DEAR MISS MANNERS: We have a co-worker who likes to sample our beverages without asking. She will just grab the drink and take a few big gulps directly from the straw. Sometimes, she’ll remove the plastic lid of the drink and slurp from the cup itself. The first time it happened, we were shocked, but now it’s become an almost daily activity for her.

The co-worker it most often happens to once blurted out quickly, as the beverage thief was about to sip her drink, “Oh, I feel like I may be coming down with something ... you don’t want my germs!” To which the offending co-worker replied, “Oh, that’s OK. I have a really strong immune system” then proceeded to slurp away.

The catch? We all work in the health care field! We’ve tried being totally direct with the beverage thief by saying, “Stop drinking our drinks!” But the beverage thief just laughs it off like we’re joking. Honestly, it’s such a strange issue to have as professionals in our 40s, but we are really at a loss here.

Aside from outfitting our beverages with sophisticated alarm devices, keeping our drinks by our sides at all times (not feasible at our job, as we move around quite a bit and are not stationed in one place throughout the day), or lacing our beverages with pickle juice, we don’t know how to handle this situation.

GENTLE READER: If you are willing to consider lacing beverages with pickle juice, then Miss Manners infers that you are willing to surrender a few drinks to solve the problem.

Very well. Next time the co-worker helps herself, give her the drink. When she protests, politely refuse to take it back, explaining that you are probably overreacting, but your training about the spread of germs is so ingrained that you just cannot overcome it. You may even resort to leaving the area, without taking the drink, as a way of indicating that it is now hers. Eventually, the message will sink in.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I see two service providers fairly regularly. In one instance, the provider canceled an appointment due to a family emergency. In the second instance, the provider had an obvious injury.

My reaction on greeting each at the next appointment was to proceed with business without calling attention to the emergency or the injury. My feeling is that we are not friends, and they most likely do not wish to share personal information with every client they see.

I do, however, feel that I may be perceived as cold to not inquire into their well-being. How should I handle a situation like this in the future?

GENTLE READER: Whether your providers are in the habit of sharing personal information with every client, the first provider has done so with you. It is therefore not a question of respecting privacy. Miss Manners sees no harm in the civility of a polite follow-up inquiry -- assuming that your provider will not take it as an invitation to use the appointment to discuss his problems instead of yours. By contrast, the injured provider has not invited personal inquiries, and you are therefore right not to inquire.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Does etiquette have any guidance for the chronic mistake-maker?

I am 40 years old, and I have spent most of my life losing items seconds after they leave my hands, making wrong turns, forgetting names, and being lost for words when polite replies are most needed. These things inconvenience others and cause me embarrassment.

I nearly always apologize when others are affected, but when taking an extra 20 minutes to leave the house because I am still searching for my keys and wallet becomes a daily occurrence, is there a position I can hold in regard to the most frequently affected parties other than that of a constantly apologizing person?

GENTLE READER: Apologizing is etiquette’s way of making mistakes right, but there is no provision for a bulk discount.

This is not an oversight. There is no good way to announce your intent to inconvenience your friends and relatives on a daily basis without implying that you have given up trying not to do so.

Miss Manners appreciates that you have not made a quasi-medical excuse for what you admit to be mistakes, but you do seem resigned. If you cannot correct the behavior, then an apology is a minor additional commitment of time. The recipient will appreciate the gesture -- and also understand if the apology is not extensive.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Sometimes, when calling on the phone for some kind of customer support, I am connected to a person who can barely speak English, and it is almost impossible to understand what they are trying to say. What would be a good way to request another person to speak to, without being rude? This happens more often than not.

GENTLE READER: Etiquette demands that you make a reasonable effort to be patient with someone who is trying, in good faith, to be understood. But you cannot be expected to read minds. After the second or third request to repeat what was said -- and perhaps an apology for your own difficulties in understanding -- Miss Manners gives you permission to ask, “Would it be possible to speak with someone else? I’m having some trouble understanding what’s being said.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I don’t have anything against animals. In fact, my husband and I generously support our local humane society. I just don’t want pets in my house. This seems to offend some of my friends and family members, who take their dogs with them wherever they go. Am I wrong not to want dogs on my furniture, rugs and scratching up my hardwood floors? Please give me some advice as to how to convey my feelings without offending them.

GENTLE READER: However reasonable Miss Manners may agree that it is that uninvited guests not scratch up your floors, it is the contrary opinion of your guests that is causing problems. What you can both agree on is the importance that their pets be protected from harm. Explain with great concern that pet safety is not something you can guarantee in your home as, not being a pet owner, your house cannot be made adequately pet-friendly.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Friends of mine decided to adopt a child from Africa. I applauded this, as children all around the world need good homes. They are nice people, and will make good parents.

Soon after they announced their plans to adopt, they began fundraising on social media and via mail to pay for the adoption. They complained about the high cost, asked for prayers, asked for money, sold coffee, bread and magazines, and sent out mail asking for donations.

I was put off. While I agreed that their adopting was a great idea, I don’t know that they should ask friends to pay for it. I happen to know that they can adopt a child of any age completely for free through the county. As they are close friends, as they were vocally concerned about the cost, and as I thought they might not be aware of this alternate option, I mentioned it to them.

They thanked me for the information, but told me they wouldn’t consider it, as their “hearts were in Africa.” I dropped it, and moved on.

I am wondering if their requests are appropriate. Additionally, must I donate? I would rather not, despite the fact that I admire their decision to adopt. Since they are voluntarily choosing the more expensive option, I feel they should carry the cost and not put their friends in an awkward situation.

GENTLE READER: Your friends handled your suggestion with tact. Thanks and the decision not to follow your advice are the polite way of saying that whom they adopt is none of your business. And you accepted that as such.

But wait -- they are asking you to buy into the business. That does not mean that you get to vote how to run it. But it does mean that you should feel no compunction about not complying.

Certainly it is admirable of them to adopt a child. It will be admirable of them to feed and clothe and educate this child, and you already know that they expect others to help with their costs. But you need to decide whether assisting them would be the best use of whatever charitable money you have at your disposal.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Can you please tell me if it is polite to say “Nice to see you” to someone you have just met for the first time? Shouldn’t you say “Nice to meet you” instead?

GENTLE READER: Actually, neither. Miss Manners may be the last person on Earth to say “How do you do?” (a statement, not a question, despite the question mark) but that is the correct response to an introduction. The idea seems to be that the niceness may follow, but loses its value when offered on credit.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is there a certain time frame when thank-you notes should be received?

GENTLE READER: However long it takes the post office, plus the 20 minutes immediately following the receipt of the present. Miss Manners would allow a week for the writing of such letters if she did not know that you would therefore never get around to it.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)