DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am 16, and I fell hard for a guy I like -- I mean, harder than anyone.

I remember the first time I met him. It was two years ago, and he was just sitting there, imperfect and with braces, exactly like me. I've never felt this way about anyone.

I've had a lot of problems in life and relationships, and we always talked about them. He told me he would always be there for me if I ever needed him.

So about two weeks ago, after a play he and I were in, we were outside, and I told him I liked him a lot. He said it's not that he doesn't like me, he just wasn't ready for a relationship.

So I brought up two girls I thought he liked, and he said "kinda" to both of them. After that, he said nothing's going to happen because they are both two years older than him.

So exactly four days after that, he started hanging out with one of the girls he "kinda" liked. He gave her his coat, they talk everywhere and every day, they hug -- and to make it worse he faces me and the girl when he talks to her.

He knows how much I like him. So finally today I asked him what's going on. He told me that he and the girl are going out to see a movie, and then he's going ask her to be his girlfriend.

So two weeks ago he wasn't ready for a relationship, but now he's ready for one with a different girl. I know there's more fish in the sea, but I feel like we're meant to be. I mean, we used to get along so good and flirt.

I love him. I know love is a strong word, but it's true. My two friends are coming over this week to cheer me up and have a girls' night, so should we go to the movie theater and stalk him and the girl, or what's your advice?

GENTLE READER: Read Edna St. Vincent Millay. That is Miss Manners' advice.

Oh, yes, and stay away from that theater and from that couple. If you think that heartbreak is painful now, it would be nothing in comparison to what you would feel if you sacrificed your dignity and made a public scene. Or a private one, for that matter.

Furthermore, you would be killing any possible chance that in the future, the object of your love might turn to you if something goes wrong with the current romance, as is often the case.

Only a bland demeanor that hides your feelings and suggests that you never felt more than friendship will preserve your self-respect, and perhaps the possibility of a future connection.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What does "after 5 attire" mean in Florida in the summer?

GENTLE READER: Pajamas?

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: As a recently married woman, I must admit that I broke traditional protocol in addressing invitations, and I hope that others will do the same for me.

I kept my maiden name, and I have numerous friends who did the same. Rather than addressing them in the "appropriate way," which would be "Ms. X Smith" followed by "Mr. Y Jones" on the next line, I addressed them as "Mr. and Mrs. Y Jones and X Smith." When I address things solely to the woman in such a couple (and what I prefer to receive), I address it to "Ms. X Smith."

I feel that addressing it as such is a more appropriate way to honor the sincerity and depth of the married relationship as well as the independence of the two individuals, which is generally the intention of keeping one's last name. (As an aside, we both intend for our children to solely have their father's last name, as I kept my father's.)

I feel that etiquette has fallen a bit behind the intent of keeping one's last name and should be helped along in this regard.

I married my husband because we love each other enough to have each committed our lives to each other, and we approach life as a couple and as a team, not as two individuals who happen to share an address -- which I feel the "correct" way of address implies. (It is the same way you would address an envelope to roommates who happen to be different genders, which I did also have on my guest list, and addressed them as such.)

As an authority on manners, can you help society work this out?

GENTLE READER: As an authority on manners, Miss Manners regrets that she cannot recognize you as a fellow authority. In the manners business, we do not grant ourselves privileges that we deny to others.

Etiquette did move ahead on the issue of surnames for married females -- from a standard formula that enfolded the wives' identity into the husbands' to allowing free choice.

As there is no practical way of recognizing all ancestry, we now have a wide variety. There are ladies, not all of them antique, who prefer the old form. Others may use the husband's surname but with their own first names; still others retain their birth names, or hyphenate the two surnames, or create an entirely different one. Couples may use the father's surname for the children, or a hyphenated name, or alternate the two surnames when there is more than one child.

You have made your choice among all these possibilities. Why cannot you respect others' right to do the same?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it acceptable to send announcements that a couple is celebrating a 50th anniversary if there will not be a huge party? We're having a small family getaway trip for a week.

GENTLE READER: And why is it, exactly, that you believe that others need to know?

Or should Miss Manners be asking what is it, exactly, that you expect them to do about it?

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We live on a small cul-de-sac in a gated community in an area where hurricanes are not uncommon. As a consequence, we invested in a whole-house generator.

We have lived in the area only a short time, but our next-door neighbors made clear their expectations of us early on. They told us they would help themselves to the limes from our lime tree, for example. They have also told us on more than one occasion that when weather causes a power outage, they expect to stay with us. When a hurricane is approaching, we don't how to gently dissuade them from moving in with us.

GENTLE READER: When a hurricane is approaching, it will be a bit late to turn people from your door. Simple humanity requires you to protect even disagreeable people from imminent danger.

Your neighbors do sound disagreeable, and as they do not recognize boundaries, as it were, you do need to establish some rules. About those limes, for example. At the time they announced intentions to steal them, you could have asked pleasantly what they proposed to give you in return. And even now, you can drop the remark that you are planning to use all those limes, so if they were serious about pilfering, would they please kindly refrain.

You should also have a talk about hurricanes. "I'm concerned about you, because we may not be able to help," you can say. "When a hurricane happens to strike, it could be at a time when we are away, or we could have a full house. You really need to plan for your own safety."

Alternatively, you could revert to the idea of reciprocity. "As we have the generator, and you plan to come here, why don't you help us stock up for emergencies? If you would provide canned goods and water now, we'll keep them here for when we all need them."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How do I politely tell parents that when my 13-year-old daughter invites their girls for a sleepover, it's not an invitation to let the parents spend a night on the town, then retrieve their children very late that night?

Often a parent will reply to our overnight invite by telling us they'll come by to get their girl at 10 or 11 p.m. This means I'm unable to close up my house, get into my pajamas, relax and get to bed -- because I'm waiting for these parents to show up at the door.

Their responses are always couched very politely: "We would love for Lucy to come over! But we need to retrieve her at 10 because she has an early morning appointment." I can't really say, "Sorry, this was a sleepover invite, not a baby-sitting job." Advice?

GENTLE READER: Just some judicious editing to the remark you admit you cannot make. Miss Manners' version is: "Oh, dear, I'm so sorry -- and Lily will be so sorry that Lucy can't be here for the sleepover. I'm sure she'll want to invite her another time, when Lucy can stay overnight."

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)