DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a friend who throws parties throughout the year and I’m always invited last-minute.

These gatherings are not very formal, so she frequently uses online invitations. The issue is that I can see messages from her preferred guests dating back a month before the party. I’m invited a week or two before the event.

I understand she is probably trying to control the number of people at the party, but I don’t like the feeling of being a consistent Plan B. Maybe she is hoping I already have plans and won’t be able to come, or maybe she does not want me to come at all. If that’s the case, I’m confused why she sends an invitation.

Should I consider not going to any of her events since I don’t feel truly welcome?

GENTLE READER: Clearly, it is up to you if you want to attend or not, but burdening yourself with subtext of how wanted or not you are will likely render the event far less enjoyable. On a highly related side note, Miss Manners encourages hosts, if they must issue invitations electronically, to keep the guest lists private just for this reason.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am the youngest of four children. My brother and two sisters are all married and have children, so over the years, I have bought numerous gifts for my family members. Mind you, my niece and nephews are now getting married and having children -- so that means more gifts.

I am 46 years old and just have not found the “right one” yet. I also have no children and do not see it happening in the near future. I am moving into my first home. Can I register for gifts at a housewarming party?

GENTLE READER: No. As much as it may seem that people only get married and have children for the loot that results, that is not actually the intended purpose. However, Miss Manners will allow you to host a housewarming party, as long as you do not demand gifts in the form of registries and shopping lists (which, she feels compelled to add, your siblings should not have done, either). If presents do materialize, you may accept them graciously.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: If I got married in 1979 but separated for 10 years in the ‘80s, do I celebrate my 38th anniversary this year, or my 28th?

GENTLE READER: If you were technically married during that time, then 38, if both of you so wish. Clearly, those 10 years were important to the marriage. But Miss Manners recommends that you defer to the number of years that one of you feels most strongly about -- lest you lose another 10 in the deliberation.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When an invitation to a birthday party says 2 p.m. to 4 p.m., can a guest come at any time between 2 and 4?

GENTLE READER: Not without wasting a good deal of effort. A party that has a set time period means that it will start -- and more importantly, end -- promptly. However, since hosts are only able to actually enforce the ending part, Miss Manners assures you that you will only have yourself to blame for the missed fun and squandered energy in getting there if you choose to come late.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wonderful husband is everything I could want; however, his one flaw is his table manners.

My profession requires me to attend upscale business dinner meetings, and we are asked to join friends for meals as well. Unfortunately, most people we encounter at these events are completely turned off by my husband’s table manners -- which also, for some reason, reflect badly on me. We have lost many friends and I’ve lost business contacts as a result.

I am used to it, but others are not! He likes to eat with his fingers rather than use dining utensils, even greasy foods that get all over his hands and face. If he does use a utensil, it’s a tablespoon to scoop up the food all the faster. He will ask the server for a tablespoon the moment we are seated, even though nothing requiring one is on the menu. He also drinks soup by picking up the bowl and slurping it down, and stares at other people’s plates if they contain food that he enjoys, waiting for them to put down their spoon for a moment and then asking if he can finish the food on their plate.

At one business dinner in a very upscale hotel dining room, we were seated eight to a round table. Desserts were placed before each diner, and after “inhaling” his chocolate cake, he went around to everyone at the table asking if he could have their cake if they weren’t planning to eat it! Most of the diners at the table intended to enjoy their dessert, but at a normal, leisurely pace -- which he assumes means they don’t care for the food placed before them.

The shock on their faces showed that they didn’t know how to respond, and most inched their dessert toward him. He happily sat at the table with six other desserts in front of him, tackling one after the other, while everyone looked on in disgust. Then he excused himself from the table, announcing he had to “go wash up” since the grease of the steak dinner was all over his hands and face.

Needless to say, I lost all further contact with any of my associates who dined at that table with us. Gently suggesting change does not work! Neither do dirty looks or reprimanding statements. Any suggestions?

GENTLE READER: Your husband’s behavior reflects badly on you because ... he is your husband. The sole reason for his inclusion at business functions is in that capacity. But even in social situations, you cannot expect to avoid some measure of censure.

His behavior is abhorrent, but you are the one most able to take corrective action. You -- or rather, he -- therefore have two choices: Reform his manners or cease to include him. This will be easier in your business life than your personal life, since you can tell your husband you have to avoid further damage to your career -- ”business people are so unforgiving” -- and you can tell your business partners that your husband was unavailable.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have dinner with a small group of longtime friends who come together once or twice a year to touch base. One person in the group tends to dominate the conversation with greatly detailed storytelling of mishaps and adventures of family members and friends.

I believe I speak for the others in the group as well -- as I recognize the glaze in their eyes and the curious questions ceasing -- that we’d all like a chance to contribute and catch up. For example, I want to hear about everyone’s newest grandchild, latest hobby or how they’re coping with an aging parent, but it’s hard to get past this one long-winded person. Can you suggest a delicate way to redirect the conversation without being rude?

GENTLE READER: Even when a dinner party includes a relatively small number of guests, etiquette allows -- even expects -- many multiple, simultaneous conversations among different groupings. It is natural that at some point in the evening, attention may focus on a single speaker, but not for more than a few minutes.

When your lecturer begins, feel free to start a separate conversation with your next neighbor. If your guests follow your lead, only one or two people need be bored at a time, and this duty can be quietly rotated as you move from pre-dinner drinks, to the table, to after-dinner coffee.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My son is engaged and I am over the moon. I have more friends that want to throw a party to celebrate their engagement than invitations allotted to the wedding. I have hosted parties for many of their children in the past and I know they want to do the same for me.

What should I do? Do I let them throw a party even though they will not be invited to the wedding, or do I politely decline?

GENTLE READER: How many of these offers were you planning on accepting? Miss Manners agrees that anyone hosting a party should be invited to the wedding, but she assumes that at least one of the prospective hosts is already on the invitation list. Everyone else can be thanked but told that a party is already scheduled.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our family received a save-the-date card in the mail for an upcoming bar mitzvah. Our families’ children attend school together and our family was very excited to be included.

The save-the-date card remains posted in our kitchen, but no invitation was received. The party is now only two weeks away. No calls have been received from the family or their party planner asking if we plan to attend for their final count. What to do?

GENTLE READER: Having been asked to save the date, it is only reasonable of you to assume that an invitation would be forthcoming. Miss Manners would not want you to be accused of not responding to an invitation that was mailed but not delivered, nor for your hosts to feel regret that you missed the event because of a mistake on their part -- either failing to mail an intended invitation or assuming that the “save the date” was all that was required.

You should therefore inquire directly. If the omission was not innocent -- for example, an attempt to solicit gifts without an invitation -- you will find out soon enough.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)