DEAR MISS MANNERS: My boyfriend’s friend and I have been social media friends for years. He has recently become engaged, so I wanted to message him about getting together with him and his new fiancee.
However, I discovered he has deleted me as a friend. I’m ordinarily not affected by such things. In this case, however, I am quite hurt. I really liked my boyfriend’s friend, and I am not sure what happened. Should I leave things as they are or have my boyfriend ask?
GENTLE READER: The etiquette around “unfriending” is still evolving, a process impeded both by the nomenclature and the indirectness of the interaction.
It can mean anything from a deliberate slap across the face to an inattentive address book edit. On some platforms, it may not even be a deliberate act, but one initiated by a computer doing its own spring cleaning.
In cases where intent is unclear, etiquette, as a rule, adopts the least insulting interpretation possible -- a reasonable, if un-modern, approach. Miss Manners therefore sees nothing wrong with expressing your good wishes and invitation through other means, be it a handwritten note or a willing boyfriend.