DEAR MISS MANNERS: As people are now telecommuting to work, as I do, how does one avoid unwanted people at one’s door?

In my job, I have to use extreme concentration and I feel that I should not be interrupted in the privacy of my own home. I had a custom sign made and posted on my door that says, “By Appointment Only; Absolutely No Soliciting.” That was the most polite thing I could come up with.

However, I find that people still ring my doorbell asking things like, “Would you like to sell your car?” (If I did, there would have been a “For Sale” sign on it.)

In my job, I can lose many thousands of dollars if an important call is interrupted by the door, so I get quite stressed. “No trespassing” signs don’t help, either. I can’t ignore the doorbell for wondering if it’s an emergency. I would enclose the entire yard with a locked fence, except I have to have deliveries made, and I could not carry them up my steps. How would you handle this?

GENTLE READER: By first taking a deep breath.

As a longtime telecommuter (so long that the term did not exist when she began), Miss Manners is sympathetic to your problem. But if you commonly have emergencies that show up at your doorstep, she wonders what you did before you worked at home.

Now, at least, you can smell or hear when the house catches fire, something that was probably not possible in the office. A workspace out of visual sight of the front door, and a quiet doorbell, should solve your problem.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: An organization that I am part of raises funds for scholarships and awards for students in the local school district. In 32 years, we have given over $500,000 to students.

About six years ago, I noticed that the organization no longer received a thank-you in any form -- written, emailed or text -- for the scholarships or awards from any student. Many members of my committee tell me that thanking anyone for a gift is no longer something students do. I have said that a thank-you for a gift is still the proper way to go.

I am seriously wondering if it would be proper to remind the students that thanking people for their gifts is still in vogue. Or would that be considered tacky in today’s society?

GENTLE READER: Expecting thanks for a favor bestowed is never unreasonable, or subject to fashion, whether or not it is commonly given.

The questions, then, Miss Manners thinks, are: 1. To whom thanks should be addressed, and 2. How to change students’ behavior without being rude.

One thanks a person, which in a corporate setting would generally mean the boss. But charities have donors, to whom the students can be asked to write. By giving the students a specific donor to thank, you will benefit the institution (whose donors will be pleased), improve the recipients’ manners -- and avoid the ban against demanding your own thanks.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I started a new job, and they want me to fill out an emergency contact form. But I am in a nuclear family with a bunch of people who can’t even help themselves. My friends have their own problems.

I always chuckle when I have to fill out this sort of form, because I’m usually the one who helps everyone else. Who on earth am I supposed to pick for an emergency contact for me?!

GENTLE READER: Not being able to serve as your emergency contact herself -- and not knowing your friends or relatives -- Miss Manners cannot solve your immediate problem.

But she does have thoughts about the larger question of how such requests -- which are now made not just by preschools and employers, but also by social clubs, alarm system companies, gyms and even the occasional website -- are to be treated.

She appreciates the implication that, in an emergency, the form-holder has either the desire or the ability to contact someone on your behalf. She hopes that reflects the reality more than had the box been labeled “next of kin.”

With some exceptions, most such requests require only someone who, if unable to handle the emergency, will take responsibility for finding someone who will. A more stringent standard should be applied to such requests from medical practitioners, whose definition of an emergency may require someone in whose judgment you have greater trust.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a left-handed student, and wanted to ask about seating arrangements. Perhaps you can answer this for people in college.

In a seminar class, we use the small desks with tops that attach to the right side of the chair. There are usually a few “left-handed” desks with the writing surface on the opposite side.

However, in my last class, I realized I’d taken the only such desk because I’d arrived early. Is it proper for me to stay in that seat, or offer to alternate seats with the other left-handed students on different class days? It’s difficult to take notes when the writing surface is on the “wrong” side.

Alternately, since there are no people with disabilities in the class, would it be wrong for one of us to take the classroom’s one table designated for that use and use it until (and if) the classroom gets more left-handed desks?

GENTLE READER: That you have not pleaded your left-handedness as a medical condition -- or worse, a disability -- pleases Miss Manners. Your failure to do so does not diminish the reasonableness of asking the school for some accommodation on the grounds of being a recurring customer.

But it avoids the moral indignation that too often accompanies the realization that you will have to speak with the professor to work out a solution. Any and all of your suggestions should be discussed and implemented, even if Miss Manners is perplexed to hear of a student taking notes by hand instead of on a laptop.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m almost in tears and I’m not even the one affected.

I have a difficult cousin who is getting married. She has no friends. No one is standing up for her, there are no showers or festivities, and the one abortive attempt at one was canceled because no one would come. I’ve had trouble with this person in the past, but I wouldn’t wish this on an enemy, much less a relative.

As I reflected on what I could do for her (I’m throwing a small party in her honor and prevailing on my own friends to come meet the bride), it occurred to me that I am surrounded by lonely friends, relatives and acquaintances who are living like virtual hermits. They only happen to brush up against other people at work or grocery shopping, often not even then, and they are depressed about it. I’m hardly a popular person, but I try to make introductions.

What can the somewhat-more-popular people do to relieve the friendlessness of the less popular people they know and care about? What has happened to society, Miss Manners?

Don’t worry, I won’t call it a shower when I fete my cousin, the bride. I may be an unwashed heathen about most things, but that much was drummed into my head.

GENTLE READER: Some of the things that happened to society:

Screen time.

Longer work hours.

Obligatory socializing with colleagues.

The shirking of guest responsibilities -- including answering invitations, showing up and reciprocating -- resulting in an unwillingness to entertain.

The shirking of host responsibilities, so that those who do entertain rarely have their hospitality reciprocated.

The notion that any gathering must be about an occasion (such as a birthday, graduation, marriage or birth), and one that involves presents for the hosts.

The redefinition of “friends” to describe strangers.

The elevation of the importance of the menu to the extent that attempting to provide a communal meal, even within a family, means catering to a bewildering variety of requirements and preferences.

Bless you for trying to fix this. It will not be easy. All of the above behaviors will be working against you.

But Miss Manners has a suggestion -- one that she has plucked out of the distant past. At its grandest, it was called keeping a salon; the more modest version was having “a day” when one would be “at home.” In both cases, the idea was the same: making it known that you have a regular time when your acquaintances may drop in without notice.

For example, Saturday or Sunday afternoon, so they might stop in after their chores or before going out for the evening. It would not be mealtime, so you could serve only soft drinks and cookies, or perhaps crudites and prosecco.

At first, you would invite a wide assortment of people from different aspects of your life. But then you could make it known that this was a weekly (or monthly) event, when they needn’t commit themselves, but would always find a welcome. Many will probably veer off, but those who find it interesting will soon be introducing others. And acquiring friends.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)