DEAR MISS MANNERS: They say it's better to have hooked and lost than to have never hooked at all. We all search for our soul mates. We all look for someone to grow old with.

One day I hope to sit in my rocking chair holding the hand of the girl I love and know that I lived a full life. I want to know that I took chances and grabbed onto every opportunity that came my way.

Several months ago, I met a beautiful blond girl in Rome. We had a connection that was much deeper than anything I've ever felt before. She was intelligent, kind and classy.

In a world where values are often thrown overboard, she showed me something rare. I met an angel that morning at the Vatican.

There are millions of fish in the sea. I know this girl was an American, but I don't know exactly where she's from. Social media allow us to cast a bigger net than any other time in history. I have the resources to make some pretty big waves, but I can't do it all by myself. Do I cast that net, or do I turn my boat around and find someplace else to fish?

GENTLE READER: You had better hope that the angel in question enjoys fishing as much as you do.

There is nothing inherently wrong with using reasonable available means to locate her to see if she feels as you do. In a less technological time, it used to be called "asking around," and it was done in social circles rather than on social media. We change with the times.

However, Miss Manners implores you to refrain from continuing this unflattering analogy of courtship to hooking fish. It will not benefit you in any social form.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: While I was visiting a major European museum recently, a guard told me that I looked angry.

I had not made eye contact with the guard, nor did I ask for his advice. He said that my facial expression made him think I was angry.

I believe it is not the guard's function to comment on what he perceived to be my emotional state. When he made his comment, I was not near any paintings, nor was I even talking. I think it is the guard's job to protect the paintings, not act as my psychologist.

As it happens, I had just fallen off of a bike and was in pain, not angry. Some people think it was within the guard's role to comment on my facial expression. I disagree.

GENTLE READER: It is not even the guard's job to critique the art, much less the people who come to see it. If he was worried that your facial expression meant that you were in severe distress, he could have asked if everything was all right. If he thought it suggested that you had ill intentions toward the art, he should have kept an eye on you in case you produced a spray can.

Miss Manners considers it a loathsome intrusion to make assumptions about the emotional states of strangers, typically demanding that they go around smiling. Do the others whom you have consulted really believe that the way to spread happiness is to complain about passing faces?

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: There seems to be an idea (mentioned by others and presented in books and movies) that one's new spouse or partner must be introduced to one's ex-spouse/ex-partner. The implication is that the ex's approval of the new romance is necessary.

Unless the exes share children, I am puzzled as to why a new beginning needs to be presented to the past and accepted. Is this always a requirement? Is it unacceptable to proceed with a new relationship if one does not have an ex's blessing?

GENTLE READER: Were this indeed a requirement, it would significantly cut into the second marriage market.

Miss Manners thought that the point of a divorce was to eliminate the requirement that two people agree, after they realize that they cannot.

That said, many people find that some social contact with their ex-partners is either desirable or inescapable. In such cases, a formal introduction will be unavoidable, and may reflect the warmth (or lack thereof) of the relationship with the ex-partner.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have invited some of my sister's friends for dinner for her birthday. These people are far better off financially than I am. Since I have invited them, do I pay for the entire meal for everyone, or should they pay for their meals?

GENTLE READER: Do you suppose that hospitality operates on a sort of tax system, whereby the rich are obligated to subsidize other people's parties?

In the social realm, you are not even supposed to acknowledge being aware of your guests' finances. (And while you may guess at their incomes, you are probably not privy to their financial obligations.)

If you cannot afford to entertain these people at dinner, Miss Manners recommends inviting them for tea and a slice of birthday cake.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: In dealing with people like waiters, waitresses and housekeeping staff here in the United States, I occasionally find that my second language is one that is likely to be their first language -- and sometimes, their English isn't very good. I'd enjoy a chance to practice my second language and maybe make communication a little easier.

I do, however, wonder how to break the ice in this respect, without making unwelcome assumptions -- maybe I'm wrong and this person doesn't speak that language at all, or would rather use English.

Is there a polite way to ask whether the other language would be better, or if I could make things easier by meeting them halfway? Or would it be better for me to just forget about it and stick to English?

GENTLE READER: Have you ever had the deflating experience of proudly speaking a foreign language abroad, only to be coolly answered in English?

Perhaps the foreigners were only trying to practice their second language. However, it comes off as being unable to bear you mangle their language.

That is what Miss Manners hopes you will avoid doing to others. So she will let you try only if you are able to admit, in a humble yet chatty way, that you do speak a bit of whatever, and if the person you address also does, you would appreciate being permitted to practice it.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I will be completing my graduate studies during the next college semester, and I'm unsure as to what the proper etiquette is regarding the mailing of announcements.

I would like to share this accomplishment with the professors who guided me during my undergraduate career, but I am uncertain as to what would be appropriate.

The college I attended during my undergraduate studies is a small liberal arts college in a very tight-knit community. Should I send one to the department chair to share with every professor? Or do I mail one announcement to each individual professor? Is it even appropriate to send an announcement?

GENTLE READER: Where, on a mere announcement, is any acknowledgment that those professors contributed to your academic success? Wouldn't sending one serve as well for someone whose message is, "Nyah, nyah, you thought I couldn't do it"?

Even Miss Manners is not so cynical as to think that graduation announcements are ever sent for the latter purpose. But she wonders what their purpose actually is. Those friends and relatives who would be interested to know of the achievement most likely already do. And the vulgar notion that announcements serve as invoices for presents is mistaken. Presents are always voluntary; all that is due is a letter of congratulation.

By "sharing (your) accomplishment," Miss Manners hopes you mean that you want to express your gratitude for the professors' contributions (which, incidentally, you might want again as you explore the job market in their field). An announcement can accompany -- but does not substitute for -- a letter of thanks. That is what you should write, either to each professor or to the chairman, naming those individuals who helped you.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I are car racing officials, and most of our friends are volunteers, drivers or crew in racing. For that reason, we decided to have our wedding at the start/finish line of our local track. Most of them would be there anyway.

We ensured we had enough sparkling wine and cupcakes for the number of people who would be attending at the track, so everyone would feel welcome.

However, we also sent out specific invitations to our close friends and family for an off-track reception. In those, we specifically said we didn't want any gifts. Beside the fact that we don't need anything, we did this because we knew that some friends who could probably manage coming, but might not have if they felt obligated to bring a gift. So, I thought in this case, while we were not following established etiquette, we did the polite thing. Did we?

GENTLE READER: Because she so often has to deal with bridal greed, Miss Manners is reluctant to condemn this particular transgression. She will give you a pass, which she might as well, considering that the deed is already done.

But the rule against any such formal statement (as opposed to word of mouth) exists because hosts are not even supposed to be thinking of the present-potential when they issue invitations to weddings or any other event. Furthermore, this well-meant tactic is no longer effective. Sadly, Miss Manners is often asked whether "No gifts" really means "Cash only."

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)