DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am at the age now when my friends have started having children of their own. That puts me in the generation who share nearly every part of our lives online, and though I don't have children of my own, I certainly enjoy the pictures and stories my peers post about their kids (who are too young for Facebook accounts).

The trouble is, where does the cute story end and the humiliation begin?

Many of my friends with children post not only "cross-eyed bear" anecdotes, but stories of their sons and daughters being naughty or reckless (as toddlers will), and include details that, were I that child, I would not want to be public knowledge. It's known that most social media make up a permanent digital record. And even if future colleagues and friends don't find these stories, every adult the child grows up around will know them.

Since these kids won't have access to their own online identity for several years, it's a very one-sided narrative indeed. I'm not sure how to talk to the parents involved about my misgivings without seeming nosy or discouraging them from sharing their experiences raising children.

GENTLE READER: The urge to rescue endangered children is a noble one, and Miss Manners agrees with you that these children are in danger of being embarrassed in years to come. As you point out, they are not yet old enough to embarrass themselves.

However, this is not a form of cruelty that justifies outside interference. The most you can do is to say jokingly, "Wow, I bet his future bosses will enjoy seeing that."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My partner is in the military, and occasionally we find ourselves in the situation of having to go out on an errand with him in uniform. We have experienced the whole gamut of responses from strangers, from disapproving stares to adorable little children approaching us and boldly asking, "Do you fight bad guys?" Sometimes we get the standard "Thank you for your service," which he appreciates and responds to with "Thank you for saying thank you."

Most of the reactions from strangers range from tolerable to endearing (to the mother of the boy who thought he was a superhero: Your son is adorable! May he never lose his sense of wonder). Sometimes people become a little too curious and ask where he has deployed to in the past, want to know exactly what it is he does in the military, when he will be shipping out again, etc.

While these are conversations we routinely have with our friends and family, I don't think it is public information any stranger in a coffee shop should be badgering us for. What response would you recommend to terminate these conversations without sounding rude or dismissive?

GENTLE READER: You are fortunate in that this form of intrusiveness, unlike the general nosiness that is rampant nowadays, starts from a premise of respect.

Miss Manners is not suggesting that this requires your partner to enter into such conversations, only that he can draw on that respect to excuse himself. "I'm on leave, and I'm afraid my time is limited" or, "Please excuse me, but these are matters I'd rather not discuss," he can say apologetically.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners(at)gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband's sister and her husband are a nice enough couple, but their tendencies for PDA (both physically and verbally) are starting to drive me bonkers.

They are that couple that kisses at the dinner table, sits on each other's laps when there are more than enough chairs to go around, and professes their love for each other on Facebook, even if they are in the same room. I'm not a prude, but it makes me feel very uncomfortable.

The last straw was when I received my wedding photos a few weeks ago and was dismayed to find many pictures where my in-laws were kissing and making googly eyes at each other in our wedding party (bridesmaids and groomsmen) pictures. Looking at them you would wonder why my husband and I were wearing the bride and groom's attire instead of them.

I really want to say something without hurting their feelings too much, but my husband is convinced they don't know what they are doing. We are all in our late 20s and early 30s, so there is no chance that they will grow out of this behavior.

GENTLE READER: You mean that they look like newlyweds, and yet will never outgrow that stage? Miss Manners finds that a rather charmingly optimistic view of marriage.

It is not charming to watch, however. Prudery -- so common a charge that you anticipate it -- has nothing to do with it. Watching people kiss (and more) on film constitutes a great deal of our so-called entertainment. The reason that onlookers dislike this in life is because it is clear that the loving couple is not interested in others, to the extent of pretending that they are not there.

Do not seat them next to each other at dinner, where couples should be separated anyway, for variety of conversation. Elsewhere, a slightly more polite way of saying "get a room," at least among visiting relatives, is, "It's all right if you want to go home now and be alone." And to keep from going bonkers, stay off their Facebook pages.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: During the offertory collection at my church, some form of religious musical performance takes place. It may be the choir, a soloist (vocal or instrumental) or the bell choir.

At the conclusion of the performance the entire congregation applauds as though they are at a concert. To me this borders on being sacrilegious.

Is this acceptable behavior? Wouldn't it be more appropriate to compliment the performers individually and informally after the service? Is this a common practice in other churches?

GENTLE READER: It is, alas, increasingly common for people to regard everything as a source of entertainment. Miss Manners is grateful that you recognize that church music is indeed intended for the glory of God, not the pleasure of worshippers. Praise for the performers may certainly be delivered after the service, but it should not be allowed to interrupt praise for God.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How long after a woman is married would you call her a bride?

GENTLE READER: In the 19th century, it was a year, during which she could wear her wedding dress as an evening dress.

Nowadays, Miss Manners supposes it is until the couple finally departs from the day-after brunch, much to the relief of guests who have been through a week of dinners, picnics, bar parties and softball games.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am by nature a very private person. I work in an industry that more or less requires a certain level of charisma to succeed, and I am very good at it.

The nature of my position has me working with clients in a one-on-one setting several times a week, and some of these clients feel as though they "know" me, when, in fact, they really know only the "work me."

My top-paying client, with whom I've been working for a number of years, has on numerous occasions expressed having feelings for me, and every time I have expressed to him (as politely as possible, of course) that I am uninterested. It is not uncommon in my profession to have an occasional drink or coffee, etc.; however, he is insistent to ask me every time I see him.

He gets irritated when I decline too often and insists to know what I'm doing instead and who I'll be with. While this makes me extremely uncomfortable, there is a certain level I am willing to put up with in order to maintain my job (there is no one else to take this person from me).

How do I answer such probing questions without being rude? Currently, I tell him I have prior obligations or I've got personal business to attend to. These answers are not sufficient for him, and he continues to probe. I honestly believe that he is the one being rude here, but I do not wish to answer rudeness with more rudeness. Please advise.

GENTLE READER: The name for this behavior is harassment. Furthermore, your relationship with your client being professional, he has no business inquiring into your personal life. Miss Manners recommends your replying to each such inquiry with "That's personal" until he understands that.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm a 60-year-old woman, and my husband's mother has died. She was the last of our four surviving parents to die within the past 10 years, and we feel the losses daily.

I was stunned to receive two sympathy notes from different acquaintances that said they were blessed to still have all living and healthy parents. While I appreciate their acknowledging our loss, I felt a stab to the heart to have that so callously pointed out within a day of my mother-in-law's death.

Please tell readers that a simple but sincere "I'm sorry" is sufficient and much appreciated.

GENTLE READER: Indeed. Why people think it is comforting to compare their own good fortune -- or even their own bad fortune, which is sometimes done -- when supposedly offering sympathy, Miss Manners has never understood.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)