DEAR MISS MANNERS: I will be in a conversation with a friend, just the two of us, and she will pick up her tablet computer to search the Internet for some detail related to something one of us just said.

Then she will notice a link to something else of interest, and she never again fully rejoins the conversation. She continues to look at the computer and browse, while also continuing to approximate conversation or sometimes just narrating what she is viewing.

She is an adult, and, as Miss Manners rightly says, one must not attempt to teach manners to anyone but one's own children. Or at least, one must not appear to do so. So how do I gracefully say, "Stop that, or I am leaving"? I don't want to just leave without first giving her a chance to modify her behavior.

GENTLE READER: Ah, yes, a common hazard, unknown to Miss Manners' predecessors.

The seductive part is that disputed or forgotten facts that surface in conversation can now be checked on the spot. This is a decidedly mixed blessing.

The person who was right gets to triumph immediately, rather than resorting to the dismal choice between letting it go and reviving a dead dispute. Yet instant research has a discouraging effect on conversation and an encouraging one on pedants.

Your friend has compounded the problem by veering off into the unfortunately common rudeness of snubbing an actual person in favor of playing with her own toy. You can find something else to do, if you say, "Well, I won't disturb you. We'll talk when you have finished your research." It might even be best to leave before she says, "Oh, I can do both."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My nephew and his wife recently had a baby boy. A baby shower was given to them a few months prior to the birth of their son. Their requested gifts were, I deemed, a little bit extravagant, and about 90 percent of the guests just gave them clothes and other minor items.

Since the birth of the baby, my nephew has been posting pictures on Facebook. He recently added an application for people to give him gifts. When I click on the application, no suggestions are given for gifts for the baby; instead, the suggestions are for gifts for my nephew.

I feel my nephew is taking advantage of friends' and family's potential generosity, as he seems to take any and every opportunity to request gifts. Am I out of touch with today's social norms regarding gift-giving, or is it now completely acceptable to ask friends and family to even pay for a wedding (which he did, much to my shock!)? Please advise.

GENTLE READER: Taking advantage? Your nephew is a panhandler.

Miss Manners is sorry to have to tell you this, but the chief difference between begging on the Internet and begging on the street is that street beggars can't afford computers and actually need assistance.

Her advice is to treat these solicitations as you would any other spurious appeal and find worthier objects for your charity.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We have a growing stack of invitations to the high school graduation parties of our friends' children. As we have children of this age, we are well aware of the practice that has taken over in recent years of nearly every family hosting a graduation party for their child during the early weeks of summer.

The result: dozens of parties per day, at times, for the graduating class of this one school (families at all schools in our area have the same practice), with party-time slots filled many times over.

I have heard many of the students and their parents speak about the amount of money "raised" at these parties, and it seems to be the main driver in having a party, which I find extremely distasteful. It has become an exchange of a hotdog for a check.

None of our children had high school graduation parties for this reason -- I don't want to invite people to my home and have one hand extended with the expectation of receiving a check in exchange for our hospitality. My daughters' friends are telling her she's crazy not to have a party, as she'll miss out on all the cash.

Please note that nearly all of the students are going on to college, so this isn't the only achievement expected in their lives.

While I'm all for congratulating the students, I don't know how to handle the "gift" situation. We are of limited means and are already scrambling to help our kids with college tuition.

I'm sure you'll say to decline the invitations if we don't want to write dozens of checks, but I feel as if we'll be slighting some of our closer friends who expect us to come to their parties. Any advice on how to handle what we see as a money-grab by our somewhat misguided friends?

GENTLE READER: Yes, but it requires you to do two things you wanted to avoid: skipping others' parties and giving one of your own.

The difference will be that your party will not be for your daughter alone, but explicitly for the senior class -- the entire class, if that is a reasonable number, or at least for those members who are friends of your daughter's or children of your friends.

That would be such a show of goodwill that your declining others' invitations will not be held against you. Besides, your friends will be too busy worrying whether presents for everyone are expected (and if asked, you can reassure them that no, this party is just for fun).

Mindful of your plea of limited means, Miss Manners excuses you from inviting the parents, on the grounds of not subjecting them to a teenage party, which is the nice way of saying that the teenagers will have more fun without them. That means that you won't be serving liquor and sophisticated food. It should be a lot cheaper than those checks you might have written.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Are great-aunts and great-uncles supposed to respond to high school graduation announcements?

GENTLE READER: Everybody who receives a graduation (or wedding or birth) announcement should respond with congratulations and good wishes. Miss Manners hopes you are not mistaking announcements for bills.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: As my son is attending his very first formal, I realize that I am unaware of the rule of dress for this occasion. For example, isn't my son's tie supposed to coordinate with his date's dress? What style of suit is appropriate?

GENTLE READER: Well, there are rules, and then there are rules. You could use Miss Manners' rules for gentlemen's evening dress, which are strict about black ties being black ties, no funny business allowed. This might teach him to respect dignity -- or it could traumatize him as violating high school custom.

A compromise might be in order. Ask him to inquire about what is expected -- first from the sponsors of the dance, and then from his peers. The sponsors will know whether the boys customarily rent formal evening clothes or wear suits. Your son's female peers can tell him about his date's expectations in the way of flowers and coordinated ties.

Just don't encourage him to ask his male peers. Teenage boys like to think they are satirizing formality, when they don't actually know what formality is.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A male friend who, to the best of my knowledge, was not led on in any way to believe I had feelings beyond friendship for him, proposed to me on Valentine's Day. I was completely blown out of the water.

I said: "I am your friend and do not feel anything else for you. I can't accept your proposal, but I hope we can continue to be friends." He agreed, but has not contacted me since.

I figure he needs time to come around, but my sister says that I was cruel in how I declined. Is there a proper way to turn down a proposal with minimal bruised feelings?

GENTLE READER: There is only one response to a marriage proposal that is not thought cruel by the proposer: "Yes."

Of course it is galling to be offered friendship when one had hoped to inspire passionate love. However, Miss Manners can assure your sister that it is a great deal kinder than the popular alternative: explaining what it is about that person that failed to kindle romance.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was wondering if it is a new thing to send graduation announcements for children that have graduated two years ago, with an address to send the well wishes to?

I received an announcement about two children who have graduated college, one in 2010 and one in 2011, with the separate addresses to where we could send our well wishes. I did not think this was appropriate, but I'm not up on the new trends.

GENTLE READER: Is that what they learned in college -- that you can hand things in whenever you feel like it?

But Miss Manners would have flunked them on content, anyway. "New trend" or not, it is rude to solicit good wishes, even if we believe that that was what they had in mind.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)