DEAR MISS MANNERS: There must be a new trend in save-the-date cards for upcoming weddings. In the past few months I have received three such requests, but on all three cards, the couples failed to include their last names. There was a beautiful photo of the happy couple, and the words "Save the Date" for Mike and Haley, or Tiffany and Bob, and so on.

In all three cases, we have no idea who they are!

Granted, we have a large social network, as well as the adult friends of our children who may be getting married, but I feel it is so rude to send a save-the-date card for a large event and expect that everyone knows who they are. It causes me the extra work to have to search out who this happy couple is.

Is it me, or is it wrong of them to be so self-centered that they feel they are the only people on Earth planning a wedding and asking for well wishes, so that they don't need to include their full names? And finally, how do I politely ask them to reveal their identities?

GENTLE READER: It is not unusual for those about to be married to think they are alone on the planet, and in very limited doses, for short periods of time, it can even be endearing.

But expecting a stranger to hold a date is both impolite and impractical. If the trouble you are put to involves checking the last name on the return address against the names of your friends' children, Miss Manners wonders if it is not more trouble to point out the inconvenience.

But if not, leave open the possibility that the rudeness was caused by someone other than Tiffany or Bob. If there is a return address, you may respond: "My apologies, but the way the invitation arrived, we could not tell who had sent it. Could you please let me know whom I am addressing?"

If more work is required, you may find that you are not available when the invitation finally arrives.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What container is the proper vessel with which to serve dry cereal at breakfast?

I know one should never serve food in its original container from the store, but I am at a loss when trying to deal with cereal, especially since it comes in so many sizes and shapes. Some types could easily be poured from a pitcher, while others could possibly be served on a platter with long fish tongs.

I am about to be hosting some breakfast gatherings for business associates and need guidance. My current plan is to simply not offer cereal, although this seems to be a regrettable situation, as I make a delicious homemade granola.

GENTLE READER: Did Miss Manners forget to decree that hosts should serve food in a way that gives diners a reasonable chance to transfer the food from the serving dish to their plate without half of it ending up on the table, the floor or themselves?

However, since most hosts will be responsible for any resulting cleanup, Miss Manners recommends a moderate nod to practicality after disposing of the plastic wrappers: a bowl and spoon for small items, a platter and serving utensil for more substantial items.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: One of my girlfriends recently got engaged. I was very happy and excited for her, as she had waited for this proposal for what seemed a long time. When she texted me with a photo of the proposal taking place, I quickly texted back my congratulations. The next day, I then followed up with a phone call to again congratulate the happy couple and find out the details of the proposal.

Imagine my dismay when, a few days later, my friend discussed with me how disappointed she was in her friends' response to her engagement! She proceeded to tell me that it really bothered her that none of her good friends took her out for champagne to celebrate or for a manicure.

I sat there in silence as she talked about what she has done for her friends who have gotten engaged, but no one did it for her.

Am I a bad friend for not doing these things? I assumed there would be engagement parties, bridal showers and everything else that comes along with this engagement, so I never thought of doing something extra so quickly for her.

Is this something I should bring up with her as to why it bothered me that she came off as so self-centered?

GENTLE READER: First, a warning:

Do not agree to be a bridesmaid to this lady. If in the first flush of this happy time, her thoughts are not focused on her new life with her fiance, but on how others should pay her obeisance, it is only going to get worse.

Miss Manners' next cautionary advice is not to get into a discussion of your friend's fault or your own grievance. Rather, you should be leading her into talk about the virtues of the bridegroom and listening to tedious wedding details (should the tablecloths be pink or rose?). That is the duty of a good friend under such circumstances.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Today the granddaughter of someone I know asked me point blank if I think her grandmother is beautiful. Is this a proper or improper question?

GENTLE READER: It is a dangerous one, as the world seems to be full of literal-minded people who would rather state their blunt opinions than consider and react to the subtext that would lead someone to ask such a question.

In any case, the proper answer to the granddaughter is yes. Miss Manners assures you that all grandmothers, like all babies, are beautiful.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My friend of many years has become predictably rude, demanding and demeaning to wait staff when we lunch together, a ritual of many years. I find that I cannot abide her ill-mannered treatment of these people, plus it ruins my meal.

Recently, while in a restaurant together, I gently asked her to treat the wait staff nicely. She exploded in anger against me and walked out. Can this friendship be saved?

GENTLE READER: No. Not at lunchtime, at any rate.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm 63. My wife is 53. We've been married for 25 years. I often get "funny" comments about our age difference, like "Oh, Darlene (my wife), who's the old guy with you? Ha ha."

I'm still young-looking. I often get comments that I don't look my age. I'm 5-foot-11 and weigh 185 pounds. I run half-marathons. So I'm in good shape. Please, how do I respond to such harsh comments?

GENTLE READER: "Darlene?! Are you seeing an older man?"

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Many of us who use drive-thrus regularly are often on our way to work. Unfortunately, we often end up behind someone who has placed an order for at least a dozen people. This situation tends to defeat the purpose of the drive-thru and renders the term "fast food" an oxymoron.

People who need to feed a whole lot of people and don't have time to cook should go to a supermarket delicatessen. They will probably save money that way, and the rest of us will save time. Please help me get my message out to the public.

GENTLE READER: And what would that message be? No fast food for parties over 4? Or 6? It is always frustrating to be delayed in line, especially when there is a promise of speed right there in the name. (But then again, so is the word "food," and Miss Manners would not presume to regulate that notion, either.)

Unfortunately, one can't make specific decrees as to the size and quality of a party who is only asking for their own right to the same service as you. Or make recommendations as to how they would be better served.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend sneezed in my direction at dinner, with my plate of food in the target zone. Although he apologized, I was horrified about eating the food, but also did not want to embarrass him or make him feel bad.

I ate it, rather than ask for a replacement. (Yuck!) What would have been a polite way to avoid consuming his germs?

GENTLE READER: Yuck indeed. Miss Manners commends your valiancy -- and iron stomach. Your reaction goes beyond any reasonable expectation of good manners.

But she agrees that it would be difficult to come up with an excuse for asking for the food to be replaced without embarrassing your friend. It would have been polite for your friend to have done so on your behalf.

In lieu of that, however, you could have discreetly stopped eating and politely eschewed any questions as to why -- or said that you yourself weren't feeling well. Surely not an inaccurate statement, given the circumstances.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it ever proper to ask who else will be attending a party?

GENTLE READER: Not before accepting the invitation. That would be tantamount to asking whether it would be worth one's while to attend.

But afterward, Miss Manners can offer you the excuse of wanting to know if there is anyone attending who might want -- or offer -- a ride.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)