DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband is planning to visit his estranged daughter, who is a lesbian, married and now pregnant with twins. My husband's Christian faith is a matter of contention for her, as same-sex marriage is not sanctioned.

Regardless, my husband loves his daughter and wants to avoid being alienated. He has plans to meet with her for a brief visit.

We have not met her wife, who recently gave birth to a son. The last time his daughter visited us, she condemned and swore at her father, so there is a lot of reconciliation that needs to occur.

Is a gift in order for her or the babies, or her partner and son? If so, what would be appropriate?

GENTLE READER: You have kindly provided Miss Manners with a great deal of irrelevant information. And she knows even less than your husband does what would please your stepdaughter.

Why people keep asking Miss Manners to choose presents for people they know but she does not is a mystery. If there were an all-purpose present that would please everyone, everyone would already have it.

But she is going to give this one a try, based on the one legitimate clue you did provide: that there are going to be a lot of infants in this household. So it shouldn't be too great a burden on the imagination to realize that their parents might need help.

Baby equipment times three? A service to relieve them of some chores? Or best of all, a grandfather willing to show loving consideration by pitching in.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I bought an expensive engagement ring for my fiancee. She went to get the band sized and possibly a different style band. She then selected a much larger diamond that costs thousands more, and she knew the price difference. I heard this not from her, but from the salesman who (with her knowledge) phoned me to explain how she loves the new proposed ring and diamond.

Am I right to feel hurt and disrespected?

GENTLE READER: Yes, but what you should really feel is panicked.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My mother taught me that it is inconsiderate to serve food to guests that someone at the table is not able to eat.

Today there are so many food restrictions, whether from medical necessity, religious laws or personal preference, that it sometimes seems impossible to serve a meal that everyone at the table could eat. What is a hostess's responsibility to provide alternatives to a planned menu to accommodate all guests?

GENTLE READER: Tough as Miss Manners may be, she cannot reasonably ask people to be responsible for doing what you rightly point out is impossible. She dares say that even your gracious mother could not devise such a menu today.

It has therefore become incumbent on hosts to inquire beforehand if their guests have any food restrictions -- and to hope that the guests do not interpret this as an opportunity to register their mere dislikes.

If, among them, they eliminate all the food groups, the best that the host can do is to see to it that all of them have enough for an acceptable and palatable meal, even if they cannot eat everything that is served.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: In these days, where one must rely on technical support given over the telephone in order to repair a problem, what is the proper etiquette when one cannot understand the person giving the technical information? Especially if you are being charged for that information?

GENTLE READER: "I am so sorry, but we seem to have a bad connection -- and with all of this technical language, I am unable to understand you. Could we do a written chat instead, or is there someone else with whom I can talk?"

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wife and I just had a baby (our first). We were obviously very excited, as were most of our family. However, my father-in-law has not shown the level of excitement we would have expected.

My father-in-law has not gotten us or our daughter a gift or even a card. He did visit briefly while my wife was in the hospital.

When my wife's sister had their first child, my father-in-law had a custom dresser made by a furniture maker. This dresser is easily a $700 to $1,000 piece of furniture.

My wife is starting to take this personally. It is becoming part of a long-standing situation in which my father-in-law discounts everything accomplished by my wife because her older sister has already done it. I want to say something to him but don't know that it is my place.

GENTLE READER: Are you really hoping to get into the middle of an age-old fight about which sister your father-in-law prefers?

While Miss Manners sympathizes with your disappointment in what you deem lesser treatment, really your only solid complaint is that you didn't get the $1,000 piece of furniture. Your father-in-law did acknowledge the new baby -- even if it was not with the measure of excitement you would have liked.

Asking why you didn't get the goods ("but Bethany did!") is not a polite grievance. You could, however, ask for the gift of his company -- and make concrete plans to arrange for it. Then if he still doesn't comply, you may wonder aloud what you or your wife did to upset him. But only if you are genuinely prepared to hear the answer, which may not be reasonable or pleasant.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I liked your advice to the person who may not be able to afford a big restaurant party to invite friends over for tea and cake instead. I always get carried away with big ideas that I can't afford. I forget that one can still be hospitable and generous without spending a lot of money.

Do you have any other similar ideas for someone on a budget?

GENTLE READER: The underlying idea is to invite people at times when meals are not expected: midmorning coffee, afternoon tea, or after another event, such as the theater. Miss Manners has noticed that even the greatest food snobs consider scrambled eggs to be a great treat when served at midnight.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I worked for a bank for many years. We were required to greet customers as soon as they entered the door.

The reason was very sensible: Bank robbers do not want to be recognized. They assume, correctly, that if you see them before they terrorize you, you will be able to describe them. What does Miss Manners think?

GENTLE READER: She has no objection to polite methods of ferreting out potential criminals. Miss Manners only hopes that the greeter keeps the intrusiveness of his greeting below a point that might terrorize the customers.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our office has given a particular person gifts three different times. First was a baby shower gift (which was actually one large gift from the office and many separate gifts from individuals). Second, a floral arrangement was sent when the baby was delivered. Third, due to Administrative Assistant Week, another floral arrangement was sent to the same person.

This person has yet to acknowledge or thank the office or individuals in any form or fashion for any of the gifts or flowers. Since I'm the one who normally takes care of making sure that gifts are bought and flowers ordered, I have the office coming to me asking if there was a thank-you card or note from said person.

How do you approach this? Do you confront the person and say people want to know if you liked the gift/gifts? Or do you stop sending something to someone who seems so unappreciative?

GENTLE READER: You might tell the recipient that you are getting such questions. But be prepared if the answer is, "Oh, tell everyone I liked them a lot." Or "a bit." Or "not at all." People who disdain etiquette often think that brutal frankness is an adequate substitute.

Miss Manners does not condone civilians chastising one another about their manners, but when it has reached this point, she does not object to a neutrally worded suggestion that you yourself send thank-you notes, and that people appreciate receiving them, matters that your co-worker might consider.

However, she does point out a possible confusion about gifts that were sent by "the office" or in the passive voice. To whom are thanks due for such gifts? But after she adds this to the list of reasons why she does not like office gifting, Miss Manners has a solution.

What your co-worker should have done was to follow her benefactors' lead in issuing her thanks. A personal present from an individual requires a hand-written individual thank-you. A gift presented at a party on behalf of a roomful of people can be acknowledged with a verbal thank-you to everyone at the party either individually or, acoustics and topography permitting, all at once. A group gift delivered at home (or tossed in an inbox at work) can be acknowledged with a card posted in the lunchroom or an email.

Miss Manners agrees that those who are not thanked cannot reasonably be expected to participate in the future.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)