DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it appropriate behavior to scare a person by coming up quietly behind them and saying "Boo!" very loudly? And then to laugh as if it were a huge joke and not even bother to apologize? A so-called friend of mine did just that to me twice, and both times scared me so badly that I thought I would have a heart attack.
She does not seem to realize that it was bad to frighten people at my age. How can I stop her from doing that again? Should I let her have it, or pretend that nothing happened and just ignore her?
GENTLE READER: In certain circles, this is considered not only appropriate but witty. However, as such circles are more apt to be susceptible to chicken pox than to heart attacks, Miss Manners gathers they are not the ones in which you move.
Among all age groups, the way to discourage jokes is to fail to react to them. If you can't manage to simulate equanimity, compose yourself as quickly as you can, and say calmly, "Oh, that's probably not a good idea. You wouldn't want to be responsible if something happened."
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