DEAR MISS MANNERS: A lot of my friends are starting to have kids, and whereas their first priority is definitely taking care of their children, they still make time to hang out, which is really touching.

However, when I pick them up, a lot of times they prefer to sit in the back seat next to the car seat of their (usually sleeping) child instead of up front with me. This makes me feel like their cab driver instead of a friend hanging out with them.

Is this something I should be "sucking up" and going with, or would it be OK for me to communicate this to them? And if this is something I should be communicating to them, how do I approach it?

GENTLE READER: Convincing new parents that their babies will be fine without them is a fruitless task.

But with any luck, this is a short-term problem. Miss Manners is confident that most of these parents will soon outgrow this phase and want to sit up front for some adult conversation.

Until then, however, you are probably better off being annoyed by being alone in front, than by elbows -- or worse -- in your face while driving. No doubt the offending parent would be constantly reaching back to check on the child, give out bottles, and retrieve toys in the hilarious game of "Uh-oh! It dropped."

In the meantime, however, if you want to get benevolent revenge, next time the parent is driving, you can ask to sit in the back with the child to "keep her company." The parent will either be ecstatic at your enthusiasm for the child, or your point will be driven home. Literally.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was at a friend's house and noticed a piece of thread and a hair on my black pants.

What should I do? Pick it off and drop it on my friend's carpeting? Or just leave it there till I get home?

GENTLE READER: Is there no garbage receptacle? This would be Miss Manners' first choice for disposal of the hair and thread. If not, to whom do they belong?

Regardless, a show should not be made of their disposal. But if there is no obvious place for discarding them and you believe them to belong to your friend, Miss Manners will allow you to discreetly return them to their assumed origin.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When is the appropriate time frame after a proposal to throw an engagement party?

GENTLE READER: An increasing number of gentlemen seem to think that the proposal itself should be a surprise party and make it as public as possible, rather than a private moment for the couple.

That nullifies the traditional intent of the engagement party, which is to announce an engagement. (Yes, really -- no matter how many people believe its purpose is to open a fund-raising season.)

But Miss Manners has long since lost that battle, with every step of the courtship now posted on social media. She would at least request that it be held closer to the proposal than to the wedding.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it OK to spoon out the remains of the froth from a cappuccino coffee?

GENTLE READER: Foods that cling to the tableware are always a challenge, particularly as they tend to be the tastiest bits. Miss Manners has no objection to your dislodging the clinging froth, so long as no inadvertent spectators are injured.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Sometimes, when at a loss as to what to get someone, I opt for a gift card. A while later, I have pleasantly asked what they got with it.

Oh my goodness, you'd think I'd rudely asked them if they were wearing any underwear! And they won't say or can't remember. Not just one time, but every time -- the teenagers are the worst.

So I adapted, and at the giving time I have sweetly asked (with brief eye contact) to please let me know what I "got" them.

Oh yes, they certainly will. Happiness and smiles all around. But then they don't. Is it wrong to ask what someone got with their gift card? My current solution has been to tell them I will be giving them a gift card and ask where would they would like to use it.

GENTLE READER: The reason Miss Manners dislikes gift cards is that they show a lack of knowledge or effort -- or both -- on the part of the gift giver.

So it does not seem fair that, having not yourself made the effort to determine what the recipient would like, you should also burden them with having to report back the results. The simplest way to know what you give people is to give it to them.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When friends invite me over for dinner, sometimes the meat they have lovingly prepared is served with large amounts of fat. I have always trimmed it off and set it neatly to one side as I would bones, and no one has ever said anything.

Still, I have begun to worry that this may imply a criticism of their meal. I have been unable to determine if they eat or don't eat it.

GENTLE READER: Presumably it is easy enough to see if your hosts eat the fat on their own plates, and Miss Manners does not inquire what happens to food on your plate after it is removed from the table. If the dog is enjoying the bones, she has no objection.

You are entitled to eat -- or not eat -- what you wish, so long as you do not attempt to explain it. And if no one is complaining, your concern appears to be unwarranted.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My brother-in-law corrects me when I don't say "please" to my husband. What I say is, "Will you get me some coffee?" That is asking, not demanding.

I am 62, and my brother-in-law is 60. This is crazy!

GENTLE READER: Crazy, in Miss Manners' opinion, is eschewing polite forms with someone with whom one lives. And, for that matter, attempting to teach manners to one's stubborn sister-in-law.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I received a postcard announcing the upcoming birth of a baby, four months into the future. The card was similar to a "save the date" for a wedding.

Having never received one of these cards, I'm unsure how I'm to respond or if I need to. Am I to send more than congratulations? Am I to send a gift? Is this the newest trend in "save the date" cards?

GENTLE READER: Let us hope not. What exactly would you be saving the date to do? Congratulate the parents, and then listen to them burst into tears because the time was up and nothing had yet happened?

It strikes Miss Manners that these prospective parents are amazingly ignorant of the ways of babies. They are in for a shock when they discover that babies have their own agendas.

And even if they have scheduled an inducement, it would hardly be the day they would want to field calls and texts. Despite the ridiculous card, the tactful thing for you to do would be nothing whatever until you receive a birth announcement.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My brother just canceled his wedding less than three weeks prior to the event.

As we begin to discuss dealing with the aftermath, I wonder what the proper way of notifying guests would be. Does this type of thing necessitate a phone call or would emails suffice?

How much information does one divulge? If, as I suspect, this type of thing requires a phone call, can a family member help make said calls? How does one best respond to the inevitable question of "Why?"

GENTLE READER: There is a formal, third-person form for such an announcement ("Mr. and Mrs. Parents/announce that the marriage of their daughter/Olivia Zoe/to Mr. Humphrey Joshua Whittleby/will not take place"), but three weeks is a short time for people to cancel their travel plans and stop fussing about what to wear.

So yes, in this case the family should use instant devices to get in immediate touch with those invited to the wedding. Whether that would be by telephone or by email should depend on how you can be sure of reaching them, considering that some people no longer answer calls and others are not in the habit of checking email.

The explanation for all should be the same: that the couple canceled the wedding by mutual consent.

Miss Manners realizes that this will satisfy nobody, but it should be the only statement repeated to those who keep asking. There will be enough gossip about the situation without the family's adding to it, and your brother will have to decide how much he wants to explain to whom.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am wondering if it is polite to have a birthday dinner where the guests don't know each other. My friend had a dinner party of 10 guests where the guests didn't know each other.

GENTLE READER: Didn't they, by the end of the evening?

One of the pleasures of hospitality is putting together new combinations of people who might enjoy one another's company. Of course, Miss Manners is presuming that they have something in common: that they all know the host.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)