DEAR MISS MANNERS: As a top-tier frequent flier, I get free food and wine from the buy-on-board menu. Flight attendants see my status when they tally the bill, but some want a credit card first.

I would rather not add to other passengers' misery by announcing my privilege, but have found no other clear response to a demand for payment. What would you do?

GENTLE READER: Not conspire with the airlines to protect their customers from knowing the petty details of their class system.

It is tender of you to worry about the chagrin that passengers experience from knowing how crudely comfort and amenities are apportioned by tallying the accumulated money spent, not only on tickets, but also on credit card charges and such.

However, those unvalued customers already know the principle. Very likely they have been patiently waiting to board after those holding such honors as "Platinum," "Gold," "Silver," and, for all Miss Manners knows, "Silverplate," "Iron" and "Tin."

Miss Manners doubts that knowing that you get a few dollars' worth of sustenance will add to their misery as much as to their cynicism.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: While my boyfriend of 3 1/2 years and I were out celebrating my birthday with our combined family, he ran into some old friends who were dining out at the same place.

My boyfriend does not introduce me to people when he stops to talk with them. He tells me he cannot remember their names and does not want to offend them. However, I feel offended that he does not care to include me in.

Perhaps I'm too soft? Later, while we were all eating, this woman came over and said she wanted a picture with my boyfriend. I felt like an outsider, since I had no idea who this was. She was laughing and insisting on getting a picture. My daughters and I had to stand up in order to let him out of the booth. I then helped take the picture, and she was off.

I then asked my boyfriend who she was. He said she was family to his ex-girlfriend but could not remember her name. That was his reasoning for not introducing me. I felt it was very rude. He didn't want to hurt her feelings by not remembering her name, so he left me out.

What about my feelings? Is it wrong to like to feel honored by him?

GENTLE READER: What about having feelings for someone who has trouble remembering names? Miss Manners does, and can rescue the gentleman.

Presumably he remembers your name. And if not, you have a worse problem than the one you reported.

Teach him the trick of saying the name he does know with "May I introduce ...?" as if the other person is in the needs-no-introduction category (which doesn't exist, but never mind that for now).

But wait -- why aren't you rescuing him? You need only stand up and introduce yourself instead of hanging back, feeling insulted. Just remember to keep looking at the stranger, not back at your beau, as you wait for the name to be supplied.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I have several friends and family members who are gay and have just gotten legally married through a justice of the peace or are planning to do so.

We went to all of their wedding ceremonies in the past -- before these were legal unions -- and we gave them gifts then. Now we are confused as to what, if anything, should be gotten for them now that they are going to the courthouse to make it legal.

Is just a card acceptable? Or just a phone call or email? Do we get another gift? Or nothing at all?

GENTLE READER: Your good wishes, in whatever form of communication the announcement was issued (although Miss Manners, of course, always prefers a handwritten letter), are all that is required. A formal announcement of a legal marriage is perfectly correct and even proper -- as long as there is no solicitation for additional gifts or funding underneath it.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Throughout the school year, our daughter is invited to a dozen or so parties for classmates, and we make every attempt to attend them all.

But she is a summer baby. We live in a fairly affluent community, where most people take off for extended vacations in the summer, or sign their kids up for expensive local camps or classes -- none of which we can afford.

So, not only does our daughter lose touch with her classmates, but in July, when her birthday rolls around, they are either out of town or enrolled in some kind of activity.

On her seventh birthday this past summer, she was so excited about the prospect of reconnecting with her friends from school, but when only one classmate showed up, she was brokenhearted. I was so brokenhearted for her that I wanted to cry.

I have considered celebrating her next birthday at the end of the school year before classes end to better ensure that she is surrounded by her friends, but I don't know how this would be received, being that it is not really her birthday.

GENTLE READER: You should know that Miss Manners gets scores of letters from parents bemoaning the fact that they feel an obligation (or it is the school's mandate) to invite an entire class of children that they are unable to accommodate. They would probably love to trade problems with you.

In any case, parents have to arrange children's parties according to various scheduling issues all the time; it is the rare birthday party that falls on the actual day. That your daughter's party will be a month instead of a week earlier should hardly be noteworthy.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When my husband and I spent the day with his sister and her family, as well as with extended family from out of town, my brother-in-law made sure there was a bottle of one of my favorite wines, which I thought was a nice gesture.

I confess that during the six hours we were there, I drank the whole bottle.

The next day, at a birthday party for another family member, my brother-in-law said (in a very loud voice and in front of everyone), "You sure took care of that bottle of wine yesterday, didn't you?" He actually said it twice.

I was very embarrassed. I know that one must not drink to excess at gatherings, but I wasn't loud and boisterous or overtly drunk.

Since then, on visits to their home, I have replaced that bottle of wine and have politely refused wine or cocktails. I have not told him that I was embarrassed by what he said, but he has noticed that I don't partake at their house anymore. "Are you sure you don't want something? How come you're not drinking?"

I would never feel comfortable drinking at their house again. Can I just continue to decline wine or cocktails when we visit? As you know, sometimes people make it hard to refuse a drink. I don't have to explain, do I?

GENTLE READER: No, and it is not only hosts who can't stand the sight of someone without a drink in hand. You need only keep repeating, "No, thank you," until you wear such people out.

But this is your brother-in-law, and he knows something is wrong, even if he has not figured out what. And despite his unwarranted announcement, there is evidence that he wants to please, not embarrass, you.

You could lightly mention that perhaps you had drunk enough that one night to cover all future visits. But if you are unwilling to discuss the matter, then it is time to forget about his gaffe and resume normal behavior, whatever you want that to be.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I contacted a software company via email for a small project I was assigned to about two years ago. Their services were way more than we needed for our three-month initiative. I let them know and thought everyone moved on. The project ended in 2013.

I am still getting emails asking for a few minutes of my time to talk about their products or how they can become a vendor partner for my company.

I work in a research capacity for a small department of a very large corporation, and have zero purchasing power and no clout with anyone who does. I respond as such about every six months -- but I still get emails.

Is there anything I can say to get the point across? They are wasting everyone's time by contacting me.

GENTLE READER: Apparently there is nothing you can say to get the point across. But Miss Manners has good news: You are under no obligation to try.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)