DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend lost his sister unexpectedly to a heart attack. She was only 50. I'm trying to be there for him and give him his space while he's grieving. The thing is, he has stopped responding or contacting me. Every few days, I'd send him words of support, but he doesn't respond -- not with a "thank you" or anything. This has been happening for the past week.

Finally, I figured that he's ghosting me and no longer wants to be bothered with me but doesn't want to say it. So I told him I didn't want to add to his stress, that I felt he was over our relationship and I wouldn't bother him anymore. He responded, saying I'm taking it too personally, there's nothing I can do to help and it's something he has to go through.

I know that. I understand grieving. But am I supposed to just wait until he feels like talking or being bothered with me, for however long it takes? I'm trying to be understanding, but for someone to just cut you off and not even acknowledge you is awful. I mean, he's completely emotionally unavailable, like I don't exist! I don't know what to do. -- PUSHED ASIDE IN THE SOUTH

DEAR PUSHED: Here's what to do. Back off! Since you understand grieving, you must know that no two people grieve exactly alike or on the same timetable. Your boyfriend has told you explicitly what he needs. If you care about him, give him space and stop personalizing this. His emotional needs must come before your own right now. Distract yourself by seeing friends or involving yourself in activities you can enjoy for the next month or so. If you do, when he's feeling more like himself again, he will come back to you.

DEAR ABBY: I work from home, so I do not need to get dressed up every day. I wear T-shirts and athletic shorts because I usually coach my sons in after-school sports and want to be comfortable. Every day, my wife complains about my appearance, comparing me to other fathers. She also has no problem yelling about it in front of my kids or her family. This happens often. She says, "People won't want to do business with you if you dress like that!"

Anytime I see a client, I dress for the occasion. Since she seems to have no problem saying anything about my appearance, can I say something about the weight she has gained over the last couple of years? Since she says stuff like that to me, I think it's only fair that I should be allowed to say something to her. -- COMFORTABLE IN THE EAST

DEAR COMFORTABLE: Say anything you wish, but before you open your mouth, ask yourself whether it would be helpful or inflame the situation. Many people prefer to dress casually, and sometimes others can be judgmental about it -- your wife being only one of them. As strongly as your wife may feel about your choice of attire, she's wrong to criticize you in front of others, because berating you will not improve the state of your marriage.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been together more than 20 years. Our relationship grew stale over time, and a couple of years ago, she decided to leave me. However, over the few years, even though she has had several lovers, we have started to get close again.

The problem is, I really love her and want her back as my girlfriend, but she sees this as a casual relationship, which leaves me feeling hurt. For example, she doesn't see a problem with having a long conversation with another lover while she's at my house. When she realizes that I'm hurt, she gets exasperated and says she feels like she has to "walk on eggshells" around me. Is it me? Is there a path forward? -- STRANGE SITUATION IN FLORIDA

DEAR STRANGE SITUATION: Your problem is you have allowed yourself to be put in the "friends with benefits" category when what you really want is an exclusive relationship with your ex. It isn't going to happen. If she's talking with other men while she's at your house, it means she's not interested in how her actions affect you. The path forward is one that's as far away as you can get from this person because your agendas are polar opposites.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a widow who recently became engaged to a man who, I'm realizing after two years, has a gambling addiction. He recently lied to me about his whereabouts, and I found out this same thing went on during his first marriage. I can't say for sure this was the first time he was untruthful, but I had a gut feeling.

We had developed what I thought was a good relationship based on mutual respect and trust. I could use some advice about what I should do going forward. He has become my friend and family since I have no children and have lost not only my late husband, but also a brother and recently my father. -- THROWN IN NORTH DAKOTA

DEAR THROWN: I know you are lonely. But if you love your fiance, continue the relationship as it is, and do not plan on marrying him. Realize that should you marry a person with a gambling addiction, commingling your assets could ruin you financially and affect your retirement.

If he has a desire to change, there are 12-step programs he could join, Gamblers Anonymous being one of them (gamblersanonymous.org). But please be aware that compulsive gambling is an addiction, and your fiance could fall off the wagon at any time.

DEAR ABBY: My husband texted a graphic nude photo of himself to his ex-girlfriend. I am shocked and hurt. Should I leave this man? -- CAN'T UNSEE IT IN WEST VIRGINIA

DEAR CAN'T UNSEE: Yes, I think you should, because the naked truth is that your husband isn't finished with his former girlfriend.

DEAR ABBY: Ever since about my eighth month of pregnancy until now, six months postpartum, it seems like my husband is disgusted by me. He rarely initiates intimacy, doesn't kiss or hug me and barely touches me. I am still about 30 pounds heavier than pre-pregnancy.

When I ask him about his feelings for me, he says he loves me and I'm just being crazy, but I know I'm not. It sometimes feels like I am his babysitter and housekeeper. I know he is stressed because I stopped working, but it just seems as if he's always angry with me, and I don't know why. -- NEW MOM IN THE EAST

DEAR NEW MOM: You have described how circumstances have changed for you since the birth of your baby. What you may not be taking into account is how reality may have changed for your husband. He may be stressed because he is now the sole wage earner and is overwhelmed by his responsibilities as a new father.

Your instinct that something is different could be chalked up to that. Communication is so important between couples that it might be in your interests to suggest the two of you facilitate it with the help of a marriage and family therapist.

DEAR ABBY: I'm having a tough time with people who video chat and play videos on their cellphones. It's always at a volume you can hear from 30 feet away, and it happens when I'm dining at a bar or sitting in a restaurant, etc. It's distracting, intrusive and really annoying. It's as if this behavior is now acceptable, when it's not -- at least to me.

Any suggestions on confronting this behavior, or is it really my issue to deal with? If I could toss their phones into the ice machine at the bar, I would. -- GROUCH IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR GROUCH: In a restaurant, if the sound of someone's cellphone video is intrusive, ask the host to move you to a quieter table. If it happens in a bar, it may be because the more crowded the place it, the louder it becomes -- so either move to a quieter area or find a quieter venue.

While I agree that many people spend more time on their cellphones than communicating directly with the people around them, you can't change them and neither can I. So learn to tolerate it or, if it becomes too much for you, leave.

DEAR ABBY: My husband sneezes really loud and it's kind of embarrassing. What should I do about this? I told him he should see a doctor because it happens a lot. -- MARRIED TO A NOISEMAKER

DEAR MARRIED: People sneeze for various reasons, not all of them allergy-related. Your husband should discuss it with his doctor because the solution could be something simple. If he's unwilling, then earplugs might be the simplest solution -- for you -- if you can grab them when he starts going "Aaaaa ..." before the "choo" escapes.