DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a 25-year-old law student at a school that is not nearly as competitive and cutthroat as some. For the most part, my classmates are positive people and we are genuinely supportive of each other’s accomplishments. Of course, there are a few classic “gunners,” and I simply avoid talking to them and don’t associate with them in or out of class.

However, there is one girl, just on the outskirts of our group, who considers me a friend and who is a classic example of a self-deprecating braggart. She makes crystal-clear how smart, busy and accomplished she is, all while saying how stupid, lazy and useless she is.

She once “complained” about getting A’s on her papers because that meant she didn’t get feedback from the professors. She once “complained” about her exam answer being posted as the model answer because she “literally didn’t even know what she was writing about.”

She hopes you have a good weekend because she’s working as a waitress and “doesn’t even know what a weekend is anymore.” She is also guilty of interrupting you to remind you, again, how stupid/lazy/useless she is and never letting you finish a thought.

I fantasize about telling her to SHUT UP, and that it’s unbearably annoying to listen to her talk. However, on a softer side, I want to tell her this because I know how others find it annoying, too. It’s a terrible quality to have, and flat-out won’t serve her well in her chosen profession. Hypothetically, do you want your attorney to start your defense by saying, “I’m sorry, Judge, I’m really bad at this and hardly even practiced my opening argument ...”

As a girl in the same area as her, I completely understand the habit of putting yourself down to avoid coming across as OVER-confident, as well as avoiding the stigma of being labeled a “bitch.” But like I said, I think she’s crossing the threshold and she’s doing a disservice to herself.

Is there any way I can serve my own interest of getting her to stop while also trying to offer any kind of advice of how to conduct herself in a professional arena? Again, please picture a hypothetical prosecutor going to defense counsel and saying, “Oh my God, I’m sure you’ll win. I have a 100 percent conviction rate, but I’m so bad at talking in public and juries never like me!”

GENTLE READER: Ah, yes, the humble-brag, which is beloved of people who have been taught not to boast but can’t help themselves. So they figure that if they do it upside-down, it won’t count against them.

Miss Manners is grateful that you agree that “Oh, shut up,” while tempting, is out of the question. But it is not rude to ignore the subtext and offer sympathy.

If you say, “Oh, that’s too bad,” your friend will think that you misunderstood, and be tempted to ruin her conceit by saying, “No, I got an A.” Or you can say, “Really? You were faking and the professor fell for it? I thought he was smarter than that.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

I have moved to a new part of the country. Trying to find a social outlet, I joined a bridge group.

When I first went in to play, I had a pretty good time -- until late in the afternoon, when I was partnered with a woman who was very critical of my game. (I can’t fault her bridge judgment; I am not a terrific player at all.) She became harsher as time went on, and I never felt like going back, it was so unpleasant.

How could I have responded constructively to this? I was taken aback!

GENTLE READER: Then you shouldn’t have trumped your partner’s king. (That Miss Manners condemns all rudeness does not prevent her from acknowledging the provocation.)

The time to declare your lack of expertise is when partner assignments are arranged. Better yet, speak to the group’s organizers about assigning bridge partners who play at a comparable level.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Good friends of ours have generously invited our family (my husband, our two kids and me) to spend a holiday weekend with them and another couple at their lakeside cottage, a 3.5-hour drive away. We have a max option of four nights’ stay.

My husband wants to spend the allotted time, but I am uncomfortable spending that many days away from home. I would be perfectly content with a two-nighter.

Do I, A. Suck it up and go on board with the family for the whole four nights, against my discomfort, or, B. Tell everyone (besides my husband, who knows the truth) that I have to stay behind a day or two because I have to work (which is not true), and drive up later to meet them?

I get homesick and feel “burned out” with lengthy stays -- even though I love these friends. (And, if it matters, we have pets at home that need care. I most likely can arrange for that, but haven’t confirmed anything thus far. Also, Husband didn’t seem fazed at the idea of me joining the gang a day or two later.)

I don’t like to lie, but I also feel that if I told the truth, I would come off as snobbish and/or cold. Is it OK to lie in this situation?

GENTLE READER: Lying is a big issue with Miss Manners’ Gentle Readers, many of whom are highly indignant when she recommends such pleasantries as “I had a lovely time” and “How nice to see you.” The virtue of kindness means nothing to them compared to that of expressing the literal truth about their negative feelings.

But that doesn’t have to be the choice. There is no dishonor, except perhaps in court, to withholding hurtful information. And it would be mean of you to tell generous hosts that you can stand only so much of their company, which is what your sentiment would convey.

Instead, say only, “I’m afraid that I can only stay for two days, but would you mind if Sean and the children stay two more? I know how much they would enjoy that.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A rather odious problem: My sister-in-law posted something on social media that was quite disturbing. She made a disparaging remark about my brother, which referenced their intimate (or lack thereof) relations and made a shocking and vulgar comment about my brother in that regard. Several family members saw the posting, one of whom asked her to remove it, which she did.

My brother does not know about this. He doesn’t use social media, and no one wants to tell him. I think he should know, but I can’t bring myself to tell him, and I’m not sure if I should.

Can you advise me? Should one of us tell him about this unfortunate event? If we tell him, I doubt he will be able to forgive her. I know I can’t. I’m about to make a trip home (I live in a distant city). I’m looking forward to seeing my brother, but I really don’t want to see my sister-in-law, and I’m not sure how to deal with this. Please let me know what you would do.

GENTLE READER: Stay as far away from the situation as possible. Miss Manners insists that no good can come from being the messenger here. Especially since the posting has since been taken down, there will be trust issues on all sides if the family accuses his wife of something that he can no longer witness himself, and that she can always deny.

It will be far easier -- and less expensive -- for your brother to engage in a lasting fight with his relatives than with his wife. If your brother does, at some point, find out and chastise you for not alerting him, you can rightly tell him that you thought it was none of your business. And alert your sister-in-law in kind.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Save-the-date cards for my upcoming wedding went out several months ago, and we’re preparing to send formal invitations in a few weeks. One of my fiance’s lifelong friends emailed me to confirm that he and his wife were still invited because, he said, “budgets and venues change.”

I was a little taken aback that he felt the need to ask. We considered all the major details final, including our guest list, once save-the-dates were out; we thought the save-the-date was itself a form of invitation. Are we correct in assuming that? Does rescinding a save-the-date, as our friend implied we might do, actually happen?

GENTLE READER: Probably, but that does not make it correct. Save-the-dates are binding on the part of the issuer, but not on the part of the receiver. They were created out of convenience for guests who need to plan their schedules and travel arrangements, not for hosts who might have changed their minds about their guests. If for no other reason, Miss Manners urges hosts to remember the travel arrangement part when they play fast and loose with their own financial decisions.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)