DEAR MISS MANNERS: My son’s daughter’s mother (they never married) invited my family to my granddaughter’s second birthday dinner at her apartment. I do not want to attend, due to cruel and harsh words she has said to my son. My son has paid child support (more than asked) and has been an attentive father to his daughter.
I don’t wish to be in the same environment with someone who calls my son “sperm donor” in public.
GENTLE READER: That does sound unpleasant.
However, the prospect of rarely seeing your granddaughter would likely be more so. Miss Manners fears that if you turn down the invitation, that may be the result. Go to the party and be pleasant. The reward will be witnessing your granddaughter’s birthday and being a full participant in her life -- and maybe even modeling good behavior in the face of bad, for her mother.