DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have two male coworkers who insist that men do not need to wash their hands every time they use the bathroom, but only if they are making a number two (shall I politely say) or if they are going to lunch.

I say, everyone should wash their hands every time they use the restroom, for proper hygiene. Not just for themselves, but for every other person in the office.

GENTLE READER: Not being a medical professional, Miss Manners’ insights into hand-washing are of limited value. The hygiene-of-the-office conversation, however, is her area, and on this she has a definite opinion: Inquiries into the bathroom practices of co-workers are decidedly unsanitary. If such issues must be addressed, management can do so through posted signs.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A very dear friend of mine recently married, and his wife and I have struck up a friendship as well. They often invite me to their home for dinners or visits.

Several times, I have been horrified by the hostess placing her bare feet on the dinner table, so much so that it’s hard to have a conversation with her while it’s happening. She has never done it WHILE we are eating, but it’s impossible to eat without thinking about her habit.

It is her house, and I can’t say anything about how she should conduct herself in her own home, especially when she’s hosting me. However, it makes me terribly uncomfortable and seems rude on her part. Is there any proper way to address this, or should I simply keep silent? I have no idea what I would say if I could say anything at all.

GENTLE READER: That it is rude to correct the manners of another person, does not mean you are entirely without options. Find a moment, in a private discussion with your friend, to mention how much you adore his wife, after which you may express amusement over how shocking some people no doubt find this particular habit. Ideally, your friend will deal with the situation himself. But Miss Manners realizes that it is also possible he will be equally amused and confess that this is what made him fall in love with her.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My good friend and I simply adore book signings. Recently she had a baby, and when I invited her to a book signing, she responded that it’ll be “the baby’s first signing!” It will be right at the baby’s bedtime, and I don’t want to be rude to other attendees. Is it rude of me to try to discourage her from bringing a 6-month-old to a book signing?

GENTLE READER: Whether or not it would be rude, Miss Manners questions if it will not be ineffective and unnecessary.

As someone who has attended one or two book signings, she recognizes that they generally provide more ways to escape or take aside an unruly infant than, say, a sit-down dinner. She recommends presuming that the mother will contain unwanted outbursts. But if you cannot make that presumption, express concern that the baby might not find it as interesting as those who have already learned to read.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband tends to be much more fastidious in terms of cleaning up than I am. I am by no means messy, but do sometime leave a dish or two in the sink to come back to later. I work at home and often I am eating quickly, and will place my breakfast or lunch dishes in the sink to deal with when I am done working. Or I may finish a snack and then want to do a load of laundry, finish another task, or even just finish the chapter of the book I am reading before washing the dishes.

My husband, on the other hand, is someone who washes a dish IMMEDIATELY after using it. He even washes all the dishes used to prep dinner before sitting down to eat, resulting in cold food.

There are times where I will leave a few dishes in the sink, with every intention of coming back to wash them later. In the interim though, my husband will have his own few dishes to wash, and he will wash those but leave mine in the sink. He claims that it is rude of me to assume someone else will clean up after me, which I have explained is never the case!

I feel that it is a bigger slap in the face, and intentionally rude, to wash his own plate but leave mine in the sink. Yes, I left it there with every intention to wash it myself later, and will, but would it really kill you to just wash the cup that happens to be sitting in the sink too? If he ever happens to leave something in the sink, I wash it, no problem, since I feel that is just the polite thing to do.

I know you’ll tell me to just wash my dishes as I go, but am I really being rude and selfish? Or is he being rude as he tries to prove his point to me?

GENTLE READER: Were the dishes capable of independent thought, it would be to them that Miss Manners would extend her sympathy, as they are the only innocent party in the room. “We just, please, want someone to wash us,” they plead.

But no, Miss Manners, is not going to tell you that you must clean every dish in your own home as soon as you have finished using it. Whether your husband has found a way to indicate his disagreement at this arrangement, Miss Manners does not know. It is not rude to leave the occasional dish -- assuming, as you assert, that it was not your intention to thereby leave the task to your husband. But if you do not mean him to do it, then you cannot chastise him for not doing so.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What are your thoughts on someone throwing a retirement party and selling tickets to attend?

GENTLE READER: That invitation recipients might think there is a more rewarding way to spend their entertainment budget.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a 25-year-old law student at a school that is not nearly as competitive and cutthroat as some. For the most part, my classmates are positive people and we are genuinely supportive of each other’s accomplishments. Of course, there are a few classic “gunners,” and I simply avoid talking to them and don’t associate with them in or out of class.

However, there is one girl, just on the outskirts of our group, who considers me a friend and who is a classic example of a self-deprecating braggart. She makes crystal-clear how smart, busy and accomplished she is, all while saying how stupid, lazy and useless she is.

She once “complained” about getting A’s on her papers because that meant she didn’t get feedback from the professors. She once “complained” about her exam answer being posted as the model answer because she “literally didn’t even know what she was writing about.”

She hopes you have a good weekend because she’s working as a waitress and “doesn’t even know what a weekend is anymore.” She is also guilty of interrupting you to remind you, again, how stupid/lazy/useless she is and never letting you finish a thought.

I fantasize about telling her to SHUT UP, and that it’s unbearably annoying to listen to her talk. However, on a softer side, I want to tell her this because I know how others find it annoying, too. It’s a terrible quality to have, and flat-out won’t serve her well in her chosen profession. Hypothetically, do you want your attorney to start your defense by saying, “I’m sorry, Judge, I’m really bad at this and hardly even practiced my opening argument ...”

As a girl in the same area as her, I completely understand the habit of putting yourself down to avoid coming across as OVER-confident, as well as avoiding the stigma of being labeled a “bitch.” But like I said, I think she’s crossing the threshold and she’s doing a disservice to herself.

Is there any way I can serve my own interest of getting her to stop while also trying to offer any kind of advice of how to conduct herself in a professional arena? Again, please picture a hypothetical prosecutor going to defense counsel and saying, “Oh my God, I’m sure you’ll win. I have a 100 percent conviction rate, but I’m so bad at talking in public and juries never like me!”

GENTLE READER: Ah, yes, the humble-brag, which is beloved of people who have been taught not to boast but can’t help themselves. So they figure that if they do it upside-down, it won’t count against them.

Miss Manners is grateful that you agree that “Oh, shut up,” while tempting, is out of the question. But it is not rude to ignore the subtext and offer sympathy.

If you say, “Oh, that’s too bad,” your friend will think that you misunderstood, and be tempted to ruin her conceit by saying, “No, I got an A.” Or you can say, “Really? You were faking and the professor fell for it? I thought he was smarter than that.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)