DEAR MISS MANNERS: My boss asked me and three co-workers to meet her at a different work location at noon to do some testing on new software. We were to stay there for the remainder of the workday, joining a group of people who had already been there for several hours.

When we arrived at noon, our boss was out getting lunch for everyone in the room -- everyone except the four of us, that is. When she got back at about 12:15, lunches were distributed and everyone ate in front of us. Our boss didn’t ask us if we had already eaten, nor did we mention lunch or lack thereof.

Granted, we were never promised lunch, but wouldn’t basic manners dictate that we should have been offered lunch, considering the time of day that we were asked to arrive? Or am I wrong to feel slighted?

GENTLE READER: With the growing number of ways in which even well-meaning bosses can insult employees while providing lunch, Miss Manners would have thought they would have long since followed the example of zookeepers.

This is not as simple as posting signs not to feed the employees. Like feeding time at the zoo -- when the animals are expected to work through their meals -- the boss should provide the food.

Both sides will have to be reasonable about agreeing when a schedule precludes a normal meal break, taking into consideration such things as local custom, the length of the workday, health and safety, and advance notice of the schedule. That said, few employees object to a boss who errs on the side of extra provisioning. Having offered lunch to the other employees, your boss should have made the same offer to you, which you would then be free to accept or turn down.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: While seeking a contractor for a small home renovation project, I emailed someone my neighbor had recommended. They are good friends.

The contractor wrote back that he’d be happy to take on the project, but the rate he quoted seemed very high. After spending some time on his website, I realized why: He is a principal in his firm; there are more junior-level associates whose hourly rate is half as expensive.

My renovation project is really very small. Is there any polite way to request that he pass me on to one of his cheaper colleagues?

GENTLE READER: That you mentioned the friendship between your neighbor and the contractor makes Miss Manners suspect that you are concerned that it imposes an additional burden on you that would not be present in a simple business transaction.

This is not so. On the contrary, it provides a solution. Explain to the contractor that while you would love to engage his firm, the job is really too small to require someone of his level of experience. Conclude with what you would have said in a purely business transaction: that the quote exceeds your budget.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is “What are you doing?” a polite question?

I have had strangers and acquaintances alike ask me this question, and it puts me off-balance every time. One roommate made a habit of it when she found me at my computer, which prompted me to make strained and useless attempts to explain my work to her, somehow feeling I had to justify the use of my time.

I also recall an encounter on a farm I worked on, when a newly arrived intern I had not yet met asked me (without preamble) what I was doing as I removed my bike from a shed. Miss Manners, I almost felt she was accusing me of stealing. (This was a highly unlikely interpretation given the circumstances, and she did not admit to any such thought after hearing my answer.)

Am I overly sensitive, or does Miss Manners perhaps agree that “What are you doing?” (at least phrased so bluntly) is a question properly reserved for those with a particular right or need to know?

GENTLE READER: Your vehement response to an apparently innocuous question raises Miss Manners’ own curiosity about what you are doing. She will, however, refrain from asking, if you promise to assume, going forward, that your questioners’ motives are not sinister or critical.

It is not always a polite question, but it is usually meant as a casual one, and your answer can be equally so: “Oh, I’m on the computer” or “I’m getting out my bicycle.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a 30-year-old woman who has been dealing with debilitating skin issues, the one most hindering being a severe sensitivity to scent -- specifically, excessive cologne and perfume, to the point where I will break out in a rash and asthma symptoms. This has led me to leave a job I love, and my apartment.

I avoid the big department stores when out, but occasionally when out in public, if someone is drenched in scent (not just a spritz), I have a bad reaction. I try to just take myself out of the situation. On occasion, those individuals have made rude remarks about my quick exit and take it personally when I about-face.

I am wondering what is a polite way to handle the situation. (I also believed it was not polite to drench oneself in perfume or cologne, even before I had these issues.) Should I explain their own lack of respect for others in general, or just keep walking away and take my licks?

GENTLE READER: Unless you are making faces at the fragrant offenders, Miss Manners wonders that they take a stranger’s departure personally. But as any explanation would require remaining in range, she prefers that your quick exit remain unexplained. You might, however, attempt to disguise it better, perhaps by seeing someone in the distance or looking as if you just realized you left the gas on at home.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was dating a gentleman for a short time. Four dates, and then I decided that I did not care to see him anymore. I met him through my work, and I see him briefly every morning, because he has a daily pick-up at my office.

One day, as he left the office, he handed me a beautiful piece of jewelry without any comment. I was taken off guard.

He has not asked me out or given me any indication that he wants to see me. The next day when I saw him, I asked him why he gave it to me, and he said he wanted me to have it.

I said that we were hardly talking to each other. He responded, “We are now.”

GENTLE READER: You mean that you kept the jewelry? Then you get to keep the gentleman who gave it to you.

That is the reasoning behind a rule that probably no one except Miss Manners remembers: that a lady does not accept jewelry from any gentleman, whether she likes him or not, if she is not related to him or engaged to become so.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Where is the correct place for one or two egg cups for soft-boiled eggs in a breakfast place setting? Where is the egg spoon placed? And once the egg has been eaten, where should one leave the spoon?

So far, I have always placed the egg cup(s) to the upper left side of the plate and the spoon to the right of the knife and, once the egg was eaten, laid the spoon on my plate.

GENTLE READER: Do you mind moving that egg cup to the center of the plate beneath it, where it should have been in the first place? Miss Manners is a bit nervous about making soft-boiled eggs, which tend to be slippery, take a longer trip than necessary.

Thank you. She feels better.

Being small, the egg spoon can arrive on the right side of the plate as well as leave on it, but it can also be placed to the right of the knife -- if you even need a full-sized knife at breakfast, rather than a butter knife, which would arrive on the butter plate.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My friend was supposed to get married six years ago, but the wedding was canceled. I still have the bridesmaid’s dress I was supposed to wear (something I would never wear post-wedding -- a satin, strapless, dark purple, floor-length gown).

She is no longer with the former groom, and has been in a relationship for three years with a divorced man who says he will never marry again. How long must I keep this gown? Or may I go ahead and sell it to a future prom queen?

GENTLE READER: Your friend changed her mind about whom she wanted to live with, and you expect her to be loyal to a dress?

But you are certainly faithful. Miss Manners is astonished that you let it take up space in your closet for six years, and not only condones your getting rid of it, but urges you to do so.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)