DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm a single mother of two wonderful daughters. As I go to school full time and work full time at a "just until I get through school" job, money is exceptionally tight.

When purchasing food at the grocery store, my thoughts are always, "How many meals can I get out of this?" Usually I purchase food that I can prepare relatively cheaply with enough to have leftovers and meals to take to work or for my daughters' school lunches. Things like potato chips and cookies are for "filler days" when we take sandwiches to work/school.

My daughters know this and are very judicial when they snack. They might only have a handful of chips or one cookie, when they might actually want half the bag of chips or five or six cookies, because they know it goes for our lunches for the week.

The problem that I'm having is when my kids have friends over to spend the night. I make a dinner, and they'll take large portions, but not finish them. I watch them throw food away and think, "That could have been my lunch for Monday." Or they will ask for a snack and take large portions, much more than necessary. Sometimes a whole package of cookies is eaten in a night, and we're stuck for the rest of the week without sweets.

We have bottled water to take with our lunches, and I constantly find the friends will want a bottle of water, drink half of it, and then throw it away, or worse, drink only half a bottle, leave it somewhere and get another. As my daughters and I always refill the bottles, not only are they wasting the water, they are wasting a bottle I might have refilled two or three times at work.

How do I address this behavior with my daughters' friends? Am I going beyond my limits as an adult to stop a child from taking larger portions of food if I know they won't eat it all? How do I address another person's child when I ask them to only eat one cookie or tell them they can only have one bottle of water?

I don't want to be the "food police," but every time I see my daughters' friends wasting food, I can't help but feel a little upset. I know that they probably don't know they're doing it, and many of their parents make much more money than I do, so I'm not sure it's my place to correct their behavior.

GENTLE READER: Dole out the portions for your young guests, telling them that they are welcome to seconds if they finish. Put cookies in bowls and water in glasses instead of leaving out packages.

Miss Manners is pleased to say that this solution not only solves your problem -- but is also correct (and has the added bonus of quieting naysayers who are opposed to the extra step of dirtying dishes). Food and drink packaging should never be seen outside of the kitchen.

Now you have a practical reason to overcome your very legitimate fear of being inhospitable to guests and offensive to their parents.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it rude to get up from the dinner table and ask for the check at a restaurant?

GENTLE READER: If it is for the purpose of paying for guests who might otherwise have felt responsible for doing so, Miss Manners imagines you will be forgiven.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was eating a meal in a local mom-and-pop restaurant when I noticed a man feeding a baby from a bottle. Also at the table were three older boys and a woman, who I took to be the man's older sons and wife.

It was obvious to me, as a nurse and a mother, that the man did not know how to properly burp the baby. None of the other people at the table said anything to him about this. I wanted to go up to the table and explain how you properly burp a baby but I did not, for fear of rejection.

Should I have done so? Can you please tell me what kinds of words I should have used to politely approach this issue in order to ensure the man's and family's cooperation?

GENTLE READER: Since the answer to your first question is "no," Miss Manners will excuse herself from finding a polite approach for committing a rude act.

When someone is in genuine danger, a stranger can --indeed, should -- intervene. But this liberty does not extend to correcting routine parental ineptitude. The man's three older sons provide direct evidence that his burping technique, even if flawed, is not fatal.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I had the privilege of having one of my creative works (over which I labored for nearly a year) performed by a local theater troupe. Many of my friends attended, and most of them readily offered their compliments and congratulations after the performance.

My best friend, however, who was in attendance, has yet to offer any compliments whatsoever, despite the fact we have seen each other a number of times since the performance.

Though she is neither a theater critic nor a potential producer, she is certainly entitled to her own private opinion. However, I was under the impression that friends are supposed to be congratulatory regarding such occasions regardless of the perceived quality of the performance, and I am quite hurt by her lack of response.

Is there indeed a rule of etiquette that covers such situations, and am I right to be aggrieved?

GENTLE READER: Your friend should certainly have said something, even if, as you suspect, she did not enjoy the work and is therefore flummoxed about how to avoid hurting your feelings.

The solution, as Miss Manners has said on many occasions, was not to blurt out the truth. She does not understand people who think that saying, "Thank you so much for inviting me. I enjoyed the evening immensely," will forever damage their sterling reputations -- while maintaining that hurting the feelings of a beloved friend is perfectly acceptable.

What can you do now? She is your best friend. If you are interested in genuine criticism, you could say so and, if your guess about what has happened so far is correct, you could trust that the criticism will be well-intended and delivered so as not to hurt your feelings. If you are instead looking for compliments, however insincere, Miss Manners warns you that you will only encounter embarrassment or worse.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I received an invitation to attend a Christmas party from an old college friend. He sent it via social media and I accepted via social media. Also attending the party will be a few other old friends I hardly ever see. I had been looking forward to it.

About a month ago, I received the following message, also via social media, from an old acquaintance who is closer to the host and the other guests than I am:

"Hey I'm wondering if you could not go to Joe's party so that I can attend. I kind of dislike you that much.

"Much appreciated (signature)"

I am still planning to attend. I am wondering what the appropriate response to this message would be, and by what medium I should send my response.

GENTLE READER: None. At least not to a person so crude and cruel as to be impervious to decent behavior. It would only provoke further rudeness.

But social media is useful in this case, as you can forward that message to your host, saying that you would indeed like to attend the party, and asking what he would prefer you to do in light of the other guest's attitude.

Miss Manners hopes that person would understand that this is a rare instance in which a dis-invitation is permissible: "I am sorry to learn that the presence of another guest means that you would not enjoy attending my party. Perhaps I will see you another time."

Should the host fail to do that, you will know of two people to avoid. Merry Christmas.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I attended three funerals (unrelated to each other), I sent each family a sympathy card with a handwritten note immediately upon hearing of the death.

However, I noticed a basket at each funeral for people to place cards. Because I had sent cards at the time of death, a month before the services, should I have also brought a card to the funerals? It didn't even occur to me. I'm not sure what the proper protocol is.

GENTLE READER: Well, it shouldn't be collecting a basket of cards as if they were valentines in an elementary school class. Sympathy is properly conveyed as you have already done, and presence at a funeral is noted in a guest book for attendees to sign.

Miss Manners presumes the bringing of cards is being done by people who are unaware of funeral etiquette, or who want to save postage.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How is a combination of cake and ice cream to be served? On a dessert plate or in a bowl? How is it eaten? Fork or spoon? Is it ever proper to eat from a plate with a spoon?

GENTLE READER: Have you ever tried to eat ice cream with a fork?

You needn't. Contrary to what many people believe, Miss Manners assures you that etiquette is not out to trick you. When dessert is both textured and runny or gooey, both a spoon and a fork should be available.

It would also be too much of a challenge to have to eat cake from a bowl. The ice cream is properly placed on top of the cake, so that any melting will be absorbed before getting to the plate.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)