DEAR MISS MANNERS: If your boyfriend has asked me to marry him several years ago, and he has yet to make a move and set a date -- what do you think would be a polite way to tell him that I love him, but I need this relationship to go forward? I do not want to end it. I just want to remarry and have children.

GENTLE READER: There seems to be some confusion here. Absent-minded as she may be, Miss Manners is pretty sure that she would remember if she had a beau who had asked you to marry him. She probably would have thought about sending you a silver tea service.

Pronoun trouble aside, she does not know of a formula for speeding marriage, now that fathers with shotguns are scarce. But she believes that stating one's needs is less apt to inspire enthusiasm than the declaration that one is so passionately in love as to be impatient to be united forever.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm a very well mannered young lady in south Fla. & was wondering how I can tell successful men that keeping their hands to theirself & not kissing etc. is not acceptable! I am mid-western raised with very high morals. I'm wondering (in a nice way) to tell them they aren't being appropriate! I would love to find a book about manners & just give it to them!

GENTLE READER: Folks, can we do some proofreading here?

Miss Manners chooses to believe that you are a young lady of very high morals deploring those who do not keep their hands to themselves and go in for unauthorized kissing, not that you meant to say that you are of low morals and deplore those who refrain.

In the former case, the words you need are, "How dare you!" In the latter case, Miss Manners cannot advise you.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My boyfriend's mother makes it a point to intrude into our lives, and I am not sure how we can manage this. My boyfriend is a very filial son and will plan his dates with me to accommodate his mother's schedule.

When I call my boyfriend in the evenings to have a chat, she will pick up the handset and tell me that it is late and that my boyfriend needs to sleep -- this while the two of us are conducting a conversation.

My boyfriend will never stand up to his mother's controlling instincts. Although I love him, I am beginning to have doubts about the relationship, as I cannot imagine a life with a mother-in-law dictating everything to my husband and him following her instructions to the letter. I've asked him why is he so submissive, and his reply was, "She is my mother."

Is there a polite and effective way to let my boyfriend's mother know that her actions are inappropriate, or should I call it quits with him?

GENTLE READER: If you start criticizing the gentleman's mother, especially on behavior to which he has no objection, you won't need to call it quits with him. Miss Manners is sure that they will be able to manage that between them.

However, she is puzzled at your attitude. If you believe that it is wrong to attempt to dictate behavior to an adult, why do you propose doing it yourself?

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it appropriate for the woman to pick out the style of engagement/wedding ring that she has to wear on her finger for the rest of her life? Or should the man pick it out without any hint?

The ring could be ugly or not suit her personality. It will save her the pain of having to wear an ugly ring and be secretly unhappy about it, right?

GENTLE READER: You make a sensible point -- one that hasn't a chance of being implemented.

That is because of the modern invention of the Mandatory Surprise Proposal. It is now obligatory for a young gentleman in this situation to plan an elaborate scene in an exotic place, designed to shock and surprise a lady with whom he has probably been living and debating marriage for years, by falling to his knees, whipping out a diamond ring and blurting out a proposal. He is supposed to have a photographer hidden nearby to record her amazement.

But (Miss Manners hears you ask) isn't this the old-fashioned way, charmingly revived?

Not exactly. True, it has been a staple of cartoons for many years. But as old-fashioned gentlemen tended to lack the intimate courtship opportunities of today, marriage proposals were not mere formalities, and the surprise was sometimes in the response. Unless he had a family ring to offer, a suitor would be foolhardy to invest in jewelry before being sure of obtaining the hand.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Last night I went out partying with some fellow graduate students and got inebriated. I overheard the woman giving me a ride say at the event that she hates it when people get drunk and act stupid.

I am sure I did and said stupid things around her. I don't know her very well and won't see her again for several months. Should I contact her to apologize for my behavior?

GENTLE READER: You mean that you did not fall all over yourself with apologies in your letter of thanks?

Oh. You mean you never thanked her, beyond what you may have mumbled drunkenly when you stumbled out of her car.

It is not only for the sake of manners that Miss Manners urges you to write a profuse letter immediately. Do you really want to risk running into your benefactor at another party, and guessing what she is quietly saying to another guest when she sees you? For that matter, do you want to keep waking up at night thinking of that scene, dismissing it as a bad dream, and then remembering that no, it really happened?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: The mother of a young woman I know insists that it's "proper etiquette" to stick postage stamps on envelopes (in this case, containing holiday cards) that are being hand-delivered. Surely this can't be right! She may have some vague idea that hand-delivery looks cheap, as if you're only trying to save money on stamps. I feel it's the other way around: Hand-delivery is a luxury. And what a terrible waste of a stamp.

GENTLE READER: Unless you think of it as saving the Postal Service.

Traditionally, you are right that hand-delivered letters have been considered more important. As Miss Manners recalls, a stamp used to mean that you were trying to save the cost of employing a footman to deliver it.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My family went out to dinner and really enjoyed the variety of delicious breads that were served in a breadbasket at the beginning of our meal. Between the four of us, we finished the basket, and after our meals were served, the waitress replaced the breadbasket, filled with more of the delicious bread.

Since we also enjoyed our meals, the second basket of bread didn't get eaten. We asked the waitress if we could take the bread home, and she said yes and gave us a take-home container.

In the past, when faced with a similar situation, we had been dining with friends who considered it rude and tacky to take home more than we could eat at the restaurant if we didn't pay for it. We disagreed: The waitstaff throws out uneaten bread anyway for sanitary reasons, and we didn't want the bread to be wasted.

Were our friends correct in thinking it was rude, or is our family right in wanting to save the bread from being thrown away?

GENTLE READER: Accompaniments to the meal are indeed intended to be consumed -- or not -- on the spot. But as you made a special fuss about the bread, rather than merely sweeping everything into your pockets, Miss Manners will defend you as flattering the restaurant, rather than fleecing it. She supposes you could also have put a decent cover on it by asking for a birdie bag.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My son is invited to spend time in the home of one of his classmates. The classmate's parents request that I sign a release of liability before my son arrives. I think this is unbelievably rude -- as if to imply that I would sue them if there is an accident or injury!

Am I overreacting, or has our society really come to believe that anyone who visits your home, and is injured, will sue?

GENTLE READER: Well, there is an awful lot of suing going on. But that is all the more reason to be wary of people who harbor anticipatory litigious thoughts about their children's playdates.

However, that is not the only worry that Miss Manners would have if she were you. What goes on in that household that such a precaution is necessary?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a young, 20-something man who works directly with the public. Recently I had some work done on my right eye, which required the use of an eye patch for a few days. How should I respond to curious strangers who ask, "What happened to your eye?"

My response has been on a few occasions, "My name is John, and yours?" to call attention to the fact that the inquirer doesn't know my name but is demanding my medical history. One woman even went as far as saying, "I'm a doctor. Tell me about your eye."

Although I appreciate the offer for free medical advice, my doctors are more than proficient. Help! I'm starting to be rude about it.

GENTLE READER: No, no, don't do that, when you can, instead, say, "You are kind to be concerned, but I'll be fine. Now what did you come here about?"

As for that unprofessional doctor, Miss Manners would have said, "But I can see well enough to know that you are not MY doctor."

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)