DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a young artist, and one of my art classes involves drawing all day in a famous natural history museum. The etiquette surrounding how to act around artists who are focused on their work seems to be varied.

I have talked to many of my fellow students who have expressed anger at the way they have been treated while working. A common issue is photographing artists working next to their subjects, especially including their work in the picture!

Artists are not zoo animals and have the right to be asked to be photographed -- not to mention not wanting their art to live forever in a stranger's memory card. If a patron enjoys the artist's work, please ask for their card or information.

Commenting on the work is fine for some (in my case, I appreciate it), but please try to remember that the artist is focused and does not want to be distracted by someone trying to instigate a full-on discussion of their subject matter!

GENTLE READER: Much as she would like to help, Miss Manners must point out that you work in a public place, doing something that is of particular interest to people who are there precisely because they want to look at what is also your subject matter.

It would not be a good sign if they ignored you, or asked you to move so that they could get a better view of the exhibits. And you are not indifferent to the possibility of admiration that would lead to your being asked for your card.

So please suggest that your fellow students drop their anger. Rather, they should devise "Artist at Work" signs that are so charming, both visually and in their instructions about not photographing or interrupting, that admirers will wait until they take a break to beg for their cards.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Why do both the membership chair of my social group and the secretary of a semiprofessional organization I belong to, who have complete access to the membership roster, think that entitles them to keep sending me all these forwarded emails of "The cutest puppy dogs you'll ever see," or the "Nineteen architectural treasures of Hawaii," or all the other drivel they can find that they think will enrich my life?

I am so inclined to delete emails from them that I have missed some very significant information from each organization, such as meeting times, places and dates.

GENTLE READER: You must send out a mass email of your own.

The idea, Miss Manners hastens to point out, is not to retaliate; it is to gather support and soften the impact by generalizing the problem.

So not, "Having my address for the organization doesn't entitle you to waste my time with this idiocy," but: "Perhaps I am not the only member who is missing some important notices because of the mass-forwarded and other emails unrelated to our membership that land in my spam file. Could we please limit the use of the list for business matters?"

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A few weeks ago, a friend of mine died. She had been ill a long time and her passing was expected. Her children were at the funeral, of course, along with several cousins from out of town.

About a week after the funeral I looked at the Facebook pages of these individuals, hoping to see some mention of my friend and perhaps some kind words about her.

I was surprised to see that the cousins referred to their visit to our city as "my vacation," with no reference to the funeral. They posted pictures showing themselves having a fine time clubbing, dancing and generally enjoying themselves.

My friend's children were shown with them, also enjoying themselves. I was taken aback by this. I hope my kids have the time of their lives, but not the same week as my funeral. What do you think?

GENTLE READER: This is the problem, Miss Manners finds, with posting pictures of one's social life for all to see. You can be caught doing so many unbecoming things that may (or may not) be taken out of context.

Mourning behavior comes in different forms and in different time frames. That your friend's children were not constantly somber during the week after her death is human nature. That they were caught looking that way is the nature of social media.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My pregnant wife of 2 1/2 months just had a miscarriage. Most friends and family members knew of the pregnancy.

When we announced the miscarriage, most expressed their sorrow through religious overtones. Though my wife is religious, I am not. I found it offensive that the loss of our baby gave way to people's own religious opinions on why we lost the baby. I even had one relative tell me that this happened because I didn't believe enough.

Outside a church, what should be the proper way to express one's sorrow without getting on one's own religious soapbox and assuming everybody has your same beliefs?

GENTLE READER: Unfortunately, this sort of outrageous and cruel reaction is not confined just to the religious. Miss Manners finds that the art of blaming the victim when it comes to health issues is rampant. She supposes that its equally unpleasant motive comes from its issuers wanting to feel that they are somehow exempt from the health issue at hand. Inside or outside of church, all that is needed in a situation such as yours is a simple, "I'm so sorry."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our son got married two years ago. He is coming home in July for a few days. I want to give them a wedding reception for our friends and family to get to know what a wonderful person his wife is, and to see their 8-month-old twin boys. What would I call this kind of gathering?

GENTLE READER? A welcome-home party. Or better yet, a party to give your son, daughter-in-law and grandchildren an opportunity to meet your friends and other relatives. Miss Manners does not care to speculate about why you thought to call this a wedding reception.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Although I would like to classify myself as middle-aged, it appears that I am "old-fashioned." I do not have a cellphone. I do not have caller identification. I do not have an answering machine.

When I receive a phone call, I have no technological assistance in identifying the caller. My parents instructed me to always begin a phone call by identifying myself, such as: "This is Kristen; may I speak with ..."

This practice seems to have fallen out of date. When I answer the phone, very few of my callers introduce themselves.

Although I do recognize the voices of family and close friends, there are many callers whose voice is unfamiliar, prompting me to ask, "With whom am I speaking?" My question is often followed with a pause, as if I have just insulted the caller by not recognizing their voice or their identity.

Have the rules changed? Is it still appropriate to identify oneself at the commencement of a phone call?

GENTLE READER: It is always polite to identify oneself, but in these days of nearly ubiquitous caller identification, people have begun to assume that the technology has done that for them. The caller may not even realize he is being rude.

Miss Manners suggests that you defuse the situation by invoking a problem that even those with the very latest technology will understand: "Excuse me, but I'm having some problem on this end -- who's calling, please?" They will assume it has to do with poor reception, weak battery life and other such up-to-date travails.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How do I ask co-workers visiting my area not to sit on my desk or table behind my desk? I often eat lunch at my desk, and eating my meal where someone sat is unappealing. I do not have room to add a guest chair, so that is not an option. I don't understand why someone thinks it acceptable to park their rear on my workspace.

GENTLE READER: Are there papers or books on your desk? If there are not, Miss Manners suggests you add some.

You can then realize that you need to refer to one of these items while a co-worker is visiting. The second or third time you have politely relocated visitors, they will begin to catch on. But you might also invest in a folding chair that can be propped against the wall near the entrance.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it polite to be 15 minutes late?

GENTLE READER: To what?

Your wedding? No.

A film? Yes, if you are not meeting anyone and are annoyed by the advertisements and previews.

A dinner party? Fourteen minutes would pass muster, but for 15, only if you come in looking stricken with a boring story about the traffic, the late baby sitter and having forgotten to charge your cellular telephone.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)