DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter-in-law is expecting in July. However, she thinks she should celebrate Mother's Day now. I am a bit old-fashioned; I do not recall celebrating Mother's Day if you are only pregnant.

GENTLE READER: As the idea of Mother's Day is for mothers to be shown appreciation by their children, your daughter-in-law has a problem. Even though she is devoting herself to the nourishment and well-being of this child, she is unlikely to receive chocolates, roses or even a card from that source.

Miss Manners recognizes that two ungracious trends have fueled your daughter-in-law's wish. The first is that people now feel emboldened to declare that others must honor them. Typically, this is expressed in self-generated adult birthday parties and showers. Rather than waiting for others to be moved to organize such an event, the would-be guest of honor initiates it, sets the terms and expects the guests to pay the bills.

The second is the enlargement of Mother's Day beyond that of filial gratitude. That fathers should participate makes sense, especially when the children are young enough to require some guidance, and because he is an indirect beneficiary. But expectations have spread ridiculously. Miss Manners has heard from mothers who expect even their own mothers to pay them honor, and, in contrast, from childless ladies who are upset that acquaintances and strangers wish them a happy Mother's Day.

That your daughter-in-law associates the holiday with her impending motherhood does not bother Miss Manners. That she has seen fit to announce that she expects to be celebrated by others does. Why isn't she busy making Father's Day plans, instead?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Should I get a Mother's Day gift for my girlfriend? She's not my child's mother.

GENTLE READER: Is she yours?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a successful adult son who has been married for almost 10 years and has a young child, no longer a baby. We have entertained this family many times, especially for holidays and family get-togethers.

I feel that this young couple should reciprocate at least occasionally. Never once have they invited us for dinner or to their apartment.

Do I have a reason to feel nonplussed? I certainly invited my in-laws very regularly to my house, even as newly marrieds. My husband won't let me say a word.

GENTLE READER: He probably suspects that the words you want to say are, "We have entertained ... never once have you ... I certainly invited ..." and so on.

But the people you refer to as "this family" and "this young couple" are your own son and daughter-in-law. You could express interest, rather than bitterness. The words Miss Manners would suggest, to which your husband would probably not object, are: "Could we do this at your place sometime? We love having you here, but it would be fun to spend time in your home. I would so enjoy that."

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A cousin has come home from a long foreign trip, taken in part to fill a spiritual hole in her life. She has asked us to come to her home to hear excerpts from her trip journal and to see a showing of photos she took.

While we appreciate that she found the trip rewarding, we have no interest in sitting through such an evening. How do we politely decline? Claiming date unavailability won't work, as she would persist in finding an alternate date.

GENTLE READER: You may have to go on a long trip yourself. Weighing the time, expense and inconvenience of fleeing against spending an evening listening to your cousin recount her geographical and spiritual adventures, you may want to start packing.

In a more kindly spirit, Miss Manners has to tell you that you are probably stuck. But you could exercise some control by adding to an apparently enthusiastic response your desire to tell her your own news. Whether it is about your last vacation, your children's accomplishments or your hobby, bring pictures and ask to go first on the grounds that your presentation will be short. It will hasten the time during your cousin's show at which you can declare, "My, look how late it is."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am soon to be graduating and everyone is talking about these "graduation announcements." All my friends are excited to get them out so they can get presents.

I want nothing except a speedy and fun graduation. I was wondering if there is another way to announce my news that doesn't imply asking for anything (even though I've looked at announcements and don't understand that part anyway). A nice phone call?

GENTLE READER: Isn't it strange that a generation that recognizes no more formal means of communication than the Internet still sends out graduation announcements? Well, not so strange, as you have explained.

This is, indeed, a milestone to be told casually to those you know would be interested. Instead, it is often broadcast around to many who have only the vaguest idea of who the laureate might be, but who quickly pick up on the purpose.

Miss Manners congratulates you, not only on your graduation, but also on your good taste.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a preschool teacher and need a nice way to ask the parents to chip in for a Mother's Day gift the children are making. Each gift will cost about $8.

How do you ask mothers to help pay for their own gift? Ideally, I would write the dads, but some dads are not in the house. I don't want this to come off as tacky.

GENTLE READER: Although Miss Manners understands that tight school budgets have led to assessing parents for materials, she considers that unfortunate. For parents who are also severely pressed, it can be an embarrassment, as well as a hardship.

If you can think of no cheaper way to do such a project, she suggests that you could avoid mentioning the specific use by asking for "school supplies" or "art material."

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it OK to ask for more bread so that you can take it home? I go out with people who feel that it is acceptable to ask for more bread with the express purpose of taking that bread home, not to enjoy it at the meal.

Am I wrong to think that in this situation it is improper to ask for more bread?

GENTLE READER: Only if they are asking the grocer and planning to pay for what he hands them would you be wrong.

Miss Manners hears often now about people who have expanded the doggie bag practice in order to stock their larders. The idea was supposed to be to take home from restaurants the food that you had ordered but were unable to finish. Your dining companions actually want to request extra food they would not otherwise have been served. And now hosts report that guests are asking for -- or simply packing up -- leftovers after private dinner parties.

These are not desperate, starving people, or they wouldn't be going to restaurants and dinner parties. Why are they begging and looting? How do they have the nerve to expect restaurants or hosts to supply them with future meals? And why do you continue to eat with them?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband will soon be filing for divorce. I have, for several years past, presented my mother-in-law with a Mother's Day corsage because she requested one from me several years ago, and I have continued the tradition to avoid the discomfort of being asked to buy one.

When I am no longer her daughter-in-law, is it appropriate for me to order her a Mother's Day corsage as a gift from our young children? My husband and his sister will most likely not remember to order her one, as they have never done it in the past and left the task up to me, or perhaps not even thought of it at all.

I have heard, secondhand, that she will still welcome me in her home after the divorce, and I assume she will want to continue as cordial a relationship as possible, as she will still be my children's grandmother.

It is unclear to me at this point if our divorce will be bitter and ugly or if it will be a cooperative process. By the end, my mother-in-law may come to hate me.

GENTLE READER: As you have been sending those corsages to avoid annoyance, rather than out of affection, you could hardly be blamed for stopping. Yet Miss Manners can think of reasons that you might want to continue.

One is as a reminder of the tie you have with her through the children. Another has to do with the possibility of your being vilified during an unpleasant divorce. It might not help, but it certainly wouldn't hurt to have fresh evidence of your having been gracious to her.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)