DEAR MISS MANNERS: Can you ask people not to post other people’s private information on social media?

When my sister died, a distant relative inadvertently learned of it and posted the news on social media before my sister’s children could be notified, with heart-wrenching consequences. When my mother was hospitalized with a serious illness, she asked that only immediate family know the particulars. Again, a distant relative learned of the details, posting daily until discovered. Finally, when Mom died, someone overheard news of her death and posted on social media before immediate family could be told.

GENTLE READER: English speakers are particularly bad at compound nouns, a fact Miss Manners once demonstrated with the oxymoron “industrial park,” but for which she will now substitute “social media.”

It is not that social media is neither media nor social -- it is decidedly both -- but that in the race to use it as a platform for self-promotion, posters forget the manners applicable to both.

Personal news is best delivered by those closest to the person being notified. Others do so at their peril, a fact to which the military has long been sensitive. You would not casually tell someone terrible news at a party. And newspapers go to some trouble to consult relatives before publishing obituaries. Social media is not the place to post other people’s sensitive news.

You may now consider everyone told. Miss Manners hopes you will find someone else capable of enforcing this ban.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am searching for the proper response when an apology is offered after I have been wronged. I ended up saying “It’s OK,” but then it occurred to me that, no, it’s not OK.

A pizza place messed up my order, and I didn’t discover their error until I got home. And because I live outside of their delivery area, my only recourse was to drive a considerable distance to pick up the correct pizza and return home. They corrected their error and said, “We’re sorry for the mix-up.”

I don’t believe my tone or attitude was inappropriate, and I appreciate their remorse, but is there an appropriate response to their apology that conveys that this was a pretty big inconvenience for me? “Apology accepted” seems a little formal.

GENTLE READER: Accepting an apology with cold formality is an excellent way to display your insincerity, if that is all you want.

But the restaurant already acknowledged both its mistake and your inconvenience by showing remorse.

If you want a more demonstrative acknowledgment on their part, Miss Manners urges you not to be so quick to solve a problem of their making. Driving back a considerable distance was not your only recourse. Had you called before doing so, there would have been an opportunity for the restaurant to make an exception to their delivery area. And a complaint to the boss can still underscore the level of your dissatisfaction.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been a physician for 40 years. When introducing myself in social/business situations, I introduce myself as Zachary Welch. I have been told I should introduce myself as Dr. Welch.

I feel this is somewhat pretentious. My brother does not introduce himself as Attorney Trevor Welch.

GENTLE READER: Over those 40 years, how many times have you hoped to enjoy a relaxing social evening, only to be asked to examine someone’s rash, to give advice about the condition of someone’s relative you haven’t seen, or to listen to a rant about other doctors or health costs?

Do your advisers assume that you want to encourage more of that sort of thing?

Miss Manners realizes that we live in times when people are constantly touting themselves, and the distinction between work and social life is all but obliterated. Yet you do not have to live like that.

The rule against using a title for oneself -- whether it is doctor, duke, Mr. or Mrs. -- when it is not a professional necessity has not been repealed. Should you not feel the need to brag or to drum up business when you are off duty, you should follow it.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I invited nine people for dinner, and I furnished and prepared the meal. Several of the guests sent me some form of thank-you. Hooray! What is puzzling me is that the respondents thanked me for hosting the event. In my mind, “hosting” does not convey a reflection of my effort and expense. I could have “hosted” a potluck dinner. Am I just out of step on this phraseology?

GENTLE READER: In Miss Manners’ mind, “host” is not a verb, but we will let that pass.

Your guests were thanking you for your hospitality, which includes providing the food and the expense. (At a potluck dinner, the host’s functions are split among the guests, rather than belonging exclusively to the person in whose house it is held.) Miss Manners is sorry that you did not receive the ecstatic testimonials you were expecting, but they were not required.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My 60-year-old husband of 38 years has been asked to be a groomsman -- one of seven -- for our 35-year-old part-time employee of 15 years. At what point during the reception will his responsibilities to the corresponding bridesmaid be fulfilled? I know I will want to spend some time with him on the dance floor.

GENTLE READER: Being a groomsman does not constitute being on a blind date with a bridesmaid. Miss Manners assures you that you will get him back.

Very likely, there will be such a person next to him during the recessional, and it is even possible that the wedding party may be asked to dance with one another once by way of encouraging general dancing. It would be gracious for him to mix a bit with the other guests, but it would be equally gracious for you to join him in doing so.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My ex-husband and I both remarried other partners, and he has children with his new wife. We all get along beautifully, spending vacations, holidays and other events together.

When introducing their children to my friends (or whomever), what “title” should I give them? The explanation that they are my ex-husband’s children just seems unfair because they are more than that to us. Any suggestions?

GENTLE READER: Use their names.

The idea that you have to define every relationship in all of its particulars is one that has always bewildered Miss Manners. It is no one’s business -- and usually only of true interest to the parties involved. How you treat your ex-husband’s children will presumably speak more to your relationship with them than any lengthy explanation. And it will become self-evident to the friends who are interested enough to find out.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: If you are alphabetizing a list of names and you have partners or spouses with different last names, who goes first -- the woman or the man? Should it be Susan Smith and Darwood Allen, or Darwood Allen and Susan Smith?

GENTLE READER: Not wishing to engage in a battle of the sexes, Miss Manners will decree that whoever’s last name comes first in the alphabet takes precedence. That way, if you have any further quibbles about who comes first, you may take it up with the English language and not her.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: At a board meeting, my boss, who knew I was disappointed at not getting a recent promotion, stood up and asked everyone to applaud me for my many years of service to the company. He went on to say, “She ran her department with an iron fist.”

I murmured “thank you” and accepted his handshake.

Miss Manners, I assure you this characterization is completely inaccurate. I am widely respected for my efficiency, my effectiveness and my collegial style. Many of my co-workers were surprised and disappointed that I did not receive the promotion, because they respect me and LIKE working with me!

I know this was his awkward attempt at reconciliation, but should I say anything to him about his inappropriate choice of words?

GENTLE READER: As you have surmised, in all likelihood, your boss misguidedly thought that he was giving you a compliment. If you want to redirect this unfair assessment -- and perhaps find out more about why you were not promoted in the process -- you may ask your boss if there is anything that you can do to improve your performance in general.

Avoid directly speaking of the passed-over promotion -- letting it hang in the air -- but ask if he has concerns that you have been too tough on your employees, as perhaps indicated by his “kind acknowledgment.” Miss Manners realizes that you may have to choke out those last two words, but is hoping that the reward will be your boss’s realization that he himself should have picked better ones.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)