DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm a 27-year-old female, and I have difficulty meeting men (I rarely get to go out to bars/clubs, as most of my friends have children). On the rare occasion I do meet someone, something always goes wrong, and that gets me down.

A few times lately I've been asked, "Have you ever thought about having kids?" which I find pretty insensitive, because if I'd met the right man I probably would've had children. What's the best response without coming across as rude?

GENTLE READER: "It's not anything I'm thinking about doing tonight."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I just received an invitation to a very formal wedding. There was no response card; we are expected to write our own note.

To me this is very cheap, and some people just won't respond. There was no "respond by" date, and we found out by word of mouth -- not on the invitation -- that it is a black-tie event. Who knew? Thank you for your response.

GENTLE READER: Wait -- you didn't send a response card. How do you expect Miss Manners to answer you?

Oddly enough, polite people who issued invitations always did expect the recipients to take the trouble of answering them, promptly and in their own handwriting. But polite people may have to deal with people like yourself, who are impolite enough to consider this expectation an outrageous imposition and ignore invitations, even those for events they plan to attend.

Stationers seized on the dismay of the hosts to suggest that the burden on recalcitrant guests could be eased if the hosts all but took over the job of answering the invitations, as well as issuing them. Thus, comparatively recently, the response card came into existence.

Whoever designed it had a peculiar idea of what constitutes formality. To this day, people are baffled by the "M" followed by a fill-in-the-blank, put off by the harshness of "will/will not attend," and inspired by the leeway that seems to be implied in "number attending."

More to the point, the response card did not solve the problem. In increasing numbers, prospective guests were not acknowledging invitations.

So the deadline was added, in the hope that it would signal that the need for a response was serious. Even that did not jolt those who lacked the sense and courtesy to respond. Miss Manners hears daily from frustrated hosts who cannot know how many guests they will have.

And now you have turned nasty because the crutches for guests, which you take as an entitlement, were not offered.

But yes, that invitation should have indicated "black tie" if that was what was intended. Once, it was assumed that evening clothes were required for a formal event in the evening, but even Miss Manners admits that this can no longer be taken for granted.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it inappropriate for a man to refer to a waitress as "Honey" or "Hon"?

GENTLE READER: Not if he is married to her.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have moved to a new city, where a form of parenting seems to be particularly prevalent. One of my closest friends here just adopted a new baby, and was warned that when bottle-feeding her baby in public, she may be subjected to "well-meaning" strangers approaching her about the benefits of breast-feeding.

This hasn't happened to her yet, but I thought I'd ask you how to deal with this, as even the idea of it makes me furious. I can't think of a civilized response that comes close to the level of reaction warranted by such a situation.

I think if I were present and that were to happen, my instinct would be to throw my beverage in their face, perhaps with a "well-meaning" comment on the benefits of proper hydration.

GENTLE READER: Although Miss Manners thoroughly deplores the rudeness you describe, she feels that she must risk seeming equally intrusive by offering you another piece of advice about babies.

It is: Never start a street fight while you are holding one.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I was invited to a dinner with an acquaintance, I expected a relatively short dinner with light and pleasant conversation, and accepted enthusiastically.

Instead, I was treated to a 2 1/2-hour exposition on how I need to fully reconsider my life and choices. She questioned me severely on such personal topics as my friendships and intimate relationships, my lack of social graces, my overly self-important opinion and my lack of self-knowledge, providing "advice" for each topic.

This included her statement that I do not know how to conduct myself in society, and that my current relationship with a young gentleman is "invalid."

I attempted to end the conversation several times, but she took this behavior as my not giving her my full attention and respect.

At the end of the dinner, she explained what a terrible conversation partner I had been for not asking her questions about herself.

In fact, I was so taken aback at her questions that I could not find a way to continue the conversation. I would normally reciprocate a question nearly verbatim, but I would not want to ask such rude or personal "questions" myself. I would hate to think that such behavior would ever be appropriate, particularly from someone I do not consider a close friend.

Please let me know if I am incorrect in this thought. I have considered what I ought to have asked in response, but I have not been able to find just the right phrasing.

GENTLE READER: It is not that long since Miss Manners heard from someone who planned just such a dinnertime attack. She doesn't know which makes her feel worse: that her attempts to head off such a travesty of hospitality failed, or that there are two such people as your acquaintance.

There is, indeed, something you should have said when this tirade began: "Goodbye."

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a 43-year-old woman who has been dating a 61-year-old man for about 18 months. At a gathering of his family, his 96-year-old mother introduced me to the attendees, all of whom I was meeting for the first time, as her son's "friend."

I objected (privately) to her son, who then mentioned it to his mother. She said that since we were not engaged, referring to me as his "friend" was appropriate.

Given that we are adults in a serious, committed relationship and had, in fact, discussed marriage, I felt that his mother was being gratuitously unkind, and that the term "friend" has pretty loose and often casual connotations.

Your thoughts? Boyfriend sided with his mother, by the way.

GENTLE READER: Then let it go. Actually, Miss Manners would have advised you to let it go, anyway.

Do you really want to force a 96-year-old lady, who might become your mother-in-law, to announce that your relationship is "serious," whatever that means?

Indeed, the traditional stages of courtship are friendship, engagement and marriage. To that, modern society has added "partnership" to indicate that a household has been established. We do not yet have a term for having "in fact, discussed marriage."

Nothing unkind was intended. Furthermore, you need not worry that the relatives remained in ignorance of your attachment. The minute you left, every one of them asked her.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have 10 bridesmaids but only five groomsmen! What do I do?

GENTLE READER: You calm down, that's what you do.

Wedding attendants are not a parade of little temporary couples. They are there for you, not for one another, at least until the party has been going for a while. Get them down the aisle as threesomes, a bridesmaid on either side of a groomsman. Miss Manners promises that they will not be charged with bigamy.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was very close to my father, as everyone I know is aware. He passed away, and I have received a number of nice text messages, Facebook messages and emails of condolence, but very few sympathy letters.

I am feeling saddened that digital expressions of sympathy seem to have replaced handwritten and mailed expressions. When my mother died many years ago (pre-digital era), I treasured each and every written expression of sympathy and still have them.

My parents were extremely conscientious about sending personalized notes, and this is something I also do routinely, because I think it is still highly valued by the person who has suffered a deep loss. Do you have thoughts about expressing sympathy in the digital era?

GENTLE READER: It is not entirely a digital era. It is an era in which we are fortunate enough to have various means of sending informal messages quickly, but we have not been deprived of the means of sending thoughtful, personal ones on important occasions. Miss Manners agrees that for your friends to choose the quickest, most casual way to issue condolences was unfortunate.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)