DEAR ABBY: My 40-year-old daughter has never grown up. Until recently, she relied on her grandmother to make ends meet. Her grandmother passed away, and now I'm all she has. After she was fired from her civil-service job and evicted from her apartment, she broke her leg in a hiking accident. I got her into an apartment and have been supporting her for a few months now.

Once her leg has healed, she has an entry-level job to return to, however long that lasts. I don't think it pays enough for her to live on. I offered to pay for training in ANYTHING she's interested in, but she shows no interest in a part-time job to help with bills. I can't believe what she tells me because she never learned responsibility, accountability or honesty.

She has now quit texting me because I called her out on her continual excuses, lies and half-truths. I'm committed to paying her rent until her leg is fully healed, but then what? Do I let her go to the street in hopes she'll learn responsibility? I know what can, and probably will, happen. To say she's ill-prepared is an understatement. -- FED-UP DAD IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR DAD: Until your daughter learns there are consequences for her irresponsibility, lack of accountability and lying, she will become increasingly dependent on your generosity. That she no longer answers your texts may be a plus.

Continue the arrangement you have with her until her leg has healed and then, finally, let her live with the consequences. It's the only way she is going to learn. The alternative is to keep supporting her as if she were a child for the rest of your life.

DEAR ABBY: I'm an attractive, fit and emotionally intelligent 43-year-old woman who has been divorced for almost eight years. I have dated during that time, and even had a five-year relationship with someone I thought would be my future spouse, but who turned out to be a waste of time. I ended the relationship three months ago, and I'm ready to date again.

My problem is I have an aversion to online dating. Most of my relationships have been with men I've met via other means, but I feel I may need to use this tool to meet people since I'm so busy with work and being a single mother of two (ages 15 and 11). Joining a group or a club can be difficult, and I don't have many friends who can fix me up. How can I make this process more enjoyable? -- LOOKING FOR LOVE IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR LOOKING: Online dating is enjoyable for some people and abhorrent to others. If the dating pool in your city has shrunk, you may have little choice other than to sign up for some dating apps. Talk to some of your friends and relatives and ask for some pointers. More than a few successful matches have been made online, but understand that it is a sifting process, and you have to be prepared to cope with disappointment if what you want doesn't happen right away. Keep at it, don't personalize it ("if at first you don't succeed ...") and recognize that every failure heightens the odds of success down the line.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Pete," and I have been together four years. During the pandemic, he moved to my hometown, and we live together. Last year, he befriended a man who lives across the street. This neighbor had been a civil-service employee but took early retirement and is undergoing treatment for PTSD.

Originally, I was happy for Pete's new friendship in a new city, but the friendship has turned into a daily bromance. They spend two to six hours in Pete's man cave, drinking, smoking and playing bar games. When I join in, the neighbor interrupts me and railroads the conversation. He insults me and is hypocritical about everything from my appearance to the meals I prepare.

I defend myself to this man, but Pete remains silent despite my pleas for support. (Pete says he "hates confrontation.") An example: When Pete didn't quickly answer his texts or calls, the neighbor would come to our house, peer through our windows, yell and bang on the door. It took Pete six months to tell him to stop doing that. He also eavesdrops on our private conversations, and I will open a door and find him just standing there.

Because of all this, I'm having intimacy issues. I never know when this guy will show up and what he will see or hear. I'm angry at Pete for not doing anything to resolve this. I'm no longer happy in my own home. I think this man feels threatened by me, like he wants Pete all to himself, and I don't know what to do. Please help. -- STRESSED IN TEXAS

DEAR STRESSED: Your neighbor doesn't feel threatened by you. You feel threatened by him, and with good reason. He's trying to commandeer your boyfriend, and it's affecting your relationship. The man also appears to be unstable. Normal people do not act the way he does. His fixation on Pete is unhealthy. If your submissive partner cannot recognize that on his own, insist on some sessions with a licensed psychotherapist who can explain to him exactly what the two of you are dealing with.

DEAR ABBY: Is it rude to move the front passenger seat in a car if you are only going to be in it for a short time? My fiance and I have been together nine years. I don't own a car, so he takes me everywhere, and I have the passenger seat adjusted perfectly.

When his 17-year-old daughter, who is only in the car once a month or so, gets in his car, the first thing she does is move the passenger seat. We are about the same height and weight, and I see no need for her to do it when she's in the car for only 20 minutes or so.

My fiance refuses to ask her to leave the seat where it is, but I feel she's being disrespectful and that he should say something to her about it. Please help. This is causing a lot of arguments and hurt feelings. -- AGGRAVATED PASSENGER

DEAR AGGRAVATED: I'll try. If you value the relationship you have with your fiance of nine years, stop sniping at his daughter and adjust the seat to its original position once a month when you enter the car. This isn't a competition over who he prefers, so stop trying to turn it into one.

DEAR ABBY: There is a man, "Gus," I am completely, madly in love with. The issue is, he likes to drink -- a lot. The only thing he wants to do when he's not sleeping or working is drink. His health is rapidly deteriorating, and he lost his license for 10 years because of drinking and driving.

Last weekend, he picked me up and we went to the gas station. When we got there, he was so drunk he couldn't even pull up to the pump but just parked in the middle. When I told him he was too drunk to be driving, he drove off and left me standing at the gas station and hasn't spoken to me since. I guess that's how he decided to end our relationship.

He needs to get help, and that's why I'm writing you. He reads your column every single day and never, ever misses it. I love him. He is my He-Man and the best man I have ever met when he's not drinking. I'm asking you to please let him know he will always have my heart, that my love for him is unconditional and endless, and I will be praying for him. Please urge him to get the help he needs before it is too late. Thank you for helping him. I'm sure it will make a difference. -- HIS GIRL IN MISSOURI

DEAR 'GIRL': I am sorry you are hurting, but if you step back, you may accept that as ugly a way as your boyfriend chose to end your relationship, it may have been a lifesaving favor to you.

Nowhere in your letter did you say that he (as wonderful as he may be when sober) has tried to overcome his addiction to alcohol. Until he recognizes how dangerous his behavior is and decides to do something about it, nothing will change, and your community is unsafe with this drunk behind the wheel. He may need rehab or Alcoholics Anonymous, but until he recognizes it and reaches out for help, his behavior won't change.

You, however, might benefit from attending Al-Anon meetings (al-anon.org/info). If you do, you will meet others who are also involved with alcoholics. It's obvious to me that you need all the emotional support you can get, and you can find it there.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of six years left me five months ago for another woman. We were engaged to be married later this year. After he left, I discovered that for the last two years he had been seeing this woman behind my back. It was devastating. We are expecting quadruplets in about four months, and he all of a sudden abandoned me and our babies. It has been a big shock.

Am I normal for feeling devastated, angry, mad and hateful all at the same time? And is it normal for me to want my ex to give me the closure I and his babies deserve so that I can move on with my life alone? What advice do you have for me? -- SUFFERING IN IOWA

DEAR SUFFERING: You have my deepest sympathy. Your feelings are normal, and you have good reason for your anger and outrage. Your next "step" should be into the office of an attorney who will help ensure that the boyfriend who abandoned you will support his four babies into adulthood. Because you are linked to him for the next 18 years, you cannot have total closure, but this would be a giant leap in the right direction.