DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a friend who throws parties throughout the year and I’m always invited last-minute.
These gatherings are not very formal, so she frequently uses online invitations. The issue is that I can see messages from her preferred guests dating back a month before the party. I’m invited a week or two before the event.
I understand she is probably trying to control the number of people at the party, but I don’t like the feeling of being a consistent Plan B. Maybe she is hoping I already have plans and won’t be able to come, or maybe she does not want me to come at all. If that’s the case, I’m confused why she sends an invitation.
Should I consider not going to any of her events since I don’t feel truly welcome?
GENTLE READER: Clearly, it is up to you if you want to attend or not, but burdening yourself with subtext of how wanted or not you are will likely render the event far less enjoyable. On a highly related side note, Miss Manners encourages hosts, if they must issue invitations electronically, to keep the guest lists private just for this reason.