DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a male acquaintance who has tried to get me into private and intimate situations, despite my saying "no" many, many times. I constantly hear stories from my female friends about men continuing to throw themselves at them, no matter how many times these ladies say they are not interested. In these cases, the young men are not asking us out on dates; they are asking us to engage in casual sexual activities.

I do not think these men are trying to sexually harass us, although we do feel sexually harassed. These men are simply used to young women being willing to engage in casual sexual encounters with them.

However, my close friends and I are ladies of propriety and do not desire these advances. In my own experience, when I have responded with a polite "No, thank you," the young man chuckles indulgently. I believe he thinks I am playing hard-to-get and want to be pursued with more determination. He genuinely does not understand that I am not playing a game. I simply do not desire his amorous advances.

I want him to take his answer like a gentleman. When an increasingly stern "No, thank you" is not working, what is a young lady to say that will stop his undesired attention?

GENTLE READER: "No, thank you" is the proper response for declining a cup of tea or some other gracious or benevolent offer. It is not the proper response to a lewd proposition. Even to Miss Manners' sympathetic ears, it sounds as if you are grateful to have been asked.

The proper response is, "How dare you!"

Now stop giggling. The reason this amuses you is that you don't blame those who ask because their propositions are sometimes accepted. In that case, you should not be insulted, as perhaps you are not. You complain only of the repetition, as if this is equivalent to the annoyance of a host who keeps pressing you to take a cookie after you have declined.

Miss Manners suggests that you pay more attention to your feelings of being sexually harassed. Consider whether the assumption that you, who consider yourself a lady of propriety, will engage in sex with anyone who asks -- to the extent that your refusals could not possibly be serious -- constitutes an insult.

Then respond to it as an insult.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I moved from New York to Florida for several unhappy reasons and not a single happy one. People I meet naturally ask, "What brings you to Florida?"

I realize they are simply expressing interest in me and demonstrating a desire to chat, both of which are very kind and welcome.

Talking about myself and my reasons for this somewhat traumatic move depresses me greatly at this point, however. I don't wish to lie, but I also don't wish to talk about my sorry life as it is right now. I've no idea what to say that encourages conversation, but discourages the topic of why I moved.

GENTLE READER: As you recognize, these people just want to chat. It is not a legal deposition, where you must tell the whole truth, so you don't need to give a literal answer to the question as long as you offer material for a chat. Miss Manners suggests, "I heard the weather was always calm," which can lead to a nice discussion about hurricanes.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband is serving as an ambassador after decades as a career diplomat, and we are posted to a lovely city that many people enjoy visiting. Therefore, we have many houseguests.

We have household staff who do double duty when the houseguests come. We feel they should get something extra during these times, but we're not sure how to handle it -- tip our staff ourselves, or nudge our guests into leaving a tip.

The latter seems pretty tacky to me, but we were actually instructed by more experienced ambassadors in a protocol seminar to leave a little sign in the guest bedroom gently suggesting leaving a tip for the staff.

I feel some people may be offended by this, but that others will be grateful to be reminded. If we've invited friends to come visit, should we, as hosts, just "eat the tip"? If we paid our staff these tips ourselves, it would probably come out to about $1,000 a year. When we have guests, we offer them three hot meals a day (we have a wonderful cook), and we often take them touring (gas is expensive in Europe, too).

These things I wouldn't dream of asking payment for -- they are part of being hospitable and are a joy, really. But the tipping point (pun intended) seems to be somewhere in its own little gray area.

GENTLE READER: Your guests probably also do not understand that they are your guests, not the U.S. government's, and that you will be paying for their keep.

Miss Manners is not suggesting that you tell them that, which is why she is making this public announcement. But you can mention the tips incidentally, by saying how much the local custom is to give when you are explaining -- as surely you must as a matter of interest -- the customs of the country.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have had a chronic illness for almost 20 years, and most of the time I have been able to conceal it. However, the past few years it has gotten progressively worse, and this year I had to retire early.

Few people know the extent of the problems or know there is no cure. It's very difficult for me to go out and be social because it's so tiring. When I do go out socially, some people I know may ask me, "How are you?" and I have no idea how to reply.

If I smile and say I'm fine, it's lying. I don't want to say something negative or otherwise be a wet blanket to the social occasion. I've thought of just trying to change the subject to the weather, but is that appropriate?

GENTLE READER: If you simply smile and reply, "How are you?" Miss Manners doubts that anyone will protest, "No fair, I asked you first!"

This is because what appears to be a health question is not, when asked socially, a request for medical information, but a mere convention. The conventional response, "Fine, thank you," or, if your conscience prefers, "As well as can be expected," is not a lie, but can be understood to refer to your not being in distress at the moment, or you would not have attended a party.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a young woman in my early 20s, and I have recently taken up knitting in an effort to broaden the scope of my hobbies. I thoroughly enjoy it, and it provides endless entertainment for me.

I started off knitting at home, and once I became more confident in my abilities, I began taking my knitting outside with me. It has proved to be useful in staving off boredom while waiting for the bus or at the doctor's office, among other places.

Unfortunately, since I have been taking my knitting with me, I find myself frequently asked by several people when the baby is due. I am not pregnant; I am merely a larger girl with an affinity for homemaking crafts. I find myself at a loss for a response and typically end up looking at the offender with a mix of shock and surprise.

Sometimes the look is not enough, and they remain there smiling and waiting for an answer, at which point I have a tendency to laugh nervously and say something to the effect of "I'm not pregnant." I feel bad about how chagrined the questioners are, but I can't think of any other response besides making up a due date to preserve the poor folks' dignity.

Is there a better response I could give these well-meaning (and seriously misguided) people? Am I more or less doomed to pregnancy questions because the only feasible reason for a young woman to knit is that she is expecting?

GENTLE READER: As Miss Manners understands it, football players who knit do not have this problem. But we all have the problem of inspiring strangers to voice the first silly association that comes into their heads.

Pretending to be pregnant would only encourage such people to make even more intrusive comments. They have compromised their dignity enough as it is.

Unless you are knitting booties, you can merely state what it is, in fact, that you are knitting: "Actually, this is going to be a ski mask. For skiing, not for robbing convenience stores."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I just received a wedding invitation with an enclosed response card. The response card is basically blank, but says, "The favor of your reply is requested before (the date)." What is the proper response? A note, an email, a phone call?

GENTLE READER: Why is the card called a response card? Why does it have blank space in which to write?

Miss Manners has always opposed such cards. It is not the host's responsibility to supply the means of response, and anyway, those who do so report the same rate of non-responsiveness as those who trust their guests to know that invitations of course require an answer.

But there that card is in your hand. Unless you want to be ultra-correct and respond in the same third-person form in which wedding invitations are issued, for goodness' sake, use it.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)