DEAR MISS MANNERS: My boyfriend and I have been feuding over whether it is appropriate to smell food at the dinner table. I believe that it is rude and strange to act like a dog and smell one's own food at a nice restaurant. Please help me settle this.
GENTLE READER: Does he run around the table several times before settling down? Does he put his nose in his plate? This would suggest to Miss Manners that you might attend to his identity problems before his table manners. Or reconsider your own social life.
Actually, there is nothing wrong with human beings enjoying the smells of good food. There is just something very wrong with their being caught with their noses down or their mouths open. The correct posture is with the head thrown back to catch odors wafting in the air, murmuring a discreet "Mmmm" from behind closed lips.