DEAR ABBY: My brother, who I will call "Alan," has cut me off. We each received 50% of our mother's estate, as specified by her will. Our respective inheritances amounted to a considerable amount of money. Alan thinks I stole $8,000 from him. This is both untrue and impossible.

Alan spoke with the only remaining relative of our generation, our cousin "Jay," who subsequently contacted me and told me Alan will never speak to me again. This is terribly painful.

Alan has been using medical marijuana to deal with back pain, and his habit has taken over his life. I believe it has distorted his mind. He's also living with a woman I believe is his enabler.

I have my theories as to what is actually going on, but I have no proof to back up my suspicions. What would you advise in this situation? Is it redeemable? I miss the close relationship we once enjoyed, but I can't compete with the drugs. -- DISILLUSIONED IN OHIO

DEAR DISILLUSIONED: I find it peculiar that cousin Jay was the person who delivered that message to you, rather than Alan, which would have provided an opportunity to defend yourself. Have you actually tried to contact your brother and been rebuffed? If you have done so, and have really been accused of grand theft, consider defending your reputation with the help of an attorney and accept that your brother chooses to remain estranged from you.

DEAR ABBY: I am a single man in good health. I'm intelligent, friendly, funny and have been told by more than one woman that I don't look my age. But I do have one exasperating personality trait. I can't tell whether a woman is just friendly or romantically interested in me. I have no clue. None.

I met a very attractive single woman, relatively close to my age, a couple years ago. Over time, she has seemingly become more enthusiastic about saying hello to me when I visit her workplace to deliver items every week. She always smiles when we speak to each other. Conversations have gone from short and clipped to longer and more personal. I like her very much.

How can I tell if a mature woman is flirting with me or just being personable? She often works small compliments about me into our conversations. I want to ask her straight out if she is flirting, but if she says no, I'd be very embarrassed. I need your good advice. -- CLUELESS IN MICHIGAN

DEAR CLUELESS: If the woman didn't like you, she would keep those conversations short and strictly business. Do not ask her if she is flirting. DO ask if she'd like to have lunch sometime because your conversations are always too short. If she says yes, you will know your interest in her is reciprocated.

DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend is the loveliest, smartest, most compassionate and supportive person I know. We have been together for a year and a half. When we first met, we hung out a few times. When I told her my feelings toward her, she responded that she was in an open relationship, so I backed away.

Months later, we met up again. I helped her with a carpentry project, and she said she was done with the open relationship stuff and wanted a monogamous relationship. I agreed. We have a caring, supportive relationship that means the world to me.

Multiple ex-boyfriends call her and want to hang out, and she wants that, too. What bothers me is worrying the exes' intentions may not be good, yet she feeds into it and tells me I need to trust her. I struggle with jealousy, anger and distrust when this happens, and I have shared those feelings with her, but she can't let these folks move on. She says I'm stealing her freedom and controlling her by asking her to ignore them. This is the biggest problem in our relationship, but everything else is great. Are my emotions wrong? -- INSECURE IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR INSECURE: Your emotions are not "wrong." Your emotions are your emotions. Sometimes there is sacrifice involved when we form new relationships. Your girlfriend may have many fine qualities, but if she can't understand that you feel these former lovers are a threat to your relationship, rather than attempt to "control her," realize she isn't the girl for you. Sorry!

DEAR ABBY: I have developed several serious health conditions that won't get better. I am at high risk for respiratory illnesses. Even a common cold can have a serious impact on my life. My family just doesn't get it. My husband does not understand my situation and my needs. His social life puts me at risk, yet he continues to attend large gatherings and events such as concerts. I have had COVID twice, and avoiding hospitalization is crucial. I'm currently on oxygen and will be until I die.

There are places I would like to visit, and things I would like to do while I still can. But my husband balks, especially if his plans need to be changed. I can't do these things or travel without assistance. I NEED him now. With every "not now" and "we will see," I grow increasingly frustrated and depressed. What can I do? -- BUCKET LIST IN KANSAS

DEAR BUCKET LIST: Recognize the person you married is selfish and self-centered. "Not now" and "we will see" mean NO. (What a guy!) His refusal should not mean you mustn't enjoy the activities you dream about. You may, however, have to become creative and arrange for someone other than your husband to accompany you. He may not like it, but please consider it.

DEAR ABBY: With no discussion, my husband decided to retire two years ago. He said he would just take Social Security and we'd be fine. He failed to take into account that he was underage for Medicare, and all of his dental and medical bills would become my responsibility since I'm still working. Luckily, I convinced him to leave SS alone, and to roll his 401(k) into an IRA.

There have been bumps. He spent several months sitting all day long unless I asked him to do something specific. I finally put my foot down, and he's now responsible for evening meals, cleanup and laundry. Unfortunately, he does little beyond that. Most of our conversations begin with, "I watched a video today ..."

Abby, I have been working since I was 13, and I'm tired of working, too. I find myself angry and jealous of my husband's laziness. I have started eating and drinking more than I used to, and we have no sex life. I have no energy to garden, go out after work or do anything on the weekends.

Any ideas about how to rid myself of the jealousy? I think if I could do that, I'd start to feel better about the rest. -- WORKING GIRL IN TEXAS

DEAR WORKING GIRL: Although you identify your problem as "jealousy," I'm not sure that's what I'd call it. Some classic symptoms of depression are ones that you listed in your letter -- exhaustion, losing interest in things you used to enjoy, lack of energy, overeating, drinking, etc.

It's time to consult your doctor about these symptoms, as well as the fact that you have now been forced to carry more responsibility in your marriage. You may need counseling or medication, and your doctor can refer you to someone who can provide them.

It also wouldn't hurt to encourage your husband to get out of the house and exercise his brain and talents by volunteering in the community. If nothing else, it would enable him to bring more interesting dialogue into your conversations. Exposure to people with other interests and opinions could stimulate him, and you.

DEAR ABBY: I need advice about people who are dishonest. I have been to several baseball games and wrestling events where people paid for lower-priced seats but then sat in the more expensive seats. I know I shouldn't let it bother me. However, I feel this is unfair.

I want to say something to the staff, but I don't want to be "that" person who causes trouble. When my boyfriend and I buy the cheaper seats, that is where we sit. It's the right thing to do. How do I stop letting the actions of others disturb me? -- HONEST IN WISCONSIN

DEAR HONEST: I heard a line in a play years ago that stuck with me. It was written by Voltaire, and it goes, "Cultivate your own gardens." To me, it means concentrate less on what others are doing and more on the standards by which I live my own life.

You have every right to be disgusted when you see people cheating. But allowing it to become a preoccupation is a distraction, and it only lessens your own good time. (Cross your fingers and hope the folks who bought those seats show up and embarrass the cheaters.)