DEAR ABBY: Is it a problem that my doctor is a bit of a flirt? I had a procedure recently, and when it was completed, the doctor announced, "All set!" My reflexive response of gratitude, relief and optimism that the procedure would help me was, "Beautiful!" Doctor's response to that was, "Just like you."

Now, that could mean "Just like you to respond that way," or it could mean, "You are beautiful." I don't mind either way. But is this a problem that should be noted somewhere? It's not the first flirty-type double-entendre. -- DON'T MIND BUT OTHERS MIGHT

DEAR DON'T MIND: If the compliment was followed by anything else that made you uncomfortable, you should have spoken up and told him so. He may have meant that you are a beautiful person rather than any physical attribute. Or he may say something similar to ingratiate himself to all his female patients. Bottom line: If you feel you must be on guard with your doctor, pay attention to your intuition and find another one.

DEAR ABBY: I have three grown children living in my house -- my son, 27, and my daughters aged 27 and 23. All three have boyfriends and girlfriends who occasionally sleep over. My son's girlfriend sleeps in his room, while my daughters' boyfriends sleep on the couch. The girls are now asking for their boyfriends to sleep in their bedrooms. I know they are not babies, but I'm not comfortable with it. What's your thought? -- UNCOMFORTABLE DAD IN NEW YORK

DEAR DAD: As you stated, your children are all adults. I find it interesting that you have allowed your son to do this while denying it to your daughters. If ever there was an example of the double standard, this is it.

Of course, the bottom line is that this is your house, and you get to set the rules. Before you do that, look into your heart, figure out what is making you uncomfortable and have a frank discussion about your feelings with all your children.

DEAR ABBY: I have been seeing a widower for two years. His wife died 2 1/2 years ago. His children don't care for me -- not because of me personally, but because someone is now in their father's life other than their mother.

The kids are going to have a combination birthday party and anniversary party for their father. If his wife hadn't died, this would have been their 50th anniversary. Is this normal? It seems awkward to me. Are they doing it because I'm going to be there? What should I do? -- UNEASY REPLACEMENT IN MICHIGAN

DEAR REPLACEMENT: What the kids are doing is bittersweet, and I understand the impulse. I surmise that their father will experience mixed emotions about it. This isn't necessarily being done because you are in the picture; it may be an attempt to keep their late mother's memory alive (without taking your feelings into account). Attend the party, be gracious and warm to everyone, and do not personalize it.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married 28 years. I love my husband, but one thing really bothers me. I have told him time and time again, to no avail. We have two small dogs that he insists sleep in our bed every night. I reminded him again last night that it bothers me, and asked if he would please put them in their dog beds. He said it was too late because they have been in our bed for 10 years.

If I suggest that I sleep in the guest room, my husband gets upset and sulks. Not only do those dogs disturb my sleep as they move around and growl, but I smell like a dog until I take my morning shower each day. I work a full-time job, and he recently retired. Any advice would be appreciated. -- DOG TIRED IN FLORIDA

DEAR DOG TIRED: You say your husband has recently retired, and his solution to a disagreement is to sulk. Well, batten down the hatches because it's time to finally draw the line and insist he respect not only your feelings but also your health.

Lack of restorative sleep can cause any number of health problems as well as household and car accidents. Because he can't bring himself to put the dogs where they belong, treat yourself to a solid night's sleep in the guest room, and do not allow yourself to be intimidated.

P.S. Those dogs need to be bathed more often. Now that your husband is retired, he should see that it gets done.

DEAR ABBY: I was in a mentally and physically abusive relationship for 19 years, until I finally found the courage to take our daughter and leave. Afterward, I met the man of my dreams, and we married. We were together for 30 happy years.

After his death, I sold everything and moved to another state to be with our daughter. Living with her is a financial advantage for her as I help with the rent, utilities and groceries. I do have my own private space in the house.

Her father is now ailing, and she wants to move him to a nursing home near us, which is fine with me. However, she wants to have him over for special-occasion dinners. I am extremely uncomfortable in his presence. I have told her I would make plans to be out of the house at those times. My daughter feels I should stay and suck it up because the holidays are for "family."

I don't want to ruin holidays for her and my granddaughter by not being there, but I also don't want to be in the company of the man who made my life miserable for all those years. Please help. -- SURVIVED IT IN THE SOUTH

DEAR SURVIVED: You should not be required to celebrate any holidays with your abuser in order to fulfill your daughter's fantasy of a happy family. If she was old enough to recognize what was going on, she should know better.

Tell her again that when you finally found the strength to leave your abuser, you promised yourself you would never have to be in his presence again and you are keeping that promise. Tell her nicely that you hope they will have a happy whatever-the-occasion-is, and you will arrange to celebrate it with her and your grandchild on a different date.

DEAR ABBY: I have a relative who lives in the same city I live in. Her parents and mine exchanged holiday dinners for decades. Our parents passed away many years ago, and I continued to include her for holiday dinners. I consider her a good friend and we share many interests.

During COVID, we started to have dinner every weekend to support local restaurants, and we enjoyed the evenings when nearly all entertainment venues were closed. Now the shows and sports activities I enjoy have resumed, and our weekly dinners are interfering with the outdoor activities I prefer.

She's retired, and I still work, so my free time is limited during weekends. I feel pressured and must leave my events early in order to resume these dinners. Many of her close friends have passed away over the past couple of years, and she seems increasingly dependent upon me for companionship. She suggests many other events and trips during the week.

I'm concerned my lack of enthusiasm may eventually offend her. She knows my weekly schedule because of our frequent dinners and keeps track of my work schedule. I'm beginning to feel more trapped now that the COVID restrictions have been lifted. What can I do? -- OBLIGATED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR OBLIGATED: Tell your relative the truth. Your schedule has changed since COVID, and you want to be able to pursue the activities you enjoyed before they were curtailed. It should not be "offensive." Speak up, and the truth will set you free. (While you're at it, suggest some activities she might enjoy that will enable her to make some new friends.)

DEAR ABBY: I have grown children, ages 51 and 43, who argue and hate each other because of their heavy drinking. My older son is an alcoholic. The younger one is on the same path. When they are drunk, they fight really bad, and it's tearing me apart.

I don't want to be here anymore. They take all their frustrations out on me. Each one blames the other. It's a mother's worst nightmare. The older one lives with me, and the younger one threatens me that he's not coming to visit because his brother is here. They are very jealous of each other. Please advise me. -- DOWNHEARTED MOTHER IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR MOTHER: Draw the line. You are not helpless, and you don't have to put up with your sons' misbehavior. Find a chapter of Al-Anon and start attending the meetings for moral support. Tell your battling "boys" you will no longer tolerate alcohol in YOUR home.

While you're at it, make sure they know you have had your fill of their sibling rivalry, and if they can't settle their differences like adults, you do not want them over there. Be sure your older son knows that if he doesn't comply AND get help to sober up, he will have to find another place to live.

Your younger son should also be told you want to see him only when he's sober. Whatever happens after that will be better than the chaos in which you are living.