DEAR ABBY: I'm a single, retired woman on a fixed budget. I love to cook and entertain. I would do it more often if several of my friends didn't routinely consume four to six bottles of wine collectively at dinner (at least one bottle per person, plus other drinks).

I can't afford to spend $100 or more on alcohol, but I'm embarrassed to ask them to bring their own beverages, as no one else in the group does it. Any suggestions for how to handle this without offending them or breaking my budget? -- GRATEFUL FOR ADVICE

DEAR GRATEFUL: You are not obligated to go broke paying for your friends' overindulgence. Because you are entertaining in your own home, tell them what you have on hand, what you plan to serve and, if they need more, they should bring it with them.

DEAR ABBY: I am in a committed relationship with a wonderful man. We are not married, but we call each other husband and wife and have two beautiful children together. Our relationship is great.

My husband had a different childhood than mine. He didn't have many friends of the opposite sex. I, on the other hand, had a lot of guy friends growing up. I cherish many of these platonic relationships. There is a lot of history with them (some more than 20 years), and I enjoy their company greatly. We don't have any romantic histories.

I don't hang out with them often because I know my husband would be upset if I were to see another man one-on-one, even just as friends. I understand his point of view. I know I might be jealous if he were to hang out one-on-one with another woman, and I would wonder. I guess we both have trust issues.

There are some hobbies I would like to engage in, and a few of these guy friends have expressed interest in joining me on occasion. One of those activities is metal detecting. I have the two kids in tow most times and would need help digging. Even without the kids, I don't think it would be as much fun doing this by myself. My husband would join me if he weren't so tired from his 12-hour workday and getting up at 4 a.m.

I am going stir-crazy with the kids, and I need an outlet. This is something that excites me, as it will get me outdoors, and is steeped in local history. These men are some of my best friends and we would never fool around, but I'm afraid my husband won't understand. Is there any hope? -- TREASURE-BLOCKED IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR TREASURE-BLOCKED: If this is going to happen, you and your husband first need to resolve your trust and insecurity issues. There's hope if you discuss this thoroughly with him and he trusts you enough that it won't excite his insecurities. (The same would be true if the situation were reversed.)

He needs to know that when you do this, he is always invited. Have you asked any of your women friends if they might find your hobby to be of interest? It is possible one or more of them would welcome the break, too.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 55 and have been married to my husband for 22 years. He was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease 12 years ago. He's mobile but on oxygen and has lost most of his stamina. At this point, everything in our life (friends, family and social life) revolves around his disease. He responds to any invitation we receive with, "We will see" which turns into a "no" or "I'd rather not," on the day of the event. I am free to attend on my own. Many of my friends have never met my husband, and some joke that I'm not really married.

I can live with this situation except for the lack of intimacy and sex. Sex was never a central part of our relationship, but the nearly complete lack of intimacy over the last 10 years has been frustrating. If I try to discuss "my needs," he gets defensive and says, "File for divorce then!"

Since the last blow-up a couple months ago, I have tried to ignore my needs, but that isn't working. I am becoming judgmental and critical, and I know that living this way will make me increasingly resent him. My struggle is the thought of leaving someone I swore "for better or worse" with, for the selfishness of "my needs." Any advice? -- NEEDY IN ALASKA

DEAR NEEDY: Raise the subject again with your husband. When he says, "Well, divorce me then!" ask him if he really means what he is saying because there may be another option. There are no hard-and-fast rules for the situation in which you find yourself, and some couples deal with it discreetly. Ask yourself what you would do if the situation were reversed. Would you want your husband to find an outlet for his sexual urges outside the marriage? If your honest answer is yes, and because you can no longer tolerate the status quo, your husband deserves to know what is on your mind.

DEAR ABBY: I am a woman who has been with my spouse for 22 years, married for eight. During all that time, she has yet to set boundaries with her birth family. While we rarely argue, when we do, it's usually over a request for money or some kind of infringement made by her relatives. I'm powerless to get ahead of their requests because I find out only after the fact that money was loaned or space in my garage is being used to store their stuff, etc.

We started our relationship in therapy because of this situation and, 22 years in, we're still in the same place. We hardly talk anymore, and I'm deeply saddened. I don't know what the next steps should be. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. -- STUCK IN ARIZONA

DEAR STUCK: Sometimes progress is two steps forward and one step back. In your case, you and your spouse need to take one step back. Consult another therapist for help negotiating a solution to your wife's lack of boundaries and her habit of making financial and other commitments to her relatives without first clearing them with you.

DEAR ABBY: I am a proud 42-year-old gay man. I was legally married to a man for four years, but we were together for 12. In 2011, I had to make the decision to remove him from life support after a sudden traumatic illness. I remained single for six years, and then I met who I thought was a wonderful man who was 16 years younger. After the first year, he became controlling and emotionally abusive. When I ended the relationship, I felt so much freedom.

I have met someone my age who reminds me of my late husband, and we have bonded and are forming a relationship. So far, it has only been dating and spending a lot of time together. I'm scared to start something so soon, but it feels right.

When is a good time to move forward? When is a proper time to become intimate? We have both had bad relationships and respect each other's boundaries at the moment. I will never remarry, as I was entitled to survivor benefits from my late husband, and we both agree there are ways to protect each other and our financial needs other than marriage. Please help. -- IN-BETWEEN IN COLORADO

DEAR IN-BETWEEN: It seems to me that you and this new man in your life are doing everything right. You are getting to know each other and taking your time before becoming intimately involved. The proper time to advance to the next stage would be when both of you are comfortable with the idea. Communication is key in every aspect of your relationship, and it appears you are doing that already.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 36 years old and married with three children. I have two siblings I have a good relationship with. The problem is we have a half-sister two years younger than I am who doesn't know we exist. When my parents were married, my father had an affair with a married woman, and they conceived my half-sister.

My parents ultimately divorced. My father's mistress went back to her husband, and they remain married to this day. My half-sister was never told who her biological father is or that she has three half-siblings.

I have struggled my entire life with sharing this information with my half-sister because I don't want to ruin her life. My father passed away 20 years ago, so she will never have a relationship with him. My siblings also haven't been able to bring themselves to share this information with her, and I remain torn because we are close in age, look alike and have gone into similar fields of work.

I'd love to have a relationship with her. I understand she may not want to have a relationship with us and may have a lot of questions about why we waited so long to tell her. Is sharing the truth worth potentially ruining her life? -- LONGING TO SHARE

DEAR LONGING: How do you think your half-sister is going to react after finding out she has been raised with a lie? Is a potential relationship with you worth the damage it may cause between her, her mother and her stepfather? If she were in need of an organ transplant, I might feel differently. Unless the reason is something equally urgent, do not intrude.