DEAR MISS MANNERS: A member of my family hit the lottery for a sizable sum. She is getting married and would like a shower, not for the gifts, but to celebrate the occasion.
Do you have any suggestions how she can feel special but also suggest the gift of money so she could make a donation to a favorite charity? We certainly don't want to offend anyone, but we want to do the right thing.
GENTLE READER: Your relative won the lottery, and she is contemplating asking her friends to let her direct their money?
Let us leave aside the vulgarity of suggesting her own shower and endeavoring to seem generous by using other people's money. These transgressions have become so common that they now seem to bother no one except Miss Manners.
But she promises you that for someone who just struck it rich to ask others to give even more, for whatever purpose, will only enrage them. If any bride should hang back and wait for others to volunteer honoring her, it is your fortunate relative.