DEAR MISS MANNERS: I must have been born about a hundred years too late, because I have always delighted in the specialized flatware that was so loved in the late 19th and early 20th centuries.

I have recently secured a long-elusive prize in the form of eight ice-cream forks. Beyond a basic plate of ice cream (I assume that sorbet, gelato and sundaes are included), with what dishes can I properly use them? I rarely serve just ice cream, and when I serve pie or cake with ice cream, I have always set a dessert fork and dessert spoon at each place. But that was before I had these nifty little sporky things, which I am eager to use.

I realize that my question does not offer much in the way of great general interest or mass appeal, but it is a matter of intense concern for me, and I trust no one else to provide me with the correct answer.

GENTLE READER: If you insist upon a correct answer, Miss Manners is forced to say that ice-cream forks should be used only to eat ice cream. That is what specialized flatware is all about.

However, you surely know that she shares your fondness for it and wants to do better for you. Just please be good enough not to betray her to even sterner purists.

Ice cream forks are not the only table implements that combine a bowl with prongs. You could pass these off as terrapin forks.

What's that? Your guests don't want to eat a gelatinous mass embedded with turtle parts? Miss Manners will try again.

They could be used as ramekin forks. And you don't even have to catch a ramekin. That can consist of anything baked into an individual dish, such as eggs with breadcrumbs, cheese, bits of meat, whatever you choose. A souffle, if you wish.

Or you could enjoy your ice cream, and set out in pursuit of specialized terrapin and ramekin forks. Miss Manners would understand.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a friend who is always looking for people to do things for him or go out of their way to drive him places. His excuse is that he has an old car and doesn't feel that it will make it there. I am only talking about 10 miles one way at the most.

He also asks me to have a party at my house and invite him over or take him to dinner or on a trip when I mention I am going somewhere, or asks me to buy him a drink when we are at the bar. He claims to have old movie posters that he could sell for a lot of money, but he still cries poverty.

Would you say this individual is a freeloader? He probably does these things because in his mind he thinks I have a lot of money.

GENTLE READER: He probably does these things because in his experience he knows you will comply. Miss Manners suggests that you solve your problem by not doing so.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been through a divorce and will be spending my first Valentine's Day alone in quite some time. I have been thinking about ordering myself a few roses and having them sent to my work.

I was wondering if that would be crass of me, or is it OK? Could you please shed some light on the subject?

GENTLE READER: Perhaps you should shed some light on your motive. If it cheers you to have roses, by all means, buy yourself some. But the ploy of having them sent to the office, rather than just taking some there or to your home, makes Miss Manners suspect that your idea is to make your colleagues believe you have a new beau.

If that is the case, please don't. It is too pathetic, and will only invite questions that will oblige you to spin tales. In the end, that will make you feel worse.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the proper way to address a former governor who resigned from office? It seems disrespectful to all the governors who maintained their commitment to their solemn oath and disrespectful to the office to address a person who resigned a state's top office as Governor Smith or Jones.

GENTLE READER: Such is the protocol, however. Miss Manners is afraid that it is rude to refer to such a person by his incarceration number.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I work for a popular doctor with a huge following at a large optical practice. Our prices are listed in a very nice frame on the wall as you enter the office. We do participate in various discounts such as AARP, AAA and insurance discounts, and those are also listed on the sign.

My issue is that when I ask for payment, some patients argue with me about the price. I guess the squeaky wheel gets the grease? In front of others in the lobby, they boom.

I work alone and need to keep the peace, collect the fees, take the patients back for pretesting and then to the doctor for the exam. Time is not my friend, as I have much to do in a little amount of time. I have to keep it moving or there's a train wreck.

What polite, short and to-the-point thing can I say with a smile on my face and in my voice to keep the mood upbeat in an all's-well environment?

GENTLE READER: "I'm sorry, but I'm authorized to collect the fees only as stated, so I'll have to do that now. But you could write a letter, stating your reasons for asking for a discount, and I'll pass it on to the doctor's lawyer to see if an adjustment should be made."

This is a bit long, but if it is said clearly, those in line behind will pressure the protester to give up. And in Miss Manners' experience, those who argue the longest are the least willing to write letters.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I are flummoxed. In our powder room, we keep a pretty container with decorated paper hand towels on the vanity right next to the sink. There is also a towel ring on the wall with a towel that is there as a decoration. (It's embroidered and is partly satin, and to us it is obviously a show towel only.) Inevitably, some, if not most, guests will use the show towel rather than the paper hand towels.

Why do you think this is? We would think it's obvious that if there are paper hand towels in a powder room, they are to be used, rather than a show towel hanging on a rack. We certainly use the paper towels at other people's homes. Are we doing something wrong?

GENTLE READER: Yes: trying to show off with a hand towel.

Miss Manners has heard of show horses and show dogs, and she is aware that some people use expensive art or automobiles to show off. But to hang a towel as a showpiece is ridiculous, and to expect guests to understand that they are unworthy of drying their hands on it is insulting.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wife says I shouldn't bother you with this question. It might be less than important in the scheme of social relations, but it's been bugging me.

We were invited (by telephone) to a Super Bowl watch party. Along with a snack item, we showed up two hours before, dressed casually (me in a sport shirt and slacks, my wife in a sweater and skirt).

That was pretty much the dress code for the 10 other guests -- except for Joe and his wife. They brought the guacamole, but he was dressed as though he was going to bed. He had on what looked like pajama bottoms and a rather raggedy-looking sweatshirt from one of the competing teams. His wife was only a little more "formal" in another team sweatshirt and color-coordinated sweatpants.

Should someone have spoken to Joe beforehand about what clothes were appropriate, or should we talk with them now, after the fact? There was no willingness to say anything, just a few raised eyebrows.

GENTLE READER: Of course you should come to Miss Manners with this -- who else acknowledges the symbolic importance of dress codes? (Nearly everyone notices them, as you know from those raised eyebrows, but even you feel sheepish about doing so.)

The people whom you should not bother with this are Joe and his wife. Their mistake could have been an accident -- who knows what "casual" means? -- but in any case, it would be rude to chastise them for it. Besides, it wouldn't accomplish anything. Either they realized that they were improperly dressed, in which case you surely do not want to increase their embarrassment, or they didn't notice or don't care.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Granddaddy always took his hat off when going indoors. Is this still true?

GENTLE READER: You'll have to check with Granddaddy. If he is a gentleman, Miss Manners trusts that he still does.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)