeled “Tips,” much like one might find in a coffee shop.

Miss Manners, what in the world is this? Is this normal now?

GENTLE READER: Only if you do not make the common mistake of believing that whatever is normal is acceptable. Your doctor can tell you about all kinds of normal human functions that are best not flaunted. Better yet, your lawyer can tell you about normal human impulses that are best stifled.

Greed is normal, Miss Manners acknowledges. But this manifestation of it is unprofessional.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: If a married man is sick in the hospital and an old female friend from high school, whom he hasn’t seen in 40 years and was never romantically involved with, but who has recently gotten back in touch with him via social media, finds out about the hospitalization and sends him a “get well soon” package consisting of a teddy bear with three balloons attached, would that be considered inappropriate?

GENTLE READER: The gentleman is 43 years old, Miss Manners gathers.

And while she is at it, she is guessing that you are the patient’s wife and do not care for this show of attention. It is beyond her powers to imagine why you should object to his receiving good wishes, even in childish form, from an old friend. She cannot help you by declaring this improper.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband’s parents are visiting soon. How do I prepare for their three-day stay?

How should I prepare my home, how often should I cook, should I buy new sheets, plan activities? Should I buy them gifts? I do not want to look like I am trying too hard.

GENTLE READER: Why not? In-laws love that sort of thing.

Three days is a good amount of time to make things special for them, but also not to schedule every minute. Plan to make most meals, if possible, but leave room for them to invite you out or make their own plans. Suggest a few activities that might be to their liking, but similarly do not over-schedule.

Presents are unnecessary, although tokens like chocolates on their beds, or items related to the city or their interests, are always charming. Sheets need merely be clean, not new.

In short, Miss Manners recommends that you make every reasonable effort to make your in-laws’ visit comfortable, trying your best to ignore critiques -- or to seek them.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was dining out with two friends, and about halfway through the meal, one of them got up and went to sit with a couple in another room. (This is a place she frequents and she knows many of the other patrons.)

She briefly returned to finish her meal and pay her bill, but took her dessert out with her to the other room. When I left with the friend who had stayed with me, we all said goodnight.

What I’m wondering is: 1. Is this as rude as I think it is? and 2. Was there anything that should have or could have been said?

I’m not planning to go out with her again anytime soon, and it’s a shame -- I would have liked to continue to socialize with her.

GENTLE READER: Unfortunately, she does not seem to share the sentiment, particularly if there was no follow-up apology. If one is forthcoming or this person expresses a desire to see you again and you are willing, Miss Manners suggests that you tell her you will choose another place -- a restaurant less distracting than the last one.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When we travel and are houseguests, we try to be guests that they want back. One thing we do is strip our beds, either putting our dirty laundry in their laundry room or folding it neatly at the end of the bed, next to the blankets.

Our last two houseguests left and never did this. This left a lot of extra work for us. Am I assuming this should be done? Are there new etiquette rules that we should be aware of as houseguests?

GENTLE READER: “New” etiquette is generally an excuse for rudeness and does not set the standard -- unless it is coming from Miss Manners herself.

Perhaps with the invention of paid shared-housing apps, guests have mistaken financial transactions with being a guest. Proper etiquette is still to do as you have been and make as little work as possible for your hosts.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: After several years and several thousand dollars invested in treatments, my husband and I have accepted that we are highly unlikely to conceive children naturally. We always planned to adopt and/or foster children later in life; however, this development led us to move up our timeline.

We have been practicing answering inquires regarding whether we have children with a simple, “Not yet.” However, some relatives, friends and even a few acquaintances (such as co-workers in my small office) know we are experiencing infertility.

Now, when people learn we are in the process of becoming foster/adoptive parents, we are often met with unsolicited stories of miraculous pregnancies that occurred once a couple “stopped trying so hard” and decided to adopt. Typically, the subjects of the story are a cousin’s dentist’s nephew, or some such distant acquaintance. Sometimes the stories are told without any awareness of my infertility -- perhaps folks assume, due to my age, that our pursuing adoption must mean I am infertile.

We believe these people mean well and generally don’t know what else to say when faced with the issue of infertility, which is still a bit of a taboo topic. We believe they want to impart a sense of hope and perhaps also ease their own discomfort.

However, these stories tend to have the opposite effect on me. I have worked hard to cope with the grief of infertility. Some days and situations are very difficult for me, but I do my best to put on a brave face and remember the world does not revolve around my inability to reproduce.

My typical response to these miraculous pregnancy-after-adoption tales has been to smile, nod, and say something along the lines of “How wonderful for your relative/friend/dentist’s nephew.” I find this to be a better response than to roll my eyes and groan, although doing so would more accurately convey my internal feelings.

I’m afraid if I wish to discuss our plans for adoption, or my infertility (which I believe to be important, in order to lessen the taboo and the sense of isolation so many infertile individuals feel), I must also endure these stories. However, I wonder whether Miss Manners approves of my kind-but-not-inviting-further-discussion response.

GENTLE READER: It is not your duty to promote awareness at the cost of your privacy. Politely refusing to discuss your plans except amongst trusted intimates is undoubtedly your best defense. Acknowledgment, with no further encouragement for those who offer advice or share stories, is perfectly acceptable.

Meanwhile, Miss Manners is left to wonder what response these helpful bystanders hope to elicit -- and to ponder the icky and contradictory implications of “not trying so hard.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Being a moderate aficionado, when you are asked to bring an appropriate wine pairing for the appetizers and main course at a partial potluck, is the wine considered a gift to the hostess to become a part of her cellar? Or, like the dessert brought by other guests, is it to be opened and enjoyed by all?

GENTLE READER: Once you bring an item to be consumed at another person’s house, it stays there, whether or not actual consumption takes place. If you are worried about guests not being able to enjoy the wine in your presence, Miss Manners recommends that on this occasion, you become slightly less an aficionado.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)