DEAR MISS MANNERS: On more than one occasion, I have heard a woman say, "We're pregnant!" when referring to the fact that the couple is expecting a baby. My in-laws will even say, "Did you hear that John and Jane are pregnant?"

I think that phrasing it in such a way is ridiculous, and I often find myself responding in a manner such as, "Wow, he's pregnant, too?"

How should I respond to statements such as this, when it is so obvious that the woman is the only one who is pregnant?

GENTLE READER: While it is plainly unfair that mothers should have to do all of the childbearing, Miss Manners, like you, has noticed that such is the reality.

Presumably the plural is used to make the point that this unevenness does not extend to child-rearing, as it might if the child were merely some little project of the mother's. But fatuous is not rude, and your response should be merely to offer congratulations.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our small township of about 5,000 people has a township cemetery. This year, for the first time, township officials are planning a "scavenger hunt" in the cemetery for both adults and kids during a festival-type event the town is having.

In my mind, a cemetery is a place for respect and quiet for the dead and grieving, not for fun and games, where kids are running around on top of the graves. We have a younger generation of township officials overseeing this; the older ones never did such things. Am I wrong and rude to object?

GENTLE READER: This is one more bit of evidence that, as Miss Manners has always suspected, everyone nowadays wants to be in show business.

It seems far more likely that the planners were thinking, "What a wonderful set the cemetery would make for our festival," rather than, "Let's all have a romp on Grandma's grave."

You might explain to the would-be producers that while you see the charm of their proposal, they need to avoid the bad feeling that would result were a living relative of one of the deceased to complain that the scavenger hunt would be a desecration. Suggest they send a letter to all possible survivors, explaining why the contemplated festivities would not constitute disrespect. Your officials may find it easier to change the venue.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I've noticed a trend where some of my friends tip as much as 50 percent (on tax, too). Even new tipping "apps" have calculation options up to 50 percent.

I always thought if the service was outstanding that 20 percent (not on tax) was more than generous. Am I behind the times, or just a cheapskate?

GENTLE READER: Your friends are very generous to people who are woefully underpaid. And as employers knowingly underpay them, expecting the customers to make up the difference, everyone in the industry has an interest in raising the rates.

Miss Manners would have thought that using percentages to calculate tips would ensure increases with the cost of living. However, as you know, the usual rate has crept up to 20 percent, with something more or less depending on the type of establishment.

She has no wish to discourage additional largesse. But that is dictated by the heart and the wallet, not by etiquette.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Three or four afternoons a week, I drop into a popular local coffee shop for an hour to have a cup of their great coffee, to relax and to read my business journals. I almost always have a good experience.

But a couple of times a month, someone sits down near me to chat with a friend. The conversation is loud and boastful, loud enough for most of the customers in the shop to hear plainly. Usually it's about how important their job is -- including details of some project they are working on, what overseas vacation they just took, what influential people they know, and so forth. It lasts not a minute or two, but drags on and on.

It's impossible for me to focus on my reading -- no way I can filter him or her out. So I often just pack up and leave, moaning to myself that my sojourn has been ruined by this self-absorbed show-off.

Is there anything else I can do other than just leave? I'm afraid that there is not, though perhaps you know of a way I can address this situation or this person and rescue my (and others') relaxation or conversation time.

GENTLE READER: Well, that is the annoying thing about public accommodations: They accommodate the public. But even a private club would have a hard time enforcing a No Bragging rule.

Rebuking other customers for chatting in a cafe is a ridiculous notion, and considering your interest in the content of their talk, Miss Manners does not trust you to ask them politely to speak more softly.

But you asked for alternative ways of handling this:

-- As you say that "most," not all, of the customers could hear such a conversation, you could move to an area it does not reach.

-- You could learn to make good coffee at home, where you can presumably set the noise level.

-- You could ask the management of the coffee shop if they would consider establishing a quiet zone.

-- You could wear earplugs, or headphones disguised as earplugs.

-- You could try to find a library that serves good coffee.

Whichever you manage, Miss Manners hopes that you will learn the limits of correcting other people's forms of relaxation.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the proper protocol when speaking with someone who has a stutter? Is it considered helpful or rude to assist him in completing a sentence or question?

GENTLE READER: How can you assist someone in completing his or her statement unless you already know what that person was intending to say? And if you already know what is going to be said, why bother holding a conversation?

So yes, it is considered rude to finish other people's sentences. And Miss Manners wants it to be clear that this applies not only to stutterers, but to spouses as well.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I joined a local mothers' club when my son (now 16 months old) was 3 months old, and formed a new play group with a few other women and their children. We take turns hosting the weekly meeting in our homes and providing lunch for the group.

Sometimes I wonder if I would have made friends with any of these ladies otherwise. We are thrown together because our children are of similar ages, but this fact alone is not enough to overcome all differences.

The other mothers are driving me crazy blaming all of their children's illnesses on my son. I grew up with allergies, and if I thought every runny/stuffy nose portended illness, I would never leave the house. Also, I have read that exposure to colds at this age helps kids build immunity so they don't get sick as often when they start going to school. I don't bring him to the group if he truly seems sick (fever, listlessness, etc.)

I am starting to think that the socialization isn't worth the stress, and while my child enjoys the meetings, I doubt he would actually miss them at this age, especially if I substituted another interesting activity.

The below note was my husband's idea:

"All: Mike has allergies. Perhaps sometimes he also has mild colds. I say mild, because he doesn't get fevers, and Dave and I never have any symptoms that point to it being something contagious.

"That being said, Mike does go to day care and may pick up things there. He goes to the playroom at the gym and plays with other kids that we know. From what we have read and what our doctor says, we think it is important for young children to get exposed to lots of other kids, as it helps them develop a strong immune system, so we are not going to change.

"Mike sleeps about 10 hours a night and only naps after a lot of activity, so he does not seem to be hampered by his regular runny nose. If he had a fever or showed other signs of actually fighting some sort of infection, we would act appropriately.

"Obviously, this is not compatible with the play group, so Mike will be dropping out. We don't want Mike to suffer with sickness and would be upset to see him hurting. The only times he has seemed ill was when he had strep (and we caught that before he had symptoms) and when he was teething, and we stayed out of play group those weeks."

What do you think? Is there any way I can quit play group while politely letting them know I think they are overreacting?

GENTLE READER: It is an exercise in futility to tell parents not to worry about their children's health -- or what does and does not constitute an overreaction.

Furthermore, Miss Manners observes that your husband's note shows concern only for your own child and the reasons to keep him home (including teething, which surely is not transmittable), and declares that your attitude toward immunity and communicable diseases is the correct one. Other parents may feel otherwise -- and can certainly find doctors and studies to corroborate.

Quitting play group is not a problem; you can merely say your son has other activities. Using the opportunity to chastise the other mothers would be creating a problem.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)