DEAR MISS MANNERS: An acquaintance of mine sends me almost daily emails. During the election in 2008, she sent very rude messages about the party to which she was opposed, which happens to be the party for which I voted. After a while, I simply deleted them.

She has started again with the insults, and I don't know if I should keep deleting them or make it clear that I do not appreciate her opinions. She is not a good friend, but I do not want to antagonize her, as she has done me some favors in the past.

However, I do not know how to gracefully handle this situation. Should I politely mention that I do not find these emails funny, or should I just be a wimp and delete them?

GENTLE READER: What is the purpose you hope to achieve? Well, besides saving yourself a few seconds on the delete key?

Miss Manners presumes that you regularly perform the chore we all now have of clearing the in-box of unwanted mail that manages to sneak through the spam filter. But she doubts that you consider responding to repeated sales pitches, pleas from foreigners who need your bank account number to claim their inheritances, and unsubstantiated warnings from ill-informed alarmists.

Yet you have trouble dismissing your acquaintance's emails. See if you can overcome that.

First, dispense with the notion that you can disparage the lady's wit and wisdom without offending her. It can't be done. You may be sure that any answer you give will provoke more of the statements you are trying to avoid.

Then ask yourself whether you want to enter into a political debate with someone you find rude and insulting.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My boyfriend of eight months surprised me on my birthday with a pair of what I am sure were overpriced, expensive earrings. They are pretty, but they will never be worn. They will sit in my jewelry box unless I go to a wedding.

I feel terrible about this. He probably paid too much for what they are. I would much rather have something else and less expensive. I don't want to hurt his feelings, and I know he tried so hard.

What do I do? Keep them in the box for the rest of their lives or be honest?

GENTLE READER: An extremely proper excuse is available to you if you care to use it. That is that a lady does not accept expensive presents from any gentleman who is neither related to her nor in the act of asking to be. You need only thank him profusely but say that you cannot possibly accept anything so valuable.

No? Miss Manners is not surprised. We do not live in an era that understands such delicacy, and you are not likely to be familiar with it. Besides, you already accepted the earrings.

So wear them. Not every day, not even often, but on special occasions, even minor ones such as a dinner out. Ignoring a present, or, worse, asking for a trade-in, is a good way to discourage warmth and generosity.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the most polite and least conspicuous way to excuse myself from the company of a business client when I find it necessary to use "the facilities"?

This pertains to the client's office and in a restaurant setting. I try to time it for the beginning (prior to being in the company of my client whenever possible) or at the end of the meeting.

I've rarely met with the most thoughtful of clients who ask prior to our sitting down together. I know there is a simple answer.

GENTLE READER: Once past toilet training, you cannot really count on others' asking you whether you need to go to the bathroom. So it is indeed necessary for you to take charge by deciding when and finding out where.

Miss Manners is pleased to observe that you understand the importance of euphemisms in this situation (although the quotation marks were unnecessary, as facilities is already a euphemism). "I have to pee now" is unlikely to be taken as a sign that you will be equally forthright and honest in your business dealings.

The simple answer is that in a restaurant, you need only say, "Excuse me." In the client's office, the statement that you would like to freshen up a bit should elicit directions.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My 3-year-old cousin is our flower girl and her mom, my aunt, is my matron of honor. The problem is her mother-in-law wants to come to the wedding.

I don't want that because Kristin, the flower girl, will be wanting to be with her grandmother over my family. My family is perfectly capable of getting Kristin ready for the wedding that day, which is the reason my aunt wants her mother-in-law to come.

I'm having to watch the number of people I invite. I mentioned the problem to my grandmother, who found out the mother-in-law is coming, regardless of whether she receives an invitation.

So how do get her not to come?

GENTLE READER: Hire a bouncer?

Miss Manners strongly suggests that instead, you squeeze this lady in. As she apparently plans to attend anyway, you might as well be gracious.

This should not be taken as a general policy toward self-invited guests. Deterrents include saying, "We'd love to see you on another occasion"; enlisting a mutual friend to intimate that appearing unasked would be embarrassing; and, as a last resort, posting a neutral person, such as an employee at the site, to say, "I'm sorry, Madam, but I don't believe you are expected."

But in this case you have your matron of honor, your aunt and the child's mother all saying that it would be a good idea. True, they all are the same person -- but in a better position than you to know what will best help ensure your flower girl's happiness and good behavior. You will have to trust Miss Manners that this will be more important to you than any unseemly family rivalry for the child's attention.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I discovered last winter that my kitchen cabinets, which are along an outside wall, are cold, although my kitchen is usually warm. Future modifications to the house notwithstanding, I am thinking about heating my dinner plates, like the English.

Is there a particular etiquette I should be aware of, such as warning guests and family that their plates are hot? Is it OK to put a trivet or mat at each place to prevent burning the tablecloth?

GENTLE READER: First increase your insurance. Miss Manners gathers that you are planning to heat your plates to scorching.

Not a good idea. If the food needs to be baked or broiled in the dish in which it is served, that dish requires an underliner. Otherwise, what you want to achieve are pleasantly warm plates.

Before the English discovered central heating, which was somewhat later than the rest of the world, they kept themselves warm by standing in front of huge fires and, when sufficiently fried, turning around to defrost their backs. But people no longer tolerate being singed, not even for the sake of a hot meal.

So instead of putting the plates in the oven with the roast, use a soft, cloth plate warmer that folds on itself over and over, inserting plates between each fold. The plates are thus warmed, but not to a temperature that can damage your tablecloth or your guests.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My 16-year-old daughter had a friend stay over Saturday night. On Sunday morning my daughter went to Sunday school and church service (10 to 12 o'clock) with her boyfriend. My daughter almost never goes to church.

I objected to her going, but gave in and told her she could go only for Sunday school. Due to an alleged misunderstanding, my daughter stayed for church service as well.

Her friend was hurt. My eldest daughter (dead-tired) drove her home because my youngest was not back in time to do so.

I think my daughter should have skipped her Sunday date (which had been tentative all along), and that I was wrong to give in and she to insist on going. She disagrees. What do you think? Are any apologies in order?

GENTLE READER: Not just apologies, but groveling apologies are in order. Miss Manners can imagine how that poor young lady felt, waiting around awkwardly for a hostess who decided she had better things to do.

Perhaps the religious angle befuddled you into condoning such an outrageous sin against hospitality. (Parenting tip: No, the incentive was the boyfriend.) But in that case, the guest should have been told in advance about the plan to attend church and invited to go along. If she chose not to, she could have departed earlier.

Your daughter, in apologizing to her friend, pretty much needs to plead insanity, that she doesn't know what she was thinking, that she was confused about what everyone was doing when -- and then blubber about how awful she feels, how she stupidly missed spending more time with her friend, and so on. She should then issue another invitation.

And you should instruct her thoroughly on hostess duties before permitting her to be one.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)