DEAR MISS MANNERS: I feel intimidated and insulted (perhaps assaulted) by everyone and their cameras.

Everywhere I go lately, everybody is taking pictures with their cameras and phones. It's a constant barrage, and then, "Look! Look! How do you like this one? HAHAHA! Let's do it again. Oh, now it's my turn." On and on and on.

I am not crazy about having my picture taken to begin with. And now there is the concern about what they are going to do with it. I don't want to end up on someone's social media page.

How can I tell people politely that I feel like they are compromising my privacy and ruining a good time? I feel totally all right with the old practice of a picture or photo from time to time. It is just this barrage of "candid" shots that makes me want to hide out!

GENTLE READER: Reasonable as your point is, it is unlikely to be taken well. Either you will yourself be accused of ruining a good time, or the image of you scowling disapprovingly as you lecture the photographer will turn out to be just the candid snapshot the offender was hoping for.

Better to render the photograph itself uninteresting. Miss Manners recommends a bored smile accompanied by turning away to notice something off in the distance.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What do the parents do when their daughter gets engaged?

GENTLE READER: Some dance in the streets; others try to lock her in her room.

Miss Manners advises a short rest period following either activity before entering into discussions comparing the couple's idea of a perfect wedding with the parents'.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was saddened to read a newspaper article in which a pregnant lady attempted to get a seat in the subway and failed a number of times, despite seats being reserved for this purpose (and for seniors, people with disabilities, etc.)

This is certainly unfortunate, but I can't help but think that there may be an additional explanation besides just lack of courtesy. After all, there's a competing social norm that prohibits one from inferring a stranger's pregnancy. Imagine the embarrassment of attempting to give up one of the reserved seats to a lady, only to have her tell you she's not pregnant!

Could there be another solution? Perhaps if the pregnant ladies made some obvious gesture such as putting one hand maternally on their belly while trying to catch someone's eye? I think that would make it much easier for the polite among us to give up our seats without fear. However, I don't want to add to, as it were, the burden.

GENTLE READER: As the lady in question may need both hands to hold on in a moving subway car, let us not add to her burden with unnecessary gesturing.

Stand and ask her if she would like your seat. If she does not want or need it, Miss Manners hopes she will politely decline. If she responds rudely ("What makes you think I need it?") you need only re-seat yourself and continue your journey.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We have moved to a small town in a popular wine-growing region, and our next-door neighbor is a well-known winemaker. We invited him and his wife over for dinner, and I shared a bottle of one of my favorite (and not inexpensive) wines that I have been collecting for years.

It was delicious, but he drank only a few sips and went into the kitchen and poured his almost-full glass down the drain right in front of me!

Another time, I brought to his house a well-regarded, expensive wine that I had hand-carried back from a visit to a winery in South Africa. He hardly tasted it, and after dinner I took the open bottle back home rather than have him dump this one too.

We may have different tastes in wine, but I'm thinking that I should not waste my generosity and hospitality on this boor. I should add that he and his wife are often loud and drunk. Am I overreacting?

GENTLE READER: Well, if you really need Miss Manners to tell you that your neighbors are not ideal drinking companions, she cannot say that your reactions are sharp. Nor are your neighbors' reactions likely to be, if they are in the habit of over-sampling their product.

You cannot decrease the geographical proximity of your neighbors, but you can increase the social distance. Reducing it to an occasional wave from across the fence should be about right. But first you will have to let go of the idea of impressing them with your knowledge of wine.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I underwent a breast augmentation surgery during the summer, when I was off work anyway for holidays, so I didn't need to explain to any co-workers why I wasn't at work. Some friends and family were aware before, but otherwise I consider it a completely private matter.

I'm surprised to find how many acquaintances and co-workers have asked me about my breasts. (It was a modest increase and I dress very modestly as well ... although even if I didn't, I don't think that would excuse them from asking.)

Is there some way I can save face in front of people when they ask me if I'm on a new birth control, wearing a new bra or if I've had surgery? I don't want to lie, but I also feel like it's none of their business.

GENTLE READER: Really? You feel that the size of your breasts is none of your co-workers' business?

In that case, Miss Manners would expect you to have a bit more conviction about rebuffing these inquiries. They do not arise from compassionate concern about your health. They are lewd, as well as nosy, and the correct response is nothing more than a frosty "I beg your pardon!" followed by a silent stare. Far from being meant literally, those words are an indication that the questioners should beg yours.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A college friend asked me to be a part of her wedding -- not technically in the wedding party, but in a challenging category of "more than guest and less than bridesmaid" that I like to refer to as "JV string bridesmaid."

At the time I was asked, I had no commitments, but now there may be a conflict. Although my main career is that of a teacher, I am also an actor, and my career as an actor is very important to me. Many summer shows that I would like to audition for have performance conflicts with the wedding.

I first met the bride while we were both theater majors, so she does understand the importance of my career. In addition to the wedding, the other obligations (the bridal showers, plural, and the bachelorette party) are starting to pile up. I don't live in the same town as the bride, so travel expenses and gift expenses will be costly.

I feel as though my obligations to this wedding are requiring me to put my life on hold. I do love my friend and want to support her happiness, but we have drifted apart over the years. I usually see her only once or twice a year. Help! I'm feeling so overwhelmed and conflicted.

GENTLE READER: Please save the drama for the theater, my dear, and wait until you have an actual conflict before working yourself into a tizzy.

Telling the bride that her wedding is getting in the way of your potential career is not going to be looked upon kindly, no matter how sympathetic she is to a life in the theater.

Audition for the shows. If you do get cast in one that coincides with the wedding or a related event, tell your friend that you never in a million years thought that this would happen -- you were just trying out for practice -- but you got the part of a lifetime and you don't know what to do. Here is the place to put histrionics to good use.

If your friend is as sympathetic as you say, she might understand -- but only if you act truly devastated. Miss Manners suggests that you start rehearsing.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: On the invitation for a birthday party for a 2-year-old, the parents had the child registered for gifts.

I was under the impression that you register for a bridal shower or first baby shower. I thought it was quite rude to ask for gifts for a child's birthday. I was not brought up this way. Am I wrong or were they?

GENTLE READER: All right, everyone, that is quite enough. Has Miss Manners been too subtle about her position on Gimme Lists?

Stop it!

Registries are never proper. Not for weddings, not for baby showers and not for birthdays; not for christenings, bar mitzvahs, quinceaneras, sweet sixteens, graduations, engagements or debutante balls; not for announcing gender, changing gender, getting a job, losing a job, buying a house, divorcing, retiring or dying.

It is simply never polite to ask someone to buy you a present. Everyone is just going to have to go through life's milestones without thinking of them as free shopping sprees.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)