DEAR MISS MANNERS: I think that many people mistakenly prescribe any breath that does not smell like medicine or some drugstore swish as Bad Breath.

When my husband comes home from work and he gives me a big wet one, I might say "Where did you go for lunch and have a great Caesar salad?" as he is very aromatic. I enjoy it immensely. Or, sometimes if I'm with a client, I might want to ask "Where did you have that great pesto?" but I don't, because that would be bad manners.

Don't you think they're being very closed-minded??? I have many friends from Europe and various ethnic persuasions, and I believe that it is acceptable to smell like something other than a medicine bottle.

If my kitchen smells like a delicious spicy Italian dish, people compliment me. If I serve an aromatic dish, people give me compliments. But if my mouth smells like that great dish, that's bad???

Miss Manners, don't get me wrong I have experienced bad breath in others. (Coffee and cigarettes don't make a great combo in one's mouth.) But don't you think these uptight, narrow-minded people should relax and enjoy all these other wonderful scents???

GENTLE READER: What Miss Manners thinks is that you and your husband should content yourselves with enjoying your wet and pungent activities in private without the additional burden of worrying that other people might be uptight. She is afraid that your game of identifying the contents of people's digestive systems is not likely to charm those less attached to you.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a long-time moviegoer and often see as many as five films a month. I have often run across a problem that seems to cross all race, gender and age lines: talking while the movie is playing.

Obviously this is an annoying and ungracious habit. I have been met with responses from the agreeable to the impertinent when I have politely asked my fellow moviegoer to cease this activity. So my request to you is a simple one -- a final ruling to the long unanswered question: When is appropriate to cease all conversation in a movie house?

May I also ask, parenthetically, is it ever appropriate for a person to put their feet or legs up on the theater seats?

GENTLE READER: Once upon a time, moviegoers who were asked whether they didn't have someplace to go were engaged in an activity other than lounging and chatting. That was back before those amazing modern inventions, the video feature and premarital sex, which gave both talkers and lovers somewhere else to go.

But they keep hanging around. Okay, folks, keep your legs and feet on the floor and do not converse during the film.

Miss Manners might allow whispering during the previews ("There's one we can skip"), but is willing to listen to debate about that.

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DEAR MISS MANNERS: Lately, I've been getting "burned up" when visiting friends and family. Until I installed central air conditioning in my own home, I was not at all bothered when hosts refrained from using the air conditioning when I was visiting. Now that I've felt the good life, I wish that my hosts would at least offer to use air conditioning when I visit, if they have it.

I must point out that I only visit when invited. I would never drop in unexpectedly. I hint politely, "Wine? No thanks, it's really too warm for wine, just some cool water for me, thanks." Or, "Should I shut this patio door so that the air conditioning won't get outside?"

What really gets me irritated is when the host walks me to my car and says, "Wow, it's hot! I think I'll shut up the house and turn the air on." This has happened three times already!

I enjoy entertaining, and I really try to have the temperature comfortable for my guests whenever it is in my control. I often try to turn the invitation around and have folks come to my house if it's going to be warm, but that doesn't always work.

Is there a polite way to ask if the host will have the air conditioning on for my visit, or is there a polite way to ask when I get there?

GENTLE READER: Miss Manners will allow you your little joke about burning up, provided that it isn't meant to imply that your hosts are deliberately making you uncomfortable, perhaps to save on their bills. People are comfortable at different temperatures, and hosts may not notice that filling a room makes it warmer. Only close friends may be asked if you can change the temperature. Otherwise, you must use the indirect method, which is to ask "Is it me, or has it gotten warmer here?" At least if this comment is answered by a chorus of "It's just you," you will have set yourself up for being excused on grounds of wooziness.

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DEAR MISS MANNERS: I use a wheelchair. Numerous strangers have approached me in public; they have related some story to me about a distant relative, a friend, or the person speaking and how that person is/was in a wheelchair. Then, after they've shared this story, they ask about me: "So, what happened to you?"

I feel that my personal history is just that -- personal. These people want to tell their own stories, and I am the unfortunate audience. Is my unwillingness to humor these nosy people a personal shortcoming, or is it rude and improper to ask such a personal question of a stranger? I liken it to asking a stranger for their age, weight, or original hair color. Such behavior wouldn't be tolerated, but there seems to be no prohibition against demanding one's medical history. How can I respond in such a way as to convey that asking is inappropriate?

I really dread this situation. I tell friends and acquaintances who need to know, but I'm flabbergasted when strangers are rude without seeming to know how rude they're being.

GENTLE READER: People do ask one another about their age, weight and original hair color, Miss Manners regrets to tell you, and their victims are often intimidated into answering. She fails to understand why, when they should feel as indignant as you do.

Wheelchairs are supposed to help people get around, not to keep their conversation confined to discussing their medical history. Miss Manners has steadfastly refused to be bullied by those who claim that it is healthy to respond to such inquiries, that failure to do so is an indication of shame, and that because curiosity may be natural it should be satisfied. So she is aware of the degree of pressure you must withstand.

If you cannot change or break off the conversation, you can at least treat the question about yourself as if it were the conventional rote question about health. In that case, your response would be, "Oh, I'm fine, thank you, how are you?"

It might be wise to accompany this with the set smile that accompanies an exchange of pleasantries that is going nowhere. Should there be a more explicit follow-up question, you could say, "Really, nothing of any concern to anyone but my friends."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it proper to use pre-printed return address labels on any and all correspondence? My mother disagrees with me -- she thinks they're tacky.

GENTLE READER: Miss Manners finds herself less and less interested in mailing envelopes, which became an unfortunate necessity only when one could no longer depend upon footmen to deliver one's letters in a clean envelope (they wore white gloves) bearing only the surname and title of the recipient. (The second, "inside" envelope for wedding invitations is the only surviving part of that tradition.)

So for your ordinary mail, mailing labels are fine. They are not proper for all correspondence, for example, on letters to a mother who thinks they are tacky.

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